


Performance of one's duty

by Shivanessa



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Dark-ish Thor, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Lovers, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), M/M, Slow Burn, forced change of body, war bride loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2020-12-24 07:11:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 82,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21095471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shivanessa/pseuds/Shivanessa
Summary: The second war between Jotunheim and Asgard ends with the Jotun defeated. Loki, unpopular child of king Laufey is to marry Thor, son of Odin, to ensure peace between the realms, once and for all. Loki complies, despite Thor being a brute and despising all Jotun as beasts. But neither of them know the true meaning behind the marriage and Loki’s role in all this.





	1. Unfortunate Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first try at my fav topic - arranged marriage! This turned out different than the million of ideas I had in mind for the theme, but I hope you enjoy the ride.  
The gulf between Asgard and Jotunheim is very strong here and both sides deal with stereotypes and feelings of hate, so expect that to be mirrored in the language of each side.  
Thor is a brute in the beginning (Thor 1 style) and I have no idea where he will go, so stay alert. 
> 
> Tags will be updated when the story progresses.  
Many thanks to EndlessStairway for beta-reading! <3

Thor stepped down from the highest platform of the tower, treading carefully to not slip on the ice covered steps. His mood was stormy and the clouds gathered around the fortress to reflect it. 

Blighted Jotun! They caught wind of his raid, despite the efforts he took to cover for his attack. At the same time his father was marching against Utgard, to bind the majority of the giants troops there and enable Thor’s small troup to overrun the fortress. According to the spy’s reports the Jotun hid a weapon to destroy Asgard here, in this godforsaken fortress by the northern sea. 

The fact that the army fought elsewhere and Thor was not allowed to lead them into battle had been outrageous itself! He was the crown prince and the mightiest warrior Asgard had ever seen. With Mjollnir in hand he was bound to glorious battles and epic accomplishments. But Odin had decided to task him with this secret mission instead. To retrieve the ancient relique that enabled the Jotun to unleash Ymirs powers onto the other realms, the casket of winters.

Norns, he was so fed up with this cold and dark place! The few times he had seen the sun since the campaign had begun he could count on one hand. The ice wind sept into his clothes and now that his boots and pants were splattered in the blood of the enemy, it felt frozen. For weeks there had been no hot baths and no leisure aside of sitting by the campfire with his comrades. Since there was nothing to hunt on this barren land they had no food but the dry rations they brought with them, and Thor hated it. Of course, he was not dependent on luxury! Often had he stayed on trips where they slept under the stars and ate what the land was providing. But here the land was a closed, icy fist and the snow and the cold and the lack of light slowly got to his nerves.

And now this…

Thor had no possibilities to object when Odin had decided to lead the main army against the forces of Utgard himself. The crown prince knew what was said behind his back by the advisors and generals. Too ‘bloodthirsty and unreasonable’, hot headed and rash’. Old farts! Some situations needed swift and fearless action instead the endless babbling of politicians. 

He had been given the order to sneak into this fortress, quick and quiet, to claim the ancient relic and end the war before it could unleash its horrors onto the golden realm. Well, easier said than done! The inhabitants of this fortress had managed to hold up his small troop long enough to let the casket disappear before he could get his hands on it. Apparently, quick and quiet was not his main talent Thor thought sullenly.

Odin would not be pleased, that much was sure.

Thor stepped down alone. The Einherjar already had left to join the forces in the main hall and the yard, to arrest the remaining Jotun. ‘We should slaughter them all, they are nothing more than beasts!’ he thought to himself, his blood still racing from battle and the hunt for the relique. Every child in Asgard knew the stories of the Jotun and their attempt to conquer Midgard a thousand years ago. And instead of accepting the defeat and keep their ugly heads down, they made plans to challenge Asgard itself!

But bringing the vicious beasts to justice was not an option. As if the insult of being excluded from the main battle had not been enough already, Odin had ordered his most trusted warrior to keep an eye on the campaign here. And Heimdall would not be fond of executing the bound enemy. The leather of Mjolnir’s handle cracked when Thor’s fist tightened. ‘Oh Norns, let one of them try to defy me. Let them try…’

***

The roar of the battle was only a background noise up here in Loki’s chamber. Despite him sitting by the small window he could not see and only hear little of what was happening. And since nobody had cared to inform him either, he had no idea what was going on. Apart from the Aesir raiding the cloister, of course.

The fact that shut from information was nothing new to Loki. Since he had come to this withdrawn place as a adolescent he had been more or less separated from the monks. As a prince of the royal family he was above them in status, but in fact his life was that of a prisoner. Cursed by the taint of magic Laufey had sent him to this place to be out of his eyes. 

A runt  _ and _ a seidr-worker… what a shame.

In his head he went through the cloister architecture, the huge cliff on which it was located, above the ice cold sea. The clatter of armor and ice and the screams still were audible and since this morning not only from the outside of the castle but from the inside too. Even if Loki had not been around a lot he knew what that meant. The intruders lead their attack over the only entrance, a small bridge made of ice and stone and through the front doors. Apparently they had managed to overrun his sire’s men there, since the sounds of battle now came from the inner yard where only the walls of the main hall shielded the Jotun’s most sacred place. In his mind Loki counted the hallways and steps that lead up to his chamber, the smallest and highest in the cloister, only a few steps lower than the platform that everybody called the frozen flame.

The young Jotun’s gaze was fixed to the cold stone that most of his room consisted of, apart from the small bed, the desk littered with books and parchment, and the chair. Nothing of it was sturdy enough to bar the door and hide behind in case somebody was coming for him in the end. He had locked it, but this was more a cosmetically measure than a true shield against the invading force. Nobody had planned this room to become a true refuge. As long as the inhabitant was out of the way it had been enough. 

Not many people came up here.

He folded his hands in his lap to stop them from shaking. The army of the enemy would find him sooner or later and the stories about the Aesir he had heard since he was little did not instill hope in his heart. Cruel they were, not above torturing and maiming prisoners of war. How many Jotun had ended up as slaves after the last battle, forced to do labor in the mountains and produce the shiny metal the Aesir loved so much. What they would do with a runt like Loki, too small and weak to work in the mines, that was not foreseeable. 

He wished he could do more than sit around and wait, join the fight but his sire's orders still stood, even in the times of chaos. He was to stay here, in this chamber, alone and useless. 

But even if he had been allowed to leave his room to help… there was not much that Loki could do. His skills of value in such a situation were only little. He had never been trained to wield any kind of weapon, too hilarious was the idea of a runt like him in a fight. And his connection to Yggdrasil where the strange magic in his blood stemmed from was a curse, not a skill. 

A loud clash from outside the door startled him and he got up from his waiting place. Muffled through the door Loki heard steps on the stairs outside, hurried and fast. He straightened his back and lifted his chin – as if that would make a difference, since all he could do was stand in the middle of the small room with as much bravery as he could muster. But he would await what was coming his way with all the grace a royal child possessed. They would not find a cowed creature but a descendant of Laufey of Jotunheim, even if an abandoned one.

For some time, nothing more happened. Loki’s brow furrowed. Had they taken the treasure from the frozen flame and left, ignoring his chamber in favor of a quick retreat? Was that possible? His heart pounded at the thought of being spared, all his senses tight as a bow string, listening for anything that could indicate what was going on past his door.

The crash nearly startled him to death. It almost smashed his door out of his frame and Loki could barely hold back his yelp when the edge of a mighty axe stuck in the wood. A joyous yell from the outside accompanied the blade disappearing, only to come back above the lock on his door. A mighty blow was needed to crash the wood that had gotten the density of iron over thousands of years, but the Aesir metal cut through it. One more hit and the door would be gone.

Loki swallowed, but lifted his head and straightened his shoulders.

The warrior who had destroyed the door stepped in, a victorious grin between the flood of dark red hair that sprouted from his face and from under his helmet. He looked around, settling the monstrous axe on his own shoulder.

Loki, holding onto his calm façade with clenched teeth, remained where he was, in the middle of the small, round chamber, his eyes fixed onto the intruder. He knew he appeared unthreatening, devoid of any weapon and his hands clasped together before himself.

His presence made the Aesir pause a moment. Loki could hardly make out his expression since there was so much hair below the helmet, and the body was covered in armor and thick fur. The sight of those was strange to Loki, was he only used to bald, hairless features and people clad in loincloths. The only mane he knew was the one that he saw when he looked into polished ice, but Aesir seemed to have a lot of hair and pink or red skin and a lot of clothes to shield them from the cold.

Before one of them could react however, the Aesir was shoved deeper into the room by a smaller man with less hair growing on his face.

“Found something, Volstagg?” he shouted and his eyes lit up when they landed on Loki. The Jotun lifted his chin even higher and tried to mask the shiver that ran through him with a slow blink when the second Aesir stepped closer with a grin.

“Look what we got here. I thought the old hag was hiding some treasures up here.” He grinned over his shoulder to the red haired. “Seems as if I was right!” The Aesir was in front of Loki now, and as tall as he was, which meant that the Jotun for the first time stood with another adult on eye level. Loki clasped his hands tighter to prevent the intruders of noticing that they were trembling slightly. His gaze however, was cold.

“Oh, this one’s special huh? Not so hideous in his appearance…” the blonde man purred and looked Loki up and down like a merchant would do with a fine snow cattle that he intended to buy. “Wonder why you’re locked up here, beauty.”

Loki did not answer. His eyes darted between the blonde man and the red haired back and forth while he fought to not step back. The air became more and more charged in the small chamber; the attack could only be seconds away. Who would strike first? The red haired with his axe or the blonde. He still had not drawn his rapier but Loki could see the still fresh Jotun blood on the blade. The pounding of blood in his ears droned out their voices while he felt Yggdrasil's powers gather inside him like steam in a heated barrel.

“Don’t you have a voice?” blonde asked, close to Loki now. He smiled but something about it was unsettling.

“There is nothing of interest here, Fandral. No riches, nothing!” the other man roused and kicked against the bed.

The blonde’s smile turned lecherous. “I found something…” he murmured and his finger found Loki’s chest, stroking down. 

***

Thor was halfway down the small staircase that lead to the highest floor under the platform when he heard low voices. He identified Fandral and then Volstagg’s baritone, audible even through walls of stone and ice. Maybe they had found anything, but he doubted it.

Before he reached the open doorway to ask, however, the tower was shaken as if a giant fist had smashed against his walls. Thor could barely grab the wall to not stumble down the last of the steps, the scream of his friends ringing in his ear.

A dark blue shadow darted out of the open chamber door before him. Thor caught sight of red eyes, huge with terror and black hair, wafting like a banner when the figure flit down the stairs on bare feet.

His head still ringing he took a quick glance into the room, only to find Volstagg and Fandral on the floor, disoriented but alive. No blood was to be seen but Volstagg moaned. He had been smashed against the wall and his axe stuck in between the stones. Fandral moved too, holding his head.

“Blasted…” he gasped and that was enough for the prince of Asgard.

Thor roared when he turned to run after the fleeting Jotun witch who dared to attack his closest friends. His blood sag in the same tune as Mjolnir when he chased down the stairs.

There it was, running down a hallway on naked feet, hair and loincloth moving with his hasty steps. Thor threw his hammer, aiming for the head but the small beast was swift and ducked through a doorframe, shielding themself against the splinters that the hammer let rain down on them.

Thor cursed and called Mjolnir back, running past the fleeting jotun.

***

Loki ran as fast as his naked feet could carry him, the roaring aesir beast close behind. He managed to dodge the flying weapon a second time, trying to keep pillars and door frames between himself and the attacks. His left foot bled, he must have stepped into a  sharp-edged shard, but he did barely feel it, too much adrenaline coursed through his veins. This warrior was about to smash his head if he got to him, that much was for certain.

Loki flew down the last stairs to the main hall and out of instinct dodged an armored figure in his way, flowing around him like water and jumping over the bound form of a Jotun. The part of his brain that was not occupied with fleeing registered that they brought the surviving warriors and monks inside the hall, bound and wounded they were rounded up like cattle.

Only the momentum of surprise that made it possible to slip past the captives and their guards, leaving shouting and clanking weapons behind him. In this crowded area the berserker at his heel could not throw the hammer at him and Loki intended to keep it that way. If managed to reach the yard he could try to jump into the stream that led to the sea. It was risky, but the only choice to not be brought to a cruel death right here at the foot of the cloister. If he could just dodge the hammer a little longer!

Loki burst out of the great hall and into the yard to run as fast as he could. Only a few of the enemies’ soldiers remained here, most of them limping and slow, not in the capability to catch him. His heart was about explode at all this unfamiliar exercise when he dashed down the broad dais, ignoring the thick and heavy clouds above his head, trying to mobilize the last of his reserves to reach the bridge. He heard the triumphant roar of the berserk behind his back, but he could not spare a thought on that. He could see the bridge, the destroyed gate and hear the sound of the water. Only a few steps…

Loki was hit and thrown if his feet by a blinding light of inexorable force. He barely processed how his body smashed to the ground. And then there was only pain.

***

Thor slowed down and took the dais in front of the fortress with ease, strolling into the yard. He flipped Mjolnir in his hand, feeling the rush of satisfaction at the sight of the fallen Jotun witch. It laid in a crater that the lightning bolt had left behind, billows of smoke rising from the body. A grin spread over Thor’s face. This Jotun would not run away any longer. Maybe the creature was even responsible for the missing casket! Why would he have fled like mad if not?

The lightning bolt had met it square on and struck it to the ground. When Thor neared with relaxed steppes he saw that the small figure was still trying to move, but unable to accomplish. The stench of blistering flesh and scorched hair hung in the air and in the sudden silence after the thunder bolt only the low moaning was to be heard. The Jotun was not dead.

Not yet.

The remaining soldiers neared slowly, appearing cautious of their crown prince and the poor sod who had garnered the wrath of the thunder god.

Thor looked down onto the Jotun on the ground, who was unusually small. A child? But no child could floor two of Agard’s mightiest heroes. No, this was no child, this was a dangerous witch and was to be dealt with accordingly.

Thor’s foot sent the creature to its back to have a look at the face.

Despite of have being hit by a lightning bolt, the Jotun tried to regain control over the weak limbs and crawl backwards, away from him. Thor smirked when he sat his hammer on the narrow chest, pinning the beast to the ground.

“You dared to lure my closest friends into a trap to attack them from behind!” He declared. The clouds above him rumbled and massed together, bright lights dancing between them. “You will not die as a warrior then, but as the treacherous beast you proven yourself to be.” He lifted his hand and the thunder rolled over the cloister, ready to unload his powers into Mjolnir and into the helpless target underneath.

“Know that your defeat was brought onto you by Thor, the son of Odin, from Asgard!”

But before he could unleash the powers of the skies and make true of his word, a soft but strong hand gripped his wrist and a calm voice stemming.

“I don’t think so.” Heimdall said.


	2. A proud prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki meet again and it's not going well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Racist language and preconceptions on both sides. A bit of violence and heavy threats. Proceed with care :)

Thor smashed his hammer into the nearest target, turning it to a pile of splinters and shards. He was training in the inner yard of the fortress, close to the chambers they had claimed as quarters for the time being. 

Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun watched him, the former two still a bit dizzy from their encounter with the witch. The same jotun who was currently resting in one of the rooms Thor had claimed, separated from the other captives, like Heimdall had suggested. The gatekeeper had left to bring a message on the way to the Allfather to inform him of the developments, which left Thor to deal with his still simmering anger without the chance to deal it onto a jotun head. 

"I think it looks better this way." Sif said while strolling over and nodded with her lips pursed. The pile of shards had been one of the huge statues beside the entrance, ugly and made of ice. Now, after some well aimed throws with mjolnir it was just a pile of frozen rubble. 

Thor sneered but stopped his doing and turned around. The battle had been unsatisfactory and the prospect to sit on this forsaken place and wait for his father's messenger made his skin crawl. His friends, well aware of the prince's temper said nothing when he turned and paced a few steps, trying to decide what to do next. 

“I hate to sit around and do nothing! We should turn the whole place into shards to find this blasted relic” Thor muttered, crossing his arms. He noted that Fandral's eyes laid on the small window that led to Thor’s chamber. He looked thoughtful.

“Maybe the witch knows where to look for the casket. The chambers were close to the location where it had been stored, no?” The dandy soldier extended his arms. “I could go and ask him.” 

Sif snorted at him. “I know exactly what you have in mind doing with him.” 

Fandral answered with a playful bow. "You know… I pride myself with the fact that I bedded every race in the realms." 

Volstagg's booming laughter interrupted all Thor might have answered to this - he suspected Fandral not to be serious. One could never know with the notorious seduce but Thor doubted that he would dirty his hands with a jotun. No matter how small or subjectively pleasant. 

“Keep up your training. We do not know if we’ll be under attack soon. I’ll go and see how the reinforcements are proceeding.” With that he left his friends and entered the fortress.

Thor walked through the enormous cavern-like hallways. The ice was opaque but still let the gloomy light of Jotunheim in. In this realm it was always cloudy, but the snow and ice everywhere constantly reflected what little light there was and thus never truly dark, even at night. All of this world was a dark greyish blue: the landscape, the buildings, even the people. 

Thor reached the hallways that led to the main hall. He walked past the guards who kept an eye on the jotun prisoners. Thor’s eyes roamed over the group of bound enemies. Nobody wore more than a loincloth, some made of fabric, some of metal plates or slender chains. All weapons had consisted of ice, formed by the hands and the natural seidr that every jotun bound to the power of Ymir. 

Most of the captured giants had fought like oversized children, raw power but no skill, and they had surrendered when the Aesir had decimated the ones in the front lines. Maybe they were civilians. It was hard to tell with these giants. 

He shook his head while he walked past the prisoners. If civilians or warriors, it made no difference. Jotun where all the same. 

Beasts. 

He found the commander of the guard, a woman who straightened her shoulders in front of her prince and reported on how the securing of the fortress went. The doors were in repair and the guard on duty. There was not much to do for him here. 

His eyes wandered to the smaller hallway that led to the rooms he and his his friends had claimed. They were not so enormous and had only small windows, easier to defend and closer to the feeling of being in a room, not a wide hall. 

He contemplated if the Jotun witch was awake by now. As soon as possible Thor would subject him to a thorough hearing. Even Heimdall suspected the small Jotun to be special somehow, thus he had stopped Thor from executing him on the spot. 

His mind however, mulled over what Fandral had said. Maybe the Jotun witch knew something about the casket. He had hidden in a chamber close to the plattform and he possessed strong magical abilities. If somebody knew of the missing casket and where to look for it, it was him. 

Thor rounded the corner to the hallway that lead to the makeshift cell where they had imprisoned the witch, but to his surprise he found that he was not the only one about to visit. 

Fandral was discussing with the soldier who guarded the door in a urgent way, gesturing, but keeping his voice quiet. The guard seemed uncomfortable and his eyes widened when Thor closed the distance. 

"What is going on?" the crown prince asked and startled Fandral with it. He turned around and his trademark grin appeared.

“My prince. I was on my way to the prisoner.” Fandral bowed lightly. “To interrogate.”

Thor crossed his arms. “Is that so?” He send the guard away with a quick nod towards the hall and the man fled.

“Well… maybe I intended more of the interracial interaction. You know, international understanding and so on.” Fandral grinned and lifted his eyebrows. "I bet he will tell me all he knows when I have him wrapped around my finger."

Thor watched him, baffled, but then rolled his eyes in disgust. "You can't be serious…" 

"Why not…?" Fandral whined. "This is my chance. This one is not as hideous as the average giant. And much smaller. I won't even need a ladder!" 

"Height might not be your most pressing concern if I recall how you ended up the last time." Thor replied with a mocking tone but that did not shake Fandral’s good spirit. His friend leaned closer. 

"Think about it, Thor. Have you seen how little the giants wear? I bet they are all natural and open when it comes to these activities. I encounters a group of amazon's ones and I tell you…" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Thor snorted, but did not give him the grace of an answer. He shoved Fandral aside to open the door.

"You are incurable. Now get out of my way. I’ll do the interrogation. You can wait for Heimdall to come back.”

His friend knew when the jig was up so he only sighed and toddled off. Thor watched him go and then turned to the cell again, shaking his head. 

_ *** _

Loki felt dizzy and disoriented, his vision blurry whenever he opened his eyes. He tried to catch any sounds outside the room he was laying in, but there was only quiet and his own breathing. The soft blue of the ice walls indicated that it was afternoon but else he could only make out little. 

What had happened? He recalled the raid of the cloister and that his chamber had been under attack. And then a blonde asgardian who chased him down the stairs, bloodthirst dripping of him. Loki had run as fast as his untrained body had allowed, but apparently he hadn't made it. 

Slowly he tried to sit up and suppressed a moan. His whole body hurt as if he had been smashed with a giant fist. His side and back felt sore, his skin raw, despite the usual quick healing of his body. What had happened to him?

A soft cling made him pause and then he became aware of the shackles. His hands were bound in front of him with heavy chains. His confused eyes focused on them and he tried to make out the runes that covered the metal. 

Slowly awareness rose in him what was different. He had no access to his magic! With a jolt he was awake as if somebody had emptied a bucket of hot water over him. It felt as if he had blindfolds on but the eye that was blinded was the one he used to see the energy of the realms and the branches of the world’s tree. 

Loki gasped in panic, but then he found the well inside himself. It was there, full and flowing like always, but somehow cut of from the branches around him. It was as if not him, but the world was devoid of magic and thus he had no way to channel his own into the reality. Not like being blind, but the surrounding blackened and emptied. As if he was normally walking freely on solid ground, but now falling down an endless pit. 

It was a horrifying sensation and he felt his heart pound in his chest. Hot sweat ran down his temple while he tried to fight the nausea that crawled up his throat. 

He looked around. Somebody had dropped him on a pelt on the floor, other furs beside him, next to pillows and fabrics he could not identify. The fact that he had been placed on a makeshift bed of furs and pillows made him uneasy after the events in his chamber. He recalled the rising panic when the two aesir had approached. And then one of them had touched him in a highly inappropriate way. Loki shuddered when he thought about that. Ymir knew what would have happened. His powers had unleashed with purpose, that much was sure. 

Loki looked around. It seemed as if somebody had unloaded provisions in this room in a hurry to find a place for them. Maybe he could find something to get rid of the shackles and flee.

Before Loki however, could gather enough strength to put his will into action he heard footsteps and then talking from the outside. Somebody was on the way to him! The young Jotun braced himself for what was to come and straightened his posture as much as possible on wobbly legs.

***

Thor entered the chamber and found the witch standing on his feet, the bound hands in front of his lap. Thor’s brow furrowed when despite the weakness the creature regarded him with a cool look.

“You are awake.” he said and stepped closer, aware that his threatening figure was enhanced by the heavy furs he wore over his armor. Strong warriors had cowed in front of the crown prince of Asgard.

But the Jotun only looked more defiantly. From up this close he definetly looked male, the face and features above the loincloth that of a young man, but slender and graceful as a maiden. Didn’t somebody say something about Jotun being both and neither? Well, it did not matter.

Thor regarded the witch up and down and took in the long raven hair and the flimsy clothes that Jotuns called appropriate attire. There was not a single piece of jewelry, nothing adorning the wrists, neck, or ankles. In Asgard even the cook maids wore finer things. But something about the creature was fascinating. Even though the jotun stepped back, he lifted his chin, as if he dared Thor to come closer. The red eyes were strange to look at, as the lines on his face and the deep blue lips. Violet patterns on his skin showed where he was healing from the lightning bolt but he showed no sign of pain. 

Even if he tried to ignore it, Thor could see what Fandral meant. This one was different to the giants they had encountered so far. Smaller, almost delicate. Aside from the heritage lines his features could be the one of an aesir. Maybe he was a bastard. But who would impregnate a Jotun? 

Thor swiped these unnecessary thoughts away with a impatien gesture. “Where is the relic you hide in this fortress?” he asked, now that he was close to the Jotun. 

All he earned was a look that held contempt. Thor grit his teeth and felt his limited patience dwindle rapidly. How dared he? A lowly prisoner, entirely at the mercy of his captures? And still this creature dared to defy him again! The prince’s fingers twitched, wanting to form a fist and smash that arrogance to pieces. 

“You refuse?!” Thor barked but elicited no reaction either, aside from a frown. Thunder rolled over the sea to the fortress and the air charged with electricity. 

Thor’s hand snapped forward and closed around the slender throat, pressing the Jotun against the wall. That finally earned him a flinch, but still the other made no sound. 

“Don’t think I’m averse to turn your existence into a living hell in order to get the information I need.” he hissed and relished the cracks in the Jotun’s calm facade. Now that he was so close he could see the small signs of fear, the slight twitch of the eyelids, heavy with dark lashes and the tremble in the creature's hands. He felt the racing pulse under his thumb, felt how the throat worked to swallow the rising panic. He had the Jotun in his hand. These red eyes, that appeared so foreign, gazed up at him. Thor could see no pleading there. Even if there was fear, the creature was not surrendering. 

Different urges surged in the crown prince and confusion made itself known at the demands rising inside himself. Why was the skin not cold to touch? He closed the distance to the strange creature before him, watching him struggle in Thor’s relentless grip. Why was the Jotun not giving up his defiance in the face of the superior enemy? Thor was so close he could almost feel the cool touch of the witch’s breath on his skin. The red eyes grew smaller while the blue lips opened, gasping for air.

So tempting...

“Lord Baldur.” 

Thor stopped at the call of his code name. Another of Heimdall’s security measures, to not announce to the enemy that the only prince of Asgard walked around with as much as no escort. He turned his head over his shoulder.

“What?”

Hogun stood by the door, his posture more that of a soldier conveying a message than one of Thor’s brothers in arms. There laid a unspoken rebuke in it that brought Thor back to his senses. With a jolt he noted how close he was to the jotun. Had he been bewitched?! With effort he released him and let him slide down the wall. The witch took a shuddering breath. 

“Yes?” Thor turned to his friend, making an effort to mask the confusing turmoil inside himself with the practiced conduct of a prince and leader. “What is it?”

“Heimdall, my lord. He is back and requests your presence.”

Thor’s mouth twitched in annoyance. “Of course.” he passed Hogun but then took a last glance over his shoulder. “Keep an eye on the captive.” he said with his eyes on the Jotun who glared at him, his hand on his throat. “He might attempt to flee.”

His cape swooshing behind him Thor marched out of the room without another look.

***

Loki touched his throat with trembling fingers. With effort he managed to straighten up and turn away from the guard, desperately trying to maintain his unimpressed facade. 

Probably it was futile, were his hands still shaking and his mouth gasping for air. He could not even calm his racing heart, no matter how hard he told himself that it was over for now. But he could prevent the aesir from seeing his face, his tear filled eyes and trembling lips. 

Loki’s eyes laid on the shackles and he pressed his lips together with a frown, a tedious attempt to regain his balance. Despite his life being in grave danger, he had not been able to call his magic. The sensation was horrific, like being used to a security net, that now was taken away. 

Loki recalled the moment he had defended himself against the intruders in his chamber. His magic had leashed out to save him. Like during his childhood it had happened completely out of his control. Loki remembered how it had hit Byleistr when they were littles. His brother who had tormented him for hours on end finally pressed on Loki’s smaller body with a huge pillow - a game of dominance he played with his other siblings too. But Loki was too weak and small to free himself and the pressure had become unbearable, he had gotten no air! And then…

Byleistr had spent the next days in the care of the healers and king Laufey, shocked down to the bone, had grounded Loki for weeks. Even if the relationship never had been one of great warmth, after that event Loki had found himself separated and avoided by his family and the court. He was branded a freak of nature, dissociated from Ymir’s lap. Fitting for a hairy runt. Not long after he had been brought to the cloister.

Anyway. 

He had never heard of magic dampening bonds. A security measure? Apparently the aesir had no idea that he could not even lit a candle with his powers, let alone use them to flee or fight. 

Loki's neck hurt where the brute had grabbed him. Would he have strangled Loki if the guard had not interrupted? Or tortured him with another shot of lightning? It mattered not, the aesir had been clear in his threats. Loki would suffer from his hand as soon as he was back. He could not expect to be treated with mercy, was he suspected to know of the whereabouts of the casket. 

Loki bit his lip. The casket was gone! Somebody must have caught wind of the attack early enough and brought the relic to safety. He remembered that his sire had been adamant that loki was to stay close to it, why had he not been taken away either? Maybe there had been not time or capacity. Maybe… 

Loki slowly walked over to stand by the window, even if he felt as if he could crumble to the floor at any given moment. He felt so weak, devoid of his magical energy and still healing from the attack on the yard and the last ambush. His throat throbbed where the Aesir brute had grabbed him. He still could feel the thumb pressing down, directly over his arteria, constricting the blood flow. He swallowed. What this Aesir had in store for him next he did not want to know. His eyes, cold and blue like a glacier had send shivers down Loki’s back. 

Despite that he wanted and needed to rest, he would not suffer the ignominy to sit down in front of the enemy. The guard who had informed the brute of the arrival of another aesir still stood by the door. First Loki had suspected to be harrassed by him too, but the man had done nothing, simply blocked the door, standing a couple of feet away from him. He felt his gaze.

Slowly Loki’s heartbeat had abated, but of course under these circumstances he could not relax and catch a breath. So he held himself together, gritting his teeth, a frozen statue on the outside, no matter what went on behind the surface. It was one of the skills he had learned over the centuries as a runt on his father’s court. If to suffer indignities without showing a sign of discomfort or any reaction at all had been a sport Loki would possess a bunch of medals. And he would not crumble in front of the enemy. Despite everything, Loki lifted his chin higher. 

He would not surrender.

Proud and without fear he would meet his tormented on eye level - literally - and not waver, no matter how fierce the torture. They would not break a proud jotun. But during the process the aesir would show their true colors, Loki thought with grim satisfaction. At the end of the day all the realms would know that the golden people were nothing more than beasts! 

Internally he shook his head. He was Laufeys child, no matter what. His people would not have subjected him to the hands of the enemy if they could prevent it. The raid just had been too swift to get him to safety. And now Loki had to act accordingly. 

***

“He is  _ what _ !?” Thor gawked at the gatekeeper as if he had told him he had seen a flying bilgesnipe.

“Laufey’s third son. A prince of the crown. I wondered when I saw him, since there are not many Jotun with his appearance.” Heimdall chided softly, implying that Thor could have known that too, if he had bothered with learning about the enemy before riding into war.

Volstagg behind him shifted his weight from one feet to the other. He had accompanied Thor to meet with the gatekeeper and now his eyes wandered to Thor with expectation.

“And that means what? That we hand him over? Just like that?” the crown prince groused, crossing his arms. That was not an idea that sat right with him.

“No.” General Tyr touched his beard in thinking. “Your father decided that we keep him in custody until word had reached Laufey that the cloister has fallen. Having one of his sons in hand could influence the negotiations.”

“Negotiations?! I thought we came to get rid of this bunch of beasts once and for all!”

Heimdall’s eyebrows rose at that statement but it was Tyr again who spoke up, his voice fed up already. “Did it occur to you that genocide on an entire race is never a good idea?” he asked with a cutting tone. Fortunately he was Thor’s uncle and could get away with such. “Aside from that it never works. It’s not something that the other realms want us to do. And we don’t want them to join forces out of fear to be the next!”

Thor’s ears grew red but his face stayed closed off. He grumped that he did not care about the opinion of the other realms and walked a few steps. That’s why he hated politics. It was always like that. Not like a good clean fight where one was the winner and the other the looser, problem solved. No, when politics came into the picture it always grew complicated. The Jotun had attacked Midgard shortly after Thor’s birth and now, just a thousand years later, they planned war on Asgard. And reckless they were. He thought on the witch - the  _ prince  _ \- and his quiet defiance. Unable to learn his place.

“His majesty decided that we keep an eye on Laufey’s son but else handle him as a guest.” Heimdall continued but was interrupted by Thor’s laughter. 

The crown prince turned to him with a nasty grin.

“Too late for that, I’d say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That did not go so well...


	3. Negotiations For Peace

Loki expectations of being interrogated further were disappointed. 

Nobody came to see him until a young soldier stepped in with water and a cold dish. A woman in armor accompanied him an took place of the former guard. Loki knew from his readings that aesir divided in two genders and held this division in high regard. He could spot the small differences between her and the other guards because he had seen pictures. She shared however, their sentiment towards him, eying Loki in a slightly suspicious way but keeping her distance.

“Is this going to be my last slap-up meal?” Loki asked, aiming for a sarcastic tone but she simply regarded him with a cold look and did not answer. Finally he sat down on the furs to eat and replenish his energies. The food came from the cloisters own stock and was thus edible.

Loki’s mind raced with questions on what the aesir planned with him. It made no sense to feed him when he was to be executed. An interrogation also was bound to be more successful when he was starved. Somehow the atmosphere of his captivity had changed from open hostility to careful distance and he was not sure if that was a good thing or not. Nobody addressed his situation however, and Loki was way too proud to ask more. 

The night fell over Jotunheim and the female guard also was replaced. A big, red haired aesir stepped in and Loki recognized him in an instant. He got to his feet immediately. With wide eyes he watched the guard exchange a few quiet words with the woman before she turned to leave. 

Was this the moment he had dreaded? He could not keep the aesir apart very good but this one he recognized as one of the intruders in his chamber. Was he about to make Loki pay for the attack? The Jotun retreated carefully a few steps, knowing that he had nowhere to go and nothing to defend himself. The encounter with the blonde berserk had shown that pretty clearly. Despite his helplessness Loki balled his fists. 

But when the man turned to him his face showed no sign of anger or grim satisfaction. Instead, he stopped short when he saw Loki’s defensive posture and lifted his hands in a gesture of peace.

“I intend no harm, your majesty. I merely come to stand watch.” 

Loki relaxed slowly. This was surprising, but not unwelcome. The usage of his title made clear that it had become known who he was. No wonder there was always a guard inside his cell, not giving him a moment alone to plan his flight. He straightened his shoulders a bit and lifted his chin. If the aesir knew that he was Laufey’s child he had to act accordingly. Not a single person should witness an offspring of the royal line crumbling and cowering. 

The red haired guard stayed by the door, as the woman had before and Loki regarded him carefully. The fact that he was seen as royalty might shield him from imminent danger and grant him some privileges. He slowly stepped back to the furs and sat down, still keeping an eye on the new guard.

“What will happen to me?” he asked, his voice even.

“I do not know of that. Prince Thor will tell you tomorrow.” The man’s face twitched and he clapped his mouth shut as if he had said too much.

Loki nodded at that. Prince Thor… Even a runt who had been living in a sealed off place for half his live knew this name. The golden son of Asgard. He was here, on Jotunheim? Maybe Loki was able to talk to the crown prince and let him see reason. Maybe he could keep his soldiers in check and prevent them from torturing their captives. 

Loki dared not to rise his hopes on that too much, but the fact that the guard treated him with the basic honorifics was at least a little promising. 

He decided to call it a night. Whatever was planned for him would happen and he could also meet it with a refreshed mind. He curled into himself on the soft pelt and closed his eyes. 

***

“How should I have known that he is a prince. He does not wear any kind of jewelry and he hid in this gloomy chamber up there, not much better than a servants quarter!” Fandral groused and sat down his mead cup with a thud. They sprawled around a campfire in the inner yard, warming their frozen limbs and sharing a barrel of Asgard’s finest that Volstagg had acquired somehow. He would not be happy when he would find it empty later, but that was something the small group was willing to face. 

“His attitude is that of a prince, that much is sure.” Hogun argued but a hot glare of his own prince made him shut up. 

“I wonder why he is here in this godforsaken place…” Fandral mused, rubbing his beard. “If he is a bastard son? Or fallen from grace?”

“Who cares? He is of royal blood and he might know of the relic.” Thor gave back, looking into his cup with his eyebrows drawn together.

"And he is a sorcerer. This was not Ymir's power he wielded against you and Volstagg, I tell you. Maybe it is something even more twisted and sinister."

The group fell silent for a few moments. Magic was rare on Asgard and even the other realms knew only a few true sorcerers. Of course, almost everybody was bound to the energy that Yggdrasil poured into their worlds and in some it grew to certain shapes. Thor himself was pervaded by thunder and lightning, and the energy of the skies. But that was like another limb, to strike with it came as natural to him as wielding his hammer. To bend the worlds tree's energy itself with spells and gestures, to turn it into any desired form… that was strange and kind of shady. Except the Allmother did it of course.

“More pressing is for how long will we be forced to sit on this frozen rock of a world." Fandral sighed, refilling his cup. "It felt like aeons since snuggled up to a fair maiden for warmth.” 

“As if snuggling is what you seek.” Sif gave back and Fandral snickered. 

But he was right. The campaign went on for weeks without end, with no chance to let off some steam or think about something else than this barren wasteland. Thor shook his head. Maybe it was time to end this war and go home. 

“If the Jotun can not be defeated once and for all, how to ensure that peace remains even after we take our leave?” he mumbled into his drink, his brow furrowed. How to prevent that the giants unleashed their frozen powers on other realms again, especially since the casket was still in their hands.

“I heard Laufey has been severely wounded.” Sif said. “His eldest son Byleistr rules in his place for the time being. I bet as soon as Utgard is defeated the Jotun are weakened enough and the crown prince willing to accept terms of surrender.”

“For how long, that is the question!” Thor groused before he emptied his cup. The mead warmed his insides but did not calm his troubled mind. A stubborn race they were, unyielding and rigid. Red eyes came rose on his mind, defiant and not willing to show submission. 

***

Cheers and jubilation rose in the aesir camp - the war was over. After months of campaigns and fighting in the cold wasteland of Jotunheim, Utgard had fallen. 

Three days later Odin’s entourage arrived at the fortress. His father in his golden harness and with the white hair shone like the sun in the barren wasteland while they neared the fortress. 

He was accompanied by two giants who looked more different than the ones Thor had seen so far. They wore headdresses made from horn and other baubles and rings on their massive upper arms. Despite these so called jewels the clothes consisted only of a loincloth. It was freezing to just look at them, walking through the snow on bare feet.

One of them was the oldest giant Thor had ever seen, the back bent over a walking stick and the black fingernails resembling claws. With disdain he watched how the jotun walked next to Odin as if they were equals. 

Thor’s cape billowed in the harsh wind when he stepped down from the wall among the battlements to welcome his father with the due respect. Sunken to one knee he awaited him in the middle of the yard. 

Odin greeted him with a tired smile and the prince rose before the jotung delegation followed on at Odin’s heel - he would not kneel in front of a frost giant, that much was sure! Odin seemed to not notice the hostile glare his son send the way of the negotiator and placed a hand on Thor’s back while they walked to the entrance of the fortress.

“My son. It is done, the war is over.” 

“I heard from your success in Utgard, Father. You defeated Laufey’s troops and gained the city for Asgard.” Thor forced a smile on his face. He could barely hold back the questions about what would become of the casket, even if he felt relieved that his failure did not seem to bother the Allfather that much.

“Indeed. The Jotun surrendered and we even negotiated the peace treaty. In a few days we all will be feasting in the golden city and drink on the victory.”

“But Father…”

“Let me introduce you to the jotun negotiator. Angrboda is the king’s cousin and great uncle to prince Byleistr. The oldest child is to be crowned king as soon as Laufey is stable enough to abdicate.” The old jotun came closer and bowed his head. 

“Greetings prince Thor.” The voice of the old Jotun sounded like ice scraping over stone. “I wish to see the prisoners before we begin our talk.”

Thor’s eyes widened and thunder rolled in the far distance. How dared the speaker of the defeated enemy to so much as utter a wish, let alone expected it to be granted. Thor grit his teeth but Odin only smiled. 

“Good. And get word out that we are here. And I wish for a hot cup of mead.”

Before Thor could say anything however, Heimdall stepped forward.

“My king. I will lead the way.” All Thor could do was gape at the gate keeper. Heimdall obviously knew something that he did not! The dark clouds above the fortress densified, lightning spreading between them.

***

Loki had waited in vain for the asgardian prince to show up and inform him on what was going to happen and he was too proud to debase himself by asking his jailers. So he waited with as much grace as he could muster and ate what he was given. His wounds slowly healed. Without the shackles he would have re-established his usual condition in no time, but without Yggdrasil’s powers it was a slow process.

Even if he was used to being alone in a small chamber with little to occupy his time it was not easy to endure the captivity. In opposite to his usual lifestyle he had no books or parchment to flee into the real in his mind and his magic was bound too, so he could not explore it. He tried to not fret but his ears perked up at every sound to help him figure out what was going on. 

After two days of dull imprisonment he became cognizant of cheers from the outside. Apparently the aesir had reason to celebrate. Loki sighed. The war was lost then. Hopefully the losses were not too great. What the victors would do now that they subjugated Jotunheim again was nothing he wanted to think about.

A few more days not much happened but then a guest was led his way.

Loki’s eyes widened when Angrboda stepped into the chamber, the huge figure filling the frame of the door, even when he was bend over his walking stick. Loki had not expected to see his sire’s cousin, but he swallowed his surprise and bowed like he had been educated to do before older family members. 

“My child…” the old jotun rasped and stepped closer. His hand found Loki’s head and caressed his hair. “I’m glad to see you treated well.”

Loki nodded. No traces of the mistreatment he had suffered in the beginning were left. Only the shackles that pressed down on his magic burdened him, but he would not reveal that.

“Uncle, I’m glad to see you well too.” he answered, waiting politely for the other to continue, even if he wanted to shake him to get as much answers as possible. He would not, however, suffer the ignominy to reveal his hunger for information to the aesir who stood still watch. He could suck it up a bit more if necessary. More important was to maintain the facade, to make his sire proud. If Laufey was still alive, that was.

Angrboda rested his massive body on a board, regarding Loki with his dark red eyes. He sighed.

“I am here on behalf of your sibling Byleistr. He is to rule in Laufey’s place.”

“Sire is…” Loki gasped and intertwined his fingers. The shackles made a quiet sound when they bumped together. He may not be the most cherished of Laufey's children but the thought of his sire's death was not a welcome one. 

“No, he is alive. But wounded and not able to rule. And the aesir demanded his retreat from the throne as part of their conditions.” 

That made clear that the war had been lost and Jotunheim defeated. Loki lowered his head.

“Indeed, my child. These are harsh times. But the aesir king seeks peace, not revenge. Byleistr is willing to ensure that the treaty is strong and durable."

Loki looked into his great uncle’s eyes and felt a hot shiver run down his spine. Something in Angrboda’s words or the way they were spoken made his skin crawl and instilled the wish to hide. There was much that was not talked about and with the aesir guard close by Loki could not ask. But even if… would he have been given answers? 

His uncle continued. "Byleistr agreed to forge a convention that ensures peace between the realms.”

"And how is he going to do that?” he asked and the way his uncle pressed his dark blue lips together bode nothing well.

***

“ A marriage?!” 

Thor gaped at his father as if he had proposed to espouse a bilgesnipe. This must be some cruel joke. Nobody could expect the only son of the royal pair of Asgard to marry a jotun!

Odin’s face however, turned to stone.

“Indeed. A marriage. Between our realm and the frost giants land.” His single eye laid unblinking on Thor who did his best not to squirm like an adolescent. This look still went through him like a hot knife through butter. He furrowed his brow and held the steely gaze.

“You can’t be serious!” Thor’s voice was quiet. He had passed the stage of shouting out loud and reached the calm center of the typhoon. His father had gone mad. There was no other explanation for it.

Odin however simply leaned back and took a sip of his drink.

“That I am. The wedding should be held as soon as possible.”

“I will not marry a beast!” Thor started, turning around to face the Allfather. "Before I subjugate myself under such a fate I will slay each and every jotun in a fair fight!" 

The thunder that had lurked around on the horizon all day grew more prominent with each minute. Thick clouds dimmed the gloomy light even more.

But Thor was not only by title Odin’s son. The older man got to his feet when his patience dwindled rapidly. Thor was taller and broader by now, but that did not change the fact that Odin was an awe-inspiring figure who had commanded his son all his life.

"Do you realize what you say? What you are willing to start?"

"I will protect my throne!" 

"You cannot even defend your friends! How can you hope to protect the kingdom?" 

Thor felt heat in his cheeks at that. How did Odin hear of the attack against Fandral and Volstagg? But he would not back away! 

"There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act! The Jotuns must fear me, just as they once feared you!" 

"Have you forgotten everything I taught you? A warrior is patient!"

"While you wait and be patient, the Nine Worlds laugh at us! The old ways are done, yet you stand and plot marriages while Asgard falls!" 

"You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy! And you wonder why I did not let you lead the campaign?!" 

Thor started to burn with shame and anger alike but he was too enraged to listen to any kind of common sense anymore. Lightning crashed into the snow outside the fortress. Thor pointed at Odin. 

"You are an old man and a fool!" 

But the Allfather did not come at him. He did not even shout any longer. Instead his shoulders slumped and he looked tired and as old as Thor had declared him. 

"Yes... I was a fool, to think you were ready." he said, shaking his head.

Thor let his hand sink and stared at his father who was for once not the almighty king, but just a man with a big burden. A burden that was his son. Thor knew that he never could expect to meet the high standards his father set for him but it had never been this obvious. For the first time Thor felt clearly how disappointed he was. 

It stung.

Shame and regret piled on his shoulders and made him lower his head in front of his father and king. 

Odin straightened a bit before he sat down again. His voice was calm now.

“You will do what is best for Asgard.” 

***

Loki felt faint.

He stood close to Angrboda who accompanied him to the first meeting with the allfather. The old Jotun had done his best to arrange a bathing and new clothes for Loki, but it could not be helped. There was no headband of horn and no jewelry made from Moskus bones or lapislazuli. The cloister only had supplies for monks and thus not much luxuries for the prince to be adorned with. He would meet his soon-to-be husband in the available condition. 

It suited him just fine if he was honest. He would go covered in Ulv blood if it could prevent what was going to happen. The thought to be married to one of Odin’s children held nothing but disgust and the vague feeling that he would be more of a thrall than a spouse. 

None of that however was visible on the outside. He had been educated to be a proud member of the royal family and nothing would make him embarrass himself or his ancestors.

Slowly Loki's steps led him to the yard where he would meet the Allfather and his son for the first time. 

Loki stopped dead. His eyes widened when he faced the powerful king of Asgard. Beside him stood nobody else than the berserk he had encountered before. His head shoot around but he could see nobody else that held the position of a crown prince. 

“You… are prince Thor?!” he choked out and for once his feelings must be more than prominent on his face since both, Odin and Thor, looked sour. 

“Indeed. That I am.”


	4. Coming to Asgard

The preparations were swift. Apparently everything had been negotiated before Angrboda came to speak to Loki. The troops would stay a bit longer to see to a orderly withdrawal but the royalty was about to travel as soon as possible. 

Loki stood by the bifrost site, close to his uncle. He hid the shaking of his fingers with his hands tightly clasped together and suppressed the urge to swallow around the lump in his throat. Still he wore the shackles, a reminder that he was not a spouse but a slave in fact. Thor and Odin had already left the day before. Apparently his soon-to-be husband could not stand to accompany Loki personally. 

Loki was about to be brought to Asgard only accompanied by guards. Since he had no personal belongings he stood without any insignia of his status before the aesir soldiers and as soon as he stepped away from his uncle he felt as what he was and would continue to be: a prisoner of war. 

The dark skinned aesir by the name of Heimdall stepped forward and bowed his head in greeting. 

"Prince Loki. It is time. He gestured to the center of the snow that was already carved with intricate patterns of melted ice. Loki had seen how Heimdall had open the bifrost with the aid of the massive sword in his hands and he suspected the man to send him in the same manner. So he was surprised when the man stepped close to him and the few guards. 

"Try to keep still, your majesty" was all the warning he got before Heimdall pointed the sword to the dark skies and a flush of myriad colors ripped them away. 

***

The first impression of Asgard was  _ heat _ . 

It was as if Loki had landed in an oven, his vision blurring in an instant. The room he landed in was smaller than the ice caverns he was used to and round and made of dark gold. The heat was bearable, but it pressed down on him and slowed his thoughts and movements down. 

The man named Heimdall stepped onto a set of dais and turned to him, the huge sword still in hand. 

"Welcome to Asgard, prince Loki." he said with an unreadable face, his golden eyes glowing in the shadowy room. 

Loki gulped and looked around. Everything was so bright and the colors a blurr. His eyes were used to differentiate hundreds of blue and grey tones but this was all… wrong. 

Slowly his eyes made out different patterns in the gold and brown. He took a deep breath. Maybe he could get used to this, when his senses had time to accustom. It still was too warm though. 

The guards became restless, Loki could feel it, but he had no idea what was expected of him. The all father and his future husband had already left it seemed. He straightened his posture and he waited nervous for what was going to happen to him, the warmth pressing down on his body. 

Then Loki's eyes fell in the source of the heat. A round opening in the faraway wall of the room, glaring with light so bright that his eyes started to water. Out there must be the burning gates of hell.

Loki looked to Heimdall again, his face puzzled. There was no other door. Where they not in the palace? Was this a trick? He frowned. They would not make all that fuss just to execute him into a burning flame now, wouldn't they?! 

"Prince Loki. Welcome" a lilting voice came from the oven outside and a woman stepped in. His eyes could only identify her features when she walked into the shadow, away from the glaring light in her back that reflected on her golden hair and pale skin. When she was close enough he saw wrinkles around eyes and mouth that told of her age, but her smile was friendly. Her robes were made from a greyish blue and reminded him of home. 

"I am the Allmother and soon your mother in law. My name is Frigga." she declared and reached for his hands. "My warmest welcome may greet you." 

' _ Warm _ , indeed' Loki thought to himself but only nodded. Her grip was hot too, but also soft. Still he could feel the strength of her hands. 

"Please, follow me. I'll accompany you to the palace where you can settle and rest." she continued unfazed and tried to walk him to the burning gate. 

Despite the fact that all of Loki screamed to run from that heated place he followed the queen of Asgard. What else could he do? She had come from there and he was supposed to go there. It could not be so bad, could it? 

His eyes watered and he had to squint them to be able to see as much as blurred smudges of blue, green and gold when he was close to the entrance. 

And then, when he stepped out, the sun hit him. 

It burned on his skin and filled his every being with heat. The all mother's hand guided him and without her he would only stumble blindly. His bare feet burned on the ground. Loki was blind and deaf, a loud buzzing in his ears droning out all that was said. 

He managed two more steps before his left knee just did not carry him any longer and he fell to the ground, all of his body feeling like cooking on a plate. Through the chaos in his ear a low noise made itself known but Loki was not able to grasp it before mercyful darkness surrounded him. 

***

Thor was drunk. 

He was drunk since he came home from Jotunheim, or at least almost. It had taken some time to get away from his father and find a tavern but after that difficulty was out of the way he successfully filled himself up with mead. Slowly the people around him noted that he was not celebrating the end of the war and the upcoming truce. Nobody celebrated like this. 

Of course, nobody aside his close friends knew how the truce had been negotiated and thus nobody knew the real reason for his drinking. Maybe he could drink until he had to appear to get dressed for the joyous occasion. 

He did not care. He was about to marry a jotun, because the alternative was to be cast out by his father. Banned and abandoned. He had to play his role, nothing else mattered. And he would. But nobody could force him to endure the upcoming event sober. 

"Another!" he yelled and threw the tankard aside. 

His friends sat with him, drinking with him as friends should. And if they maybe tried to cheer him up and make him look with more fondness to the upcoming events - what of it?

“Thor. Get yourself together. You knew that you would end up in an arranged marriage one day. You are the heir to the throne after all.” Sif grumbled. She was the only one who dared to talk to Thor like this because she was the only one who could battle him one on one. 

Thor only snorted at that and took a large gulp from the new tankard he was given.

“I don’t know… maybe it isn’t that bad.” Hogun mused. “He isn’t as hideous as other giants. Imagine you would be forced to marry a dwarf.” 

“Dwarfs aren’t that bad, I tell you. They have their advantages.” Fandral piped in and wriggled his eyebrows, his cheeks red from the alcohol. He was his usual cheery self, unable to let himself be pulled down by Thor’s gloomy mood.

“Fandral… by the Norns! I’m already miserable enough!” Thor rolled his eyes while Hogun looked at his friend with a face full of misgivings.

“All I’m saying is that every race has their benefits.” The young warrior shrugged. “You just need to find the advantage of an small ice giant. 

Thor’s face grew even darker, even if that almost wasn’t possible.

"Yeah. A bride who is more of a groom. Or both. With loose morals and a slovenly way of living." he emptied the tankard again and ordered a new one. Everybody knew that the jotun dressed with the barest necessities and rumor had it that the fact that each of the giants was two-sexed made them quite promiscuous. Which was not surprising. They all looked the same. Who cares with whom one stumbled into the furs if all were the same and barely clothed?! 

"Loose morals are not the worst." Fandral again, who would have guessed. "I'd always prefer an experienced slut over a crying virgin."

"Fandral,you  _ are _ the experienced slut." Siv gave back with a grin but all it elicited was a broad grin from Fandral. 

"That I am!" he spoke proudly, placing his hand on his chest. 

Thor groaned. This was too much to think about. He expected his bride to be a fair maiden, faithful and maybe shy in front of his powers and masculinity. To have a spouse who was as much a man as he felt… wrong. He had laid with men of course, but that had been different somehow. He shook his head. All that talk was too much for his intoxicated brain and he droned his friends out who still bickered on morals and expectations. 

***

"... should have know it. They have not prepared him! He came straight from the frozen realm to ours. No wonder that his body had no time to adjust. Even Thor needs a nap after such a travel and he is used to Asgard's sun."

Loki listened to the ongoing voice but could not make out the meaning. His head was hurting and his body felt as if he had been rolling down mount Galdhopiggen only to come to an halt at its foot. 

Other voices spoke up. 

"... needs to cool down… in general not suited for this. Only in the shadow or cool places of the palaces he will not be threatened with risking his health." 

It was about him. He was in Asgard. A realm he was not able to survive in. To marry a beast. 

Loki exhaled. That would solve a lot of problems. He just had to get through the wedding. The weather would kill him off and end this farce of a relationship. Jotunheim's pride would be unharmed, had they sent their child to marry. It was not his sire's fault that he was too weak to make it. 

Loki felt tears well up in his eyes. He was so tired and his head hurt so much. He just did not have anything left inside to fight. All he could hope for was that this farce would be over soon. 

A cool hand placed itself in his forehead and slowly the pain in his skull subsided. 

"There… That's better, hm?" It was the voice of the Allmother, soft and soothing. He opened his eyes and saw a bright green glow radiation from her fingers over his own skin. Wherever the green light touched him his body cooled down and relaxed. His vital activities started to move in their usual pace again and he felt energy floating through him. 

'Magic' his mind registered. The Allmother was a sorceress! 

He watched her calm face when she worked magic all over his body, soothing his pain. When her hands glided over his wrists however, she frowned. 

"You are a being of magic." she stated and her gaze hung on the shackles. Loki squirmed a little under her gaze. This usually meant nothing good. But she had worked magic herself hadn't she? He nodded because his mouth was too dry to speak. 

"Eir, please be so kind and send a message to his majesty. I require a meeting." she asked with a smile over her shoulder and the other woman bowed her head and left. 

The Allmother turned to Loki again. 

"We need to figure something out that helps you to survive this realms condition." Her warm blue eyes reminded him of glaciers and the wide snow fields in spring. He nodded again. 

"Very well." she smiled. "You can rest a little. Don't worry. All will be fine."

It had been a long time since somebody had been this reassuring to Loki. Jotunheim was a harsh land with harsh people. Children learned early not to expect too much kindness, especially if they were runts. But far away from home, alone and afraid the Allmother's words were like a balm and he clung to them when he closed his eyes. 

All would be fine.

Somehow.

***

Loki woke in a bed much softer than every other he had ever had. Silken sheets caressed his skin that was pleasantly cool. The room was dark and only a golden light from afar helped to assume the contours. Slowly he sat up and looked around. 

It was dark, darker than he was used to from jotunheim, where always a soft glow illuminated everything. Listening into the darkness he waited for a clue where they had brought him but there was nothing. The room seemed to be spacious but it lacked the quality of ice where every sound came back. How to orient in a realm that was so quiet and dark?! 

Loki slipped out of the bed and held his hands out to find his way, fearing to stumble over something because he could not see. He noted that his body was covered in a silken robe that reached down to his calves. The material felt soft but it was strange on his upper body and arms where a jotun did not cover his skin. His eyes caught at his hands. Something seemed foreign, even in this gloomy conditions, even stranger than the still present shackles which dampened his magic. 

It hit him like a hammer. The heritage lines. They were gone! 

Loki stumbled forward, gasping. Was this a dream?! He found his way to the light - a small oil lamp that had a tiny golden glow. Beside it he could see his reflexion in one of the dark windows and his heart was about to stop. 

Only the hair was the same inky black as before. The rest was pale skin, lips with a pink hue. The eyes white on the outer side with a dark iris. No lines on his face. 

They had transformed him into an aesir!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN-DUN-DUUUUN! :O


	5. The Allmother

Loki sat in his room, staring at his hands. They were still shackled with the magic bindings but somebody had taken away the chain so that he could move his arms freely. It was strange to see them devoid of any signs for his heritage. 

His mind was blank and he felt numb. Maybe he should have felt lonely, but he was used to loneliness. He wasn't even homesick, the fact that he was brought to a different world had no capacity in his head at the moment. The room, the light, even the air he breathed - all of it was so far away from all he had ever known that his mind shut it all out. All he could focus was his skin, the soft pink nail beds that were supposed to be dark blue, and the pale skin that looked way to peachy. 

Was this a misunderstanding? Or was he to be like this? To be masked and masqueraded like one of the misshapen aesir. To fit with their customs and expectations. The Allmother had seemed kind at first. But maybe her kindness had only masked her true distaste for his appearance. 

A knock pulled Loki out of his train of thought. The door opened without him answering, but that was just what he expected. He was a prisoner after all. 

A young man who looked like a sort of servant stepped in an bowed slightly. Loki pressed his lips close. On Jotunheim a person in front of a superior as high as the royal family would have bowed so deeply that his neck was visible. Apparently Loki didn't deserve such reverence from an aesir since the young man only nodded with his head.

“Good morning. The Allmother requests your presence, prince Loki.”

“At least you know my title.” he answered and got up from the bed. He still wore the white silken tunic he had been given. “Shall I accompany you at once?"

The servant looked him up and down and blushed. “Maybe… you wish to dress first?” 

It was obvious that Loki was making a mistake here, even if he could not figure out what it was, with him covered from neck to wrist to the ankles. He looked down on himself.

“Am I not?”

The servant squirmed. “To walk the palace hallway in a nightgown might be… inappropriate?” he asked, his face beet red now.

Loki blinked. A gown only for the night? What purpose was that? He looked around.

“What would be an appropriate attire then?” he asked and crossed his arms. All of this began to tire him. If he was to become accustomed to the aesir culture someone should step up at last and explain it to him! But then he thought on who was mostly destined to help him adjust to this new life. The crown prince and his soon to be husband. 

Well, better not.

The servant left through a door that Loki had not paid attention to. When he came back he was flustered and held a bunch of clothes. 

"I apologize for not having prepared an appropriate wardrobe. We did not expect… uh…" 

Loki lifted his eyebrow. His patience ran thin and he crossed his arms in front of his chest, hating the feeling of the shackles with every second he felt them. 

"You did not expect what?" he asked with a cutting tone. 

The page blushed even more. 

"For you to be so… masculine!" He took a step backwards as if he feared for Loki striking him down. But the jotun prince only furrowed his brow. 

Too masculine? He barely understood the concept of two genders and that they were to be differentiated. But when he recalled his readings about the aesir and that they connected manliness with heavy muscle and lots of body hair, while females had breasts and wide hips.

Loki lacked both. 

"It can't be helped." he decided and stepped forward. "Maybe we postpone the discussion on my disturbing appearance and end the Allmother's waiting for my arrival."

Somehow it was a satisfying to see the page flinch. Loki had been known for his sharp tongue, at least by the monks of the cloister, but even his siblings had felt the sting once in a while. 

The servant did not raise his voice again. With his help Loki got dressed in soft pants and a wrap tunic. It was way more cozy and casual than what he had seen on other aesir, without all the metal applications and leather parts. 

Now that he was more or less properly covered Loki followed the page into the hallways. His mind wound itself around the upcoming meeting. Would he have to endure more of the same when he met his soon to be mother in law? If the queen found flaws with his clothes she would see to it that they were changed, as she had with his body, Loki thought and the prospect soured the small triumph he had tasted. 

***

Frigga welcomed him personally in her wide and luxurious chambers. The queen of Asgard seemed not troubled by Loki's appearance, furthermore smiled and gripped his hands in greeting like it seemed to be custom among people in this realm. Loki nodded in greeting and looked around. The round central room held a fountain that sprayed cool water into a pool, right under a large glass dome. Three doors, each on another side of the room might lead to other rooms of the queen's chambers. The fourth wall was open and the visible space outside full with the greenest plants Loki had ever seen. Given that he stemmed from an ice planet his experiences in this field were possibly limited, but he recognized the cozy atmosphere. 

Frigga led him there and he saw that the place was a balcony, overlooking the city down to the sea. The greenery was planted in huge potts, surrounding a small round table with three chairs next to a strange looking machine that Loki with a little effort identified as a weaving loom. 

Frigga, her hand still on his arm as if she expected him to run, offered him a seat before she told a servant to bring breakfast. She sat down across from Loki and smiled, tilting her head a little. 

Loki sat straight as a rod, not knowing what to expect, but since after meeting her the last time he had woken up in a different body, he was more than cautious. The queen however seemed not to notice his stiff posture. 

"I take it you have not eaten until now. Hopefully the kitchen was able to conjure something to your taste." she chatted lightly while she smoothed out her dress. 

Loki nodded politely. He had not eaten for a whole day, since he had been to anxious before the travel and after his arrival had fallen unconscious. It reminded him of the first impression of this realm, the unbearable heat and the burning light. Right here the plants provided shade, so that the sun was not too bothersome, even while being outside, but it made Loki aware again of the changes he had been forced through.

A servant brought a jug and plate to set it down onto the table and fill the cups. He nodded to the queen and Loki pondered for a moment if he was an intimate, since he did not perform any kind of deep bow. Such thoughts however, disappeared as soon as he had a look on the dishes that were presented to him. 

Loki's eyes grew wide over the golden plate and he had to hold onto his control to not openly gape on the variety of foods displayed there. Skrei in milk stock, Rakfisk, Sild, and pickled Gravlaks made his mouth water and his stomach grumble. In a surrounding like this, where even his own body had been reshaped and altered to fit in, the food of his homeland appeared like dream. When Loki managed to tear his gaze away he looked up and was confronted with Frigga, who still smiled at him with those warm, blue eyes.

“Please, feel free. I hope the cook got it right.” 

Not able to control himself any longer Loki tasted each of the fish dishes and reslished in the cool and sour taste. It was heaven. Maybe the spices seemed a bit odd, but it tasted enough like home to fill not only his belly but also his heart. Eating with closed eyes Loki could almost forget for a moment where he was and why. 

Frigga watched him eat with that small smile of hers. Patiently she waited for him to finish, drinking the watered juice the servant had brought with the food. 

When Loki had devoured the last bit he placed his fork on the table with a content sigh. His tongue chased the last bit of salty taste from his lips, before he slowly opened his eyes. Then he faced the queen. His gaze was grateful when he bowed his head deep, his hair falling right and left over his shoulders to expose his neck.

“I thank you, Allmother. This was not only a luxurious meal but also a gift.” he said and her smile grew wider. Her eyes wandered over the railings of the balcony into the distance when Loki straightened his back. 

“You know, I was very young myself when I came to Asgard. I knew only the lush fields of Vanaheim and the ancient magic spread between the trees and the mountains.” She inclined her head her eyes shining with fond memories. “I must admit, I missed the food the most.”

Loki’s eyes grew big. Of course! Frigga too came to Asgard during an arranged marriage. He looked down on his plate and mulled over what he had heard. Maybe she understood how he felt and this breakfast was her way to welcome him to his new life and show compassion. At least to a degree. It lit a small light inside his chest and gave him the confidence to even trust her a little farther.

“Magic?” he asked tentatively. On Jotunheim the usage of seidr was scorned and he knew that even the aesir did not trust a seidmarer. 

“Yes my child.” Frigga answered with that melodic lilt in her voice he had recognized before. It did not sound as if the topic was unseemly for her at all. 

“I never met ano- a seidmarer before.” Loki gave back and his gaze fell onto the shackles. They were hidden underneath the sleeves of his tunic but he knew they were there. He folded his hands in his lap under the table to not have to think about them anymore, even if he felt the magic binding every second.

Frigga did not seem to notice. “We are a rare folk, that much is true. Only a few carry the ability to feel Yggdrasil’s branches and bend them to one's will. But the Vanir know way more seidmarer than other realms do, so I had not been a strange creature.” She gestured to the weaving loom next to Loki. “In the threads of my weaving I can see what is to come and what has been. Even the aesir came to appreciate this talent.”

Loki looked at her with a hopeful expression and her smile was reassuring.

“I talked to Odin about you and your talent. He is not intransigent. He will remove the shackles as soon as the bond has been sealed.”

“The… bond…” So he was to be bound until the marriage was a closed case. As if he could attempt to flee otherwise. 

Frigga interrupted Loki's dark train of thoughts with a question. “Have you trained your seidr? I heard you wielded the power during the battle.”

Loki hesitated a moment. Was it clever to reveal to her that he had almost no control over his powers?

“I defended myself against warriors who came into my chamber. I lived in a cloister, devoid of weapons or shields.” he gave back cooly, remembering the moment when his door had burst open. But the Allmother took no offense, she simply nodded.

“I see. That is rather practical. To be able to defend yourself without a weapon. I would like to see you exercise this when you’re free of the bands on your wrists.”

Loki swallowed. “As you wish, Allmother”

“Please!” she touched his arm in a playful way. “Call me Frigga. You will be my child-in-law soon.” But then she paused, a finger touching her chin in thinking. “That brings me to the second topic I wanted to discuss with you.”

Loki waited for her to continue, but since she all of a sudden seemed uncomfortable he could guess what this was all about.

“Could it be the topic of my… identity as your son’s spouse? The fact that I’m neither male nor female according to your understanding of it?” he asked his feelings again hidden behind the well trained mask. Frigga seemed relieved however.

“Indeed. This is not a simple matter, as you appear to be male, according to the standards of Asgard and its people. But you will be the future Allmother and birth the heir to Asgards throne.” 

Loki felt faint at the mention of ‘heirs’ and what that entailed, but managed to not let it show on his face. “And what do you suggest? I guess you already thought of a solution, as you have with my hideous appearance.” he gave back, his voice even cooler than before. 

The queen furrowed her brow. “I wanted to speak of that later too, but now that you bring it up it seems to be wise to discuss this immediately.” She took a sip of her drink and her face was serious when she placed the cup back on the table.

“I saw no other possibility than to place a charm on you that transforms you into an aesir for the time being. Your cardiovascular system was about to collapse and I was not sure if dropping you into artificial ice could have helped it. A shock from a sudden temperature drop could have been worse." She paused. "Besides, it would have been just what the tattlers would have been waiting for to hold the wedding while you have to sit in a tub filled with ice.” This was a lot sharper than he was used to by her and Loki flinched back a little, but at the same time admired that she did not take shit from anybody.

Frigga smoothed down her gown with her hands. “Anyway,” she continued. “After you are free from the shackles you can cast a spell that helps you to hold your body temperature while being in your true form if that is what you prefer. I did not intend to force you into this.” she gestured to Loki’s appearance.

“I… apologize, Allmot- Frigga.” Loki conceded. Of course he could not maintain his body’s health with his magic. He had no idea how to wield his powers, let alone manage something like such an long-term spell! But he was not going to tell her that.

She nodded. “Now that this is solved… we should talk about your wardrobe.” she decided an her voice was more firm now. “I think on one hand it will not do to press you with force into the dual concept of Asgard but on the other hand you need to fulfill your role. So I propose a middle way. I send word to a tailor to come and design a wardrobe for you that meets aesir beauty standards, but achieves a balance between the two poles.” She nodded to herself and as Loki had guessed, the matter had already been decided on. But since he had worn a loincloth all his life and had no idea what to wear around here to not stand out as a curiosity he had no other chance than to take her advice.

***

When Loki came back into his assigned chambers his head felt fuzzy and his body exhausted. The whole day had been talking, trying on clothes and headdresses and countless other things while Frigga and her ladies in waiting filled him up with information about customs and rituals and what not. Used to lonely days, consisting if long hours of reading, Loki felt drained and all he desired was to sink down on the unusual soft bed and close his eyes. 

That wish went to the void, however, as soon as he entered the chamber. Even if the intruder stood with his back to the door Loki recognized him immediately. The blond hair, the red cape and even more so the arrogant posture with the hammer like fists stemmed into the hips spoke clearly that his soon-to-be husband graced him with his presence. 

Loki swallowed and closed the door behind himself with a quiet click. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about Frigga? :[]


	6. Meeting Of Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We step back in time a bit and see what Thor had been doing on the day Loki arrived in Asgard.

The drinking came to an end when the Allfather summoned Thor to the palace and even if the unwilling prince did his best to delay his return he couldn't prevent the meeting. After arriving in the palace a servant awaited him by the entrance and brought him straight to his father's room where he was already awaited. 

Odin looked thunderous when Thor stepped in front of him and the power of his mood pressed down on his son. 

"Your mother informed me that your spouse has arrived in Asgard. I expected you to greet him and show him around but nobody was able to find you!" 

Thor held his gaze with an impatient expression. The ever present feeling of being a disappointment made his belly churn but luckily the great amount of mead in there drowned it. He crossed his arms. 

"I wasn't aware that I am to be his nanny. Or guide. Or whatever. I was expecting to see my lovely bride on my wedding day." Thor's voice was almost steady,but despite his efforts at appearing more or less sober Odin's face turned red. 

"You bring disgrace over our house and family! Instead of attending to your duties, you lurk in the shadiest taverns and when you come home you smell like a brewery. Has it ever come to your mind that by displaying your distaste for the chosen bond so openly you undermine the peace treaty I so carefully crafted?!"

"I was celebrating the treaty!" Thor gave back in a stubborn tone. 

Odin looked as if he wanted to rip his head off but then he turned around to march over to the floor to ceiling window. Thor watched his father's back with a dark face. If he had not been this drunk he might have noticed that Odin was weary, as if something unexpected and troublesome had happened, but it escaped Thor completely. He was too occupied with holding his posture straight and keeping the swaying to a minimum to truly listen to what his father was saying. 

"... and that's why your mother decided that it might be best to keep him in this state. At least at the moment."

Thor nodded to that without getting what his father was talking about. Something about the jotun. Whatever. 

Odin turned to him again and considered his son with an intent gaze. 

"I expect you to go see him as soon as possible. As far as I am informed he is resting now and will meet with your mother tomorrow. But you will visit after that and see to it that he feels welcome."

"Sure. I can give him a belly rub or something." he slurred and grinned about his own joke. 

Odin however did not share the sense of humor. 

"You will pay your spouse the respect he deserves!" 

Now it was Thors turn to turn red with rage. "Respect?!" he barely managed to shut his mouth after that, to avoid another shouting match with his father. But the thought alone was almost as hilarious as the rest of this farce. Paying respect to a beast?! 

Not two month ago Asgard had marched into battle, against the giants. Everybody knew them from the dark tales to scare the children. And now he was not only to marry such a creature but should play the doting groom? 

"Indeed. Respect." Odin continued. "The respect you owe your family and Asgard. I expect you to act accordingly."

With this Odin left him standing, now that he had expressed his wishes. Thor was about to return to the bar he had been drinking to drown himself in ale but he decided against it. 

Fine! He would play this hilarious game and get it over with. After the stage play came to an end he could find a far away planet to restore peace there and stay away from home. This marriage was a paper relationship and he would handle it as such! 

***

The next morning the palace buzzed with the wedding preparations. Servants hurried around to decorate the great hall and the hallways, the kitchens drowned themselves in preparing various dishes and drinks and the tailors worked on gowns and dresses. It was hilarious to prepare a royal wedding in less than a few days but the work was in full swing. 

Thor did not pay it that much attention as he usually did not consider what servants were doing anyway. He had been training all day, to get out of the way. All the excitement got on his nerves and since he had been trying to empty the whole bar the other night his head hurt and his temper was even shorter than usual. 

At the moment he exercised his sword skills against one of the wooden training dummies. Even if the hammer Mjolnir was his weapon of choice he prided himself with his various skills that he displayed in show fights and tournaments. Sword, axe, spear, all of those were familiar to him and their handling his second nature. 

His friends kept him company even if each of them grunted from the hangover they shared. 

Thor ignored his aching head and the sour taste in his mouth. It was nothing against the sour feeling of the former night.

Thor's blade cut the training doll in half. Volstagg whistled in admiration when the upper part slid down and crashed into the sand. Thor did not pay any attention to him, too much he was occupied with the demands of his father and the prospect of being forced to spend time with the jotun. At least it was just one day, since the wedding was scheduled for tomorrow. 

He grunted when he pulled the sword out of the destroyed dummy. His muscles ached in a pleasant way, totally justifying a visit the baths before he had to get dressed again to attend to his duties. His most hated duties at the moment. Well, the training gave him the perfect opportunity to postpone this affair a bit longer. 

"How about a bath. I could use some skilled hands on me to relax." He asked around and cheers answered him. There was nothing better than enjoying the royal bathing chambers after a training session and surely Thor would find ways to delay even more after. 

***

"Why, by the Norns, am I supposed to do that?!" Thor asked around. It was obvious that Odin himself held not much love for the ice giants in his heart so why was Thor meant to accommodate his spouse? Even between aesir it was common that arranged marriages consistent only on paper and every partner did how he or she pleased. Why should Thor of all people play the doting groom to a beast? 

Vollstag shrugged while Fandral did not even lift the wet towel he had placed over his head. It was Hogun who spoke up. 

"Maybe the Allfather hopes that you will get to know him. At least you will be married the next couple of thousand years." Thor rolled his eyes. 

"And expected to produce an heir" Fandral chimed in, still under the towel. 

"Norns."

"It's true. He will be the mother of your children. Or the father. Or whatever."

"I don't even want to think about this. I can't imagine how he looks under his clothes. I bet it is horrific." 

"That's why your father wants you to get to know him. He fell for your mother, did he not?" 

"That's entirely different and you know that!" Thor groused. To compare the beast to his lovely mother… a lesser friend would have been ordered to a fuel for that! 

"Respect…" he grumbled. "If he so much as speaks up against me I show him what respect means!"

"You can take a concubine as soon as the wedding period is over. Maybe she can even give you an heir." Volstagg suggested. It was not uncommon in case the wife of an noble was not able to conceive. And if Thor kept up his distaste there would be no heir. 

The prince lifted his eyebrow and then leaned back against the rim of the bath. Not the worst idea. He had not told them that there had been this moment, when he wanted to interrogate the jotun and had lost himself a moment in those deep red eyes. That had been nothing. Just… a sick fascination for a strange creature under his hand. His mood soured again. 

Fandral and Hogun exchanged a look. Thor's friends did not say anything further to that matter. Hopefully he and the jotun would not kill each other before the vows were made. 

The rest of the day went over in the pleasant company in the baths, having the tired muscles massaged and oiled before they took a rest on cozy seating.

Just when he was not able to delay it any longer Thor got dressed and made his way to the guest chambers. He did not hurry and he had no intent to stay longer than necessary, the talk with his friends still fresh in his mind. Maybe he did not have to flee to a far away planet. Maybe he could get his spouse out of the way and live with somebody else. Somebody more to his taste and way more appropriate as the mother of his children. 

***

Thor must have been stepped in the wrong guest chamber since the jotun was nowhere to be seen. It was late, he had delayed the meeting until the very last moment, expecting to find his spouse on the way to bed. Since the wedding was scheduled for the next day it would have been understandable to leave after a short greeting. But the jotun was not here. 

Had the creature tried to flee? Everything seemed possible when it came to the him. In that case Heimdall would have raised the alarm. 

Thor grunted in frustration. He had not really bothered to listen to the servants where to find his lovely spouse and now he had to search all the guest rooms, at this hour of the night. Which were many in the palace. 

He stared at the small balcony, his hands in his hips when a little sound made him turn around. 

Thor's hands fell by his sides. 

He stared at the young man who had stepped into the room and now cast his eyes down shyly. Thor had never seen him before. Slender but tall, a pale complexion and silky raven hair - a rare combination among the aesir. He caught the eye of the prince immediately. Who was this? 

A vague notion of knowing him occurred but Thor could not place it. Maybe a noble's son? His clothes were simple and his posture defensive but the naturalness that he had entered the room with made clear that he was a guest. 

Maybe somebody who had come for the wedding? In any case Thor was supposed to know him so it would be rude to ask for a name. The best would have been to leave with an excuse and search the correct room but Thor decided that he would enjoy to get to know this shy beauty. Way more than to be a dutiful son. 

He smiled. 

"No need to be shy." he said in a friendly voice. 

The young man's eyes snapped up and revealed their deep green color. Thor's smile grew wider when he stepped a bit closer. "I apologize for intruding in your chambers. It was not my intention to cause you discomfort."

The young man gaped at him and Thor noted how pink his lips were. How adorable, he obviously was stunned by the fact that the crown prince was talking to him. The thought of his spouse was only a faraway notion now, pushed aside by this way more pleasant company. It reminded Thor that the last time he had lain with somebody had before the campaign on Jotunheim. His voice drops down to an intimate murmured 

"I hope you find your accommodation to your liking. Is there anything you further need?" 

The young man looked down and closed his mouth, gathering his courage before looking up again. A slight pink hue dusted his cheeks. Adorable. 

"I thank you. It is different to what I am used to but I recognize the effort in making it feel homey."

Thor inclined his head. No aesir then. Maybe from Vanaheim. The Vanir were known to be of divine beauty and manners. He strolled closer again. 

"I'm glad to hear this. I would not have liked it if you felt unwelcome here in Asgard."

Now the guest truly gaped at him, as if Thor had proposed to him. Overwhelmed by the hospitality it seems. Thor basked in the expression. Oh what would it be a joy to look forward to marry such a well behaved beauty instead of a blue skinned monster. But Thor was not willing to spoil this fortunate meeting with thoughts on his spouse. 

He took hold of the Vanir's hand and brought the pale fingers to his lips. The sleeves covered the hands and he longed to push them back to kiss the delicate wrist too, but that would have been very bold for a first meeting. Thor looked into those catching green eyes and smiled a smile he knew was making the most people's hearts run faster. 

"I'll take my leave now but I hope to see you again soon."

"Oh don't worry" came the weak reply. The poor guy was about to faint. "You will. Very soon."

Thor took this as a promise and winked with a smile. Then bowed his head and kissed the fingers one more time before he left. 

Thor walked away with a spring in his step. Now it was definitely too late to meet his spouse, he could not intrude into the chambers when the jotun was already in bed. Tomorrow was soon enough and until then Thor would enjoy the thought of the young man he had met. At least the wedding would not be a complete waste if there was a chance to see this beautiful stranger again. 

***

Loki gaped for what felt like minutes at the door that had closed behind the aesir prince. What had gotten into him?! 

His fingers still tinged from the touch of his lips - obviously out of disgust! 

How dared he to behave like a spouse over the moon? Loki sat down on the bed. Was this all a scheme to distract him? But what for? He was entirely at these people's mercy! Too clearly he remembered the last intimate meeting. The big hand closing around his throat, holding him in place on his toes and cutting of his breathing. His own fingertips touched the place to make sure that there was no confinement and he swallowed down the dryness in his mouth. What had triggered this change of mind in the crown prince? 

Loki looked up. Maybe the Allmother had talked with him, reminding him that the barest necessity was a decent behavior, now that they were no enemies any longer. Maybe this meant that Loki could expect to be treated with dignity, at least during the wedding. 

He got up and made a few steps. Despite his exhaustion he felt restless after the meeting with his soon to be husband. It had reminded him of what was coming his way. 

Until now he had expected the marriage to be only in written Form. But Thor's eyes had held this strange glint when he had kissed Loki's fingers. As if the aesir prince… desired him! A strange heat rose to his cheeks. Loki had been sure that the disgust was mutual, but now it appeared that his new form pleased the aesir and made him want to consume the marriage! 

He paced back and forth the room. This was a strange and frightening thought. His whole life he had expected to be left in the cloister without a chance to ever have a physical relationship. He was too small and his magical nature a source of danger und mistrust. To be wedded, to be desired… this was simply not what life had in store for him. 

Or so he had thought. 

But then the brute stumbled into his chambers and looked at him with this heat in his eyes and came so close and eve touched him with his strange peachy lips. Totally unwanted and unpleasant! Loki rubed his fingers against his pants with an angry motion, as if that could get them rid of the lingering feeling. 

Probably all this was a ruse. A kind of jest the aesir prince planned with Loki. To make him wonder and fret about what was going to happen in the wedding night and… 

'Enough of this!' Loki thought vehemently and went to bed. 


	7. Foreboding Of The Wedding

Loki woke up by the sound of knocking on his door. It had taken ages to fall asleep, turning from one side to the other, but now the day he dreaded was there. 

The wedding. 

The day when he would become the spouse of this brutish barbarian of a crown prince, to spend the rest of his life on a strange world that looked down on him. 

With a sigh Loki got up while three maids entered the room, carrying the clothes and jewelleries that had been made with urgency yesterday. They greeted him with a nod of the head and proceeded to open the curtains, letting the glaring sunlight in. 

It was strange, but somehow it seemed to Loki as if Asgard could not wait to get over with the wedding as soon as possible. On Jotunheim the preparations for such an occasion would have taken weeks if not months, but here everything had been arranged in a couple of days. The food, the clothes, the invitation and accommodation of guests - everything took such little time. As if it had been expected beforehand that a jotun prince was coming here before he himself knew about it!

Loki frowned, but before he could think more of it the maids ushered him out of bed and into the bathing chambers. He was placed in the tub while the maids hurried to wash his hair and he could barely prevent them to assault his body too. Loki ripped the cloth out of one hand with a frown, he would not stand it to be touched everywhere! Luckily the maid relented and let him see to his business in private while she readied the tools for further proceedings. 

After the quick bath the maids toweled him dry and started to groom everything that was to be groomed. From head to toe, hair, and skin was treated with perfumes, powders, creams, and lotions. His eyebrows got plucked and each finger- and toenail filled and covered with a soft shining surface. They even put coal around his eye and a glistening oil on his lips. 

Loki tried to not look into the mirrors, to not have to see his strange appearance change even more into an aesir doll. Still, he could not help to see his hands and arms while he was cleaned, groomed and dressed. On his home world his heritage lines would have been outlined with diamond shade and the bare arms decorated with rings made from bone and sacred wood. All the treatment reminded him how strange he looked now and how far away all this was from his own customs and rituals. And even if Loki never expected to be wedded to one of his own kind since he was too small and to different in his abilities his heart felt heavy now that he was prepared in such a way. 

The servants informed him that the wedding took place around noon and the steps of the ritual took a lot of time until the feast could begin in the early evening. He had heard all that from Frigga but the maids seemed to think him dense or something since they explained all of it to him again. Loki decided to keep quiet and let their rambling fly over his head. 

The gown was as Frigga had suggested and balanced in between male and female attire. The outer layer seemed like a tight, sleeveless, spring green dress with gold embroidery on the sides and the high neck. It had slits left and right high up over the thighs. But under it pants were visible and together with high boots they let the gown appear more male. Glove-like sleeves reached to the upper arms, but they were skin tight too and thus the blasted shackles laid above them for everybody to see. A gold embroidered green cape that floated behind him completed the attire. The opulent headdress with golden horns and bluish-green gemstones almost seemed like a crown. 

Loki held onto the calm mask he had perfected over the years and let the servants do their work. It mattered not. If it was about him he would have walked down the aisle in a rag, but if this was how it had to be done so be it. The amount of gold was typical aesir as far as he could say and thus the attire maybe underlined his new position at court. 

Loki paused the dwelling in his dark thoughts at that point. He blinked. His new position? 

When he phrased it like that… Hel looked into the mirror and his gaze went up and down, taking in all that had been done to make him appear like this. The person facing him in the glass was strange to his eyes, yes. But the reflection also showed… a future queen. 

Now that he regarded it from this perspective, Loki could recognize Frigga's effort to make the tailor produce something of royal status. He truly was aristocratic in aesir standards. The attire made his double gendered nature visible but not in a strange and alienating way but elegant and posh. The headdress resembled aesir customs of winged helmets and such but the horns were attached to a diadem, again male and female in aesir aesthetic union. 

Loki saw that this was an appearance the aesir could accept and look up to as their future queen. He blinked and a sliver of hope rose in his chest. This was not about him. This was about the jotun as a people! He had to present himself in the best possible way, to make his ancestors proud and to show the aesir that they were no inferior, subjugated race but proud and graceful. The Allmother had prepared the carpet for him and he would thank her by walking it with as much grace as he could muster. And if he had to do this in a pink skinned masquerade, so be it!

*** 

When after hours of preparations and styling Loki finally was declared ready the leading maid accompanied him to a waiting room. There he was given a bit of watered down juice, the first thing to sustain him all day, and was told to wait for the arrival of prince Thor. Together they would walk through the golden double doors to face the people of Asgard. If he recalled it right the Allfather would process the wedding alongside a group of priests. It could be a long day. 

As soon as he was left alone Loki took a deep breath. At least all the tutting about his appearance had distracted him from what was to come. The ceremony ended with him and the crown prince retreating to the martial chamber. He had read about aesir customs and knew that the night after the wedding was regarded important. The pair was supposed to know each other intimately that night, for good fortune and a future filled with heirs. Even if he had no precise idea what that entailed the prospect alone filled Loki with dread. They would touch each other and Thor was not like him, he was different in regard to his sex and maybe expected things and to go in a certain way and… all of this made Loki thankful to not have been given anything to eat or he would have made a mess out of nervousness. 

To distract himself Loki looked around the small room and his eyes came to rest on the flowers that had been used to decorate. He did not know many blossoms since they were rare on Jotunheim but these he had seen in a book once. 

Roses. 

The petals where mostly white but the outer side faded into a lovely, pink. The flowers looked so delicate and soft. Maybe this was a kind of metaphor for becoming a pair or something. 

Loki was pulled out of his thoughts by a door crashing close. He looked up, startled, and was face with Thor. 

The aesir prince stood there and gaped as if he saw a ghost. Eventually Loki registered the fine fabric of Thor's pants and the silver of his ceremonial armor but it was shoved aside by the expression of shock on the aesir face that slowly turned into rage. Loki looked over his shoulder to see if something had appeared behind him that made the prince glare like this. But there was nothing. Was it his attire? But what by Ymir was to say against it?! All was nice and aesir, a lot of fabric and gold. So why gape like this! 

"You!" the aesir prince said and Loki frowned. 

"Yes?" Loki managed not to flinch at the outburst. Was the brute dumb? Of course it was Loki. Who had he expected in a place like this on such a day? An eight legged horse?! 

"You are the one I met yesterday! In the guest room!" 

Still Loki had no idea what this was all about. He straightened his posture. "Yes, indeed. And now we are about to be wedded." he reminded him, his voice steady. 

The aesir's eyes looked as if they attempted to pop out of their sockets. He pointed his finger at loki and the redness of his cheeks showed the burning anger. On his neck a vein was visible. 

"You deceived me! You made me think you were an asgardian or a vanir or what not!" 

Now it was on Loki to become angry. 

"What?! Are you mad?! I did no such thing!" 

"Of course you did! You left me in the thinking that you were a guest! Is this some kind of jest on my behalf?!" Thor was short from outraged shouting and Loki felt the air charge with electricity. He could not prevent to take a step back in the face of this uncontrolled force. But he would not be silent in front of such accusations! 

"How dare you accuse me of such! It is not my fault if you are too dense to recognize your own spouse!" 

"You changed your appearance! I expected a blue skinned abomination!"

Loki's face started to burn too, shame and anger wrestling for the pole position. 

"Well, maybe you want to thank your mother for turning me into a pink skinned abomination instead!" he hissed. Oh what would he have given to be able to scratch those blue eyes out! 

Thor suddenly became silent. He had crossed the stage of shouting and his face was white with. Rage now. "Watch. Your. Tongue, witch! I will not stand by and let you insult my mother!" 

Loki had not intended that but he would not back off now. 

"And what will you do against it?!" 

Thor regarded him a moment. Then walked over to the door where a decorative chain held a drapery. He ripped it off and closed in on Loki. 

Loki's eyes went wide when Thor took hold of one of his arms and fastened the chain to the shackle there. He pulled back, but without his magic he was not able to stand up against Thor's superior strength. Thor held him close with no effort. 

"I tell you what I do. I show the whole people of Asgard who I am forced to marry. A vicious beast and a slave of war. Nothing else!"

"No! Let go of me! You can't be serious! You-!" 

But his struggle was to no avail, Thor grabbed his other hand and bound them both together in front of Loki. Made him a prisoner again. No amount of silk and gold could undo the image of a subjugated race, a bound criminal and war prize. After seen like this he would never be more in the eyes of the people of Asgard! 

Now Loki's voice rose too and he yanked on the chain in Thor's grip. 

"I will not suffer such treatment! Release me or I swear by Ymir and the sacred ice planes of Svellnose that I will make you suffer my wrath!" Loki spat with all he had. 

Strangely calm Thor held him in place and then took one of the roses, it's petals soft between his strong fingers. He looked Loki dead in the eye, holding the delicate flower up for him to see. 

A lightning bolt ripped the blossom apart. With horror Loki watched the shredded petals rain down on his shoes. His heart beat so fast he feared it to explode in his chest. 

Thor took Loki's hand around the shackle to pull him closer. His gaze was cold. 

"We will see." he said with a smile that held no warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big inspiration for this story came from this amazing artwork. I decided to share it here. It's not mine and I hold no rights. Loki's attire is the same but Thor has long hair.  
Link:   
http://liuyc-7.lofter.com/post/5e41e_ee94631b


	8. Celebrations And Gifts

Loki experienced the wedding like an outsider, almost detached from his body. He was dragged behind the aesir prince, down the aisle on the chain between his hands. People left and right stared at him and he had no capacity to feel shame, too much was his pride stomped into the dirt and spat on. He just stumbled forward like a cattle on the way to the butcher. How fitting that they had given him horns! If one person had been left unknowing that Asgard had been victorious on Jotunheim, now they knew!

Loki did not lift his head in front of the throne, just stood where Thor had dragged him, feeling dead inside. He did not recognize the silence in the great hall nor the expression with which the royal pair regarded the soon to be weds. He blinked slowly, but saw nothing. When the words started he only heard a low murmur, as if his head was buried under thick snow. 

At some point his left arm was raised and his hand bound to Thor's. It took some time, before he was released again. Other things happened. A sip of wine on his tongue. His body being turned around to face the crowd without seeing them. Facing the throne again. He did not care. All of this was futile, only sham, after he had been dragged in here like a prisoner. 

Like a slave. 

***

Thor was - again - on the way to a pretty solid hangover. After he and his spouse had arrived at the center of the great hall he had seen in his father's face that he was not to life this down after the celebration was over. And even more worse, mother had looked at him as if she was torn between the need to faint and the wish to strangle her son with her necklace. Of course none of them had said a word with the whole crowd present around them. 

Stubbornly Thor had ignored both and pulled his spouse in front of them with 'Let's get this over with' clearly written over his face. And despite everything, the wedding started. 

Thor and Loki endured everything that needed to be done to please the Norns and the people and whoever needed placating deeds with a stony face. Regarding the pair in the center of it all this was the gloomiest wedding of all times. 

Now, after the rituals were completed, they sat side by side in the great hall, right in the center to receive the toasts and congratulations of the people. Someone had let the chain disappear but that did nothing to brighten the mood among the newlyweds. After the formal greeting the feast would start and then, after eating, drinking (from Thor's perspective hopefully with a lot of drinking) the wedding would be over. Or at least the part where others were present. 

Since Thor had dragged him down the aisle the jotun had not once raised his head. During the ceremony he had stared at the floor with a lifeless expression and now he sat beside Thor, his hands in his lap, gaze cast down and the drink in front of him untouched. He did not look up when somebody spoke his good wishes or when a toast was made, just sulked in his seat as if his life was over. 

Thor rolled his eyes and emptied his tankard. Maybe it had not been the wisest thing to bring his spouse in with bound wrists like a criminal on the way to court. If he was honest with himself, he had no idea  _ why _ he had done it. In fact, he had not thought at all. There just had been this white hot rage, filling his head with electrical noise. The thought that he had flirted with the jotun without knowing… that he had felt drawn to him, even kissed his hand, only to find out who he was the other day… played like a fool! 

A small voice tried to remind him that Odin had talked about a condition the jotun was in. Something about a charm Frigga had used to help him adjust to the weather. But he had not listened. 

So what? It had not been Thor's idea to bring him here! And he could have said something. Instead the jotun had left him standing like an idiot. Laughing behind his back probably, Thor thought grouchy. 

He gestured to a servant to bring more mead while he ignored the glare Frigga send his way. If they expected him to stand this celebration sober he would gladly prove them wrong. Maybe the jotun should drink some too. To loosen up a bit. 

Yeah, the chain had been too much. But it hadn't been Thor who left him shackled! Odin decided to leave the cuffs on! Thor had only connected them! 

Well… 

Thor emptied the tankard again, to silence the different feelings inside of him. 

Stupid shit! 

Slowly he first part of the greeting came to an end and the signs of deference started. Guests from all over the realms stepped forward to present gifts and wishes for the crown pair. Thor sprawled in his seat and looked at Loki from the corner of his eye. The jotun did not seem to notice that people stepped up to them and placed gifts on the table so it was on Thor to play host and say something. 

Fine! 

"Thank you. Yeah, such a pelt is great. Many thanks."

This would become a long night. 

***

Loki still did not look up, even if the proceedings changed around him. He heard people walk in front of them and say things. Some of them placed objects in front of their feet and more words were spoken. It all meant little to him. Hopefully the whole affair would be over soon so that he could flee the inquisitive eyes of the people around him. Who had seen… 

But then a sound made it through the cocon Loki had created around himself. A low tone, more like a deep vibration of a drum. It was the heavy footfall of a giant. Slowly he raised his head.

Byleistr, newly crowned king of Jotunheim, stepped down the aisle. The jotun towered over the aesir and other races, more than three heads taller and proud. 

Loki froze to the core.

Had his sibling seen it? Seen his humiliation and degradation in front of everybody? Or had he arrived later? His stomach cramped around nothing at the mere thought. Yes, Byleistr seemed angry, furious even. Jotun faces where hard to read for others since the most of them looked like shaped ice, but Loki could clearly see the hate he felt for the aesir. And that hate stretched over his younger sibling, who looked like them and sat among them, after he had allowed to be dragged in here. Loki could clearly see that Bylistr did not distinguish him from the other people here, all of them beneath him. A disgrace. Laufey himself would have felt tempted to struck him down, child or not, that he was sure off. 

He felt heat rise to his cheeks. Hadn't it been Byleistr who had given him as a price to Asgard in the first place? Who had sealed his youngest siblings fate. He gripped his hands tightly to stop them from shaking. Was Byleistr angry about the misery he himself had caused? Loki’s bound hands? The prospect to life under the rule of such a barbaric brute as the one lounging next to him?!

The people in the front row shivered when he walked with heavy steps past them, his ice cold skin lowering the temperature around him. His body was so tall and strong, he could have ripped apart each of them with his bare hands. Proudly he wore the loincloth and the arm bands, his skin showing his heritage lines, that resembled the one’s Loki had lost. 

Loki's gaze traveled up his body and stopped on the crown on Byleistr’s head. It was made of ice, prevented from melting with Ymir’s magic. This was what a jotun looked like. Not the pathetic, small, and weak figure that Loki was, bound to Yggdrasil instead of Ymir. He lowered his head again.

The king of Jotunheim stopped in front of the two seatings, his feelings disappearing behind a polite mask. He bowed his head like it was custom in front of equals. His voice was a deep snarling, like two glaciers grating against each other.

“I bid you my greeting and congratulation to the bond that will strengthen both our families and races." he scraped and made a gesture of peace with his hands pressed together in front of him. “Please allow me to gift you the most precious thing my world has to offer as a sign of friendship and unity.”

A murmur went through the room at these words. It turned into silence when he stepped aside and gave way to a jotun servant who came closer, holding a box made of dark stone. Byleistr opened it and light streamed over his face. Loki’s eyes widened when he heard some of the guests gasp.

Inside the box, emitting a soft blue shine and surrounded by air so freezing cold it glistened - rested the casket of winters.

***

Odin rose from his throne behind the newlyweds and his voice boomed through the great hall before Thor could even say a word. Both, Loki and Thor turned to him as he stepped down the dais. 

“King Byleistr. It is a joy and a luck to have you here as a witness of this bond."

They two kings exchanged pleasantries, a sign for the fresh truce between the worlds. 

As well as Loki's, Thor's eyes hung on the freezing cold casket. It appeared as made of glass with a light blue shine inside, but Loki knew that it was ice. The essence of ice itself. Ymir's frozen heart. Why in all realms was Byleistr giving it away?! 

Thor frowned at it as if the relic had insulted him personally, but Loki could not figure out why.

Odin however, reacted as if the jotun King had announced to give a box of jewels. Friendly and with grace, but as if it was nothing he had never seen before. While his face stayed impassive, his words showed more deference. "Since this is a true treasure, we will store it away safely, immediately." he said and gestured to a group of einherjar. 

Loki's head turned to the Allfather who clearly had expected the exchange. So this was part of a plan? The same plan that had brought Loki into this misery?! But why was Byleistr willing to part from Jotunheim's greatest treasure? He should have guarded it with his life, instead he handed it over. He blinked and faced his brother again. Was this a ruse? A fake? 

"Unfortunately…" Byleistr extended his hands in a gesture of regret. "That is not possible." 

If a needle had been falling to the floor this very moment, it would have been heard throughout the whole room since nobody made as much as a breathing sound. All eyes were on the jotun king and the Allfather. From the corner of his eye Loki could see Thor gripping the armrest of his chair. 

Byleistr seemed to enjoy the baffled atmosphere, shifting his weight from one foot to the other in a casual way.

Odin however, did not jump to the act of defiance. He inclined his head softly. 

"And why is that, king Byleistr?" 

"Since this is the very core of Jotunheim… " Byleistr snarled and for a moment his voice sounded angry. "... it can only be touched by a jotun. Everybody else would die on the spot, I'm afraid." His red gaze found Loki and the young prince felt nailed into on his chair by it. 

Loki stared up to him. What was this all about?

Odin nodded. "Well spoken my friend. Loki shall receive your gift and bring it to the vault. Would that be appropriate?" 

Byleistr nodded. "My beloved sibling shall take it. He may look different, but he is a jotun at his core."

Somehow that sounded way less fond as the words suggested.

Thor watched with a frown how Loki slowly rose from his seat to step in front of his fellow countrymen. Byleistr's eyes laid on him, a mocking smile playing around his lips. Somehow the air was charged and Loki had no idea why and what game was played with him as a leading role. He extended his hands in direction of the casket, feeling his heart beating like a drum. 

His fingers closed around the handles.

Byleistr exhaled. His eyes went wide for a heartbeat, before the expression vanished again. Loki regarded him carefully, feeling the weight of the casket in his hands. The jotun king examined him closely and seemed to wait for something. Then his eyes found the shackles?

"What are those?" Byleistr asked, gripping Loki's wrist. The younger one barely managed to hold onto the relic, startled by the harsh grip. For a moment Byleistr looked as if he wanted to rip Loki's arm off. But then Odin stepped forward, still smiling. 

"Well. Loki, follow me to the vault to store your precious gift safely." Odin declared and Byleistr let go of him as if burned. Loki stared at him a moment longer before he turned to Odin, the casket in his hands. 

It  _ was _ the true relic. He could feel the power of the ice pulsing in his veins, battling the energy of Yggdrasil and the shackles around his wrists. His hands changed to their natural blue color, making his heritage lines visible again, but the magic cuffs stopped the process. 

When he turned, the crowd rejoiced loudly. The handed over relic was seen as another sign for the superiority of Asgard. 

Under the red glare of Byleistr Loki followed Odin and the einherjar out of the great hall. Thor rose from his seat to accompany them, his lips a tight line. 

***

Thor felt unsettled and that not only by the fact that the blasted jotun king had brought the damned relic  _ he _ had been looking for! No, something else was at stake here, but he had no idea what! The norns were laughing at the jest they played with him, that much was sure! 

He felt the power of the casket. It was as if it called to the magic inside him, like a challenge between warriors. He could feel its raw and cold power, similar to his own lighting and still so different. He almost felt sober now, which was unfortunate, but his mind circled around the gift and his spouse. 

To Thor he looked deeply unsettled since the jotun king had appeared in front of the throne. Well, he hadn't been exactly the paragon of cheerfulness before, but since the confrontation Loki looked restless and shaken. After Loki had put down the relic on a pedestal in the kings vault, his hands turned pink again. 

Thor watched it and somehow he felt the urge to touch them, to rub them warm again and defy the cold power the young man had held. He wanted to ask what Loki thought about all this, since it was clear that he had as much an idea as Thor himself. It was a strange feeling of companionship he experienced here, in front of the relic and the schemes that were played with it and themselves as well.

Then his eyes found his father. 

Odin watched Loki with the same intent as the jotun king had. Thor would have staked his left eye for the fact that Odin knew exactly what was going on. And he did not tell. Not even his own son. Thor gritted his teeth. If he wanted to find out what this was all about he had to look elsewhere. 

He gazed at Loki again. The jotun shivered, as if somebody had walked over his grave and Thor knew exactly how he felt. 


	9. Marital Duties

The celebration was in full swing and with it the eating and drinking. Thor and Loki had returned to their position for receiving the rest of the gifts. After that the banquet started and everybody followed the pair to the tables laden with food. In opposite to the the newlyweds the atmosphere among the guests was light and cheerful. Music played and bards sang of heroic tales and desperate love. 

Loki sat between Byleistr on the one and Thor with the aesir royal pair on his other side. Since they had returned Loki pondered on what had happened earlier, breaking his head for the meaning. It even distracted him from the horrible wedding and all Thor had done to him. His husband was surprisingly quiet, even placid, but Loki could not spare a thought to that. The cold emanating from Byleistr swept into Loki's clothes and skin, like a foreboding of danger, but he could not grasp what kind of menace was coming his way. 

Still countless cheers rose from the crowd and he and Thor had to lift their cups again and again. Even if Loki only nipped on the ale each time he felt dizzy already. He had not eaten the tiniest bit and his stomach cramped with the alcohol. He was not used to such substances and prayed for the night to end.

Finally - Loki had lost track of the time long ago - Thor rose as if on a secret sign and turned to Loki, extending his hand. Cheers and lewd suggestions rose from the drunken crowd. Loki looked at the hand as if it was a poisons creature, ready to bite him. The aesir prince's face darkened. 

Byleistr rose from his seat too and Loki found himself between the two bulky figures. "It is custom in my home that the family accompanies the child to the wedding bed." he rasped with a broad smile. 

"You mean… Like, staying the night?!" Thor sounds as if he choked on the idea. 

The jotun King shook his head with a amused grin. "No, not to stay. For moral support. The innocent need guidance." he explained and his cold hand landed on Loki's shoulder. "Please allow me to lead my sibling to the martial chamber. He will await you there. It is tradition." 

Thor hesitated a moment but then sat down again. "Fine." he grumped, but let them go. 

Loki rose from his seat without looking at anyone. He felt like a lamb who was accompanied to the butcher while he and Byleistr followed a servant, leaving the hooting crowd behind. The whole time the king's hand stayed on his shoulder as if he expected Loki to bolt. And how desperately he wished for it. For a hole to open where he could slip in and never emerge again. But there was none and then they arrived at the chamber that had been chosen as the new home of the royal pair. 

Loki did not regard the luxurious furniture or the spacious rooms. His whole world was occupied by the prospect of laying with Thor, and what that might entail.his idea of the whole affair was rather vague but he counted on it to be unpleasant. Being brought to this by his own blood didn't make it any better. Something in Byleistr's conduct was threatening, like barely contained violence, but Loki had no idea if this was directed at him, the aesir or something entirely different. 

After he had shown them around the door closed behind the servant and the two jotun were alone. Byleistr looked down on Loki and his expression could only be called jovial. Was this the time where his older sibling would reveal his plan, the reason for it all, the marriage, the gifted casket, all of it? 

"I hope you know what your duties for our sire and our people are."

Loki looked at him with confusion, his belly churning with foreboding. 

"What do you mean? Your majesty." 

Byleistr grinned at him with a dark expression. 

"To get your belly filled with child of course."

Loki only stared at him, unable to move a limb. 

"You… you can't be serious." escaped him before he clapped his mouth shut. He moved backwards, to run, to flee and hide from this demand. But the huge hand grabbed his arm and pulled him close, to look into the merciless red eyes of his fate. 

"Oh my beloved sibling. I'm dead serious."

***

Thor followed the jotun shortly after, his footing a bit unsteady. He had glared at everybody who tried to accompany him to his chamber. His husband's face had told him pretty clearly that this bedding wasn't going to be an easy task and he didn't want the whole palace to see them fight. 

Despite whatever feelings one of them might have for the prospect, laying with loki was necessary. It had to be done to complete the bond, the ancient magic requiring a more bodily deed than speaking vows. 

To his own surprise Thor found that a part of himself wasn't as averse as he should have been. This part maybe even looked forward to it. Not the fight of course. But to touch the beauty that was his husband. The more time he spent in Loki's presence the more he felt drawn to him, despite the obvious aversion between them. It was confusing and Thor hated confusion. 

Because of all these conflicting emotions he was quiet and grumpy when he entered the suit the newlyweds had been assigned to. The living room was empty and dark so he headed for the bedchamber.

To his relive he found Loki alone, the jotun king had already left. Thor's husband stood with his back to the door by the empty fireplace, still like a statue, except the soft shaking of his hands. If the company of his sibling had the intended effect to calm his husband down, it seemed to haven't worked well. Loki's back was straight as a rod and a tremor run through the body. In the light of the candles the fire shine golden on the horns of his crown. 

Thor closed the door behind himself and the small sound startled Loki. Apparently he had been deep in thoughts. Now he turned with wide eyes, his face as pale as if he had seen a ghost. Was he really that frightened? 

Thor walked over to his side of the bed, his eyes averted to give Loki a bit of space and to show that he was not about to jump him immediately. It had no notable effect. Loki regarded him like a creature from a bad dream, with helpless antipathy watching his every step. 

Then, when Thor stood still on his side of the room, the jotun prince snapped into motion. 

Thor watched him in stunned silence march to a nearby table. A jug and two cups waited there and Loki poured wine into one of the glasses. He spilled some of it but seemed not to care when he lifted the cup with two hands like a man dying of thirst and gulped it down. 

His breath was heavy when he set the empty cup down again, his eyes closed. He seemed to fight a inner dispute and all Thor could do was watch. 

When Loki turned to Thor, a grim determination had taken over his face. Without breaking eye contact he lifted his hands to the headdress. The nimble fingers took the crown off and it made no sound when it fell onto the carpet. 

Loki stepped over it and came closer, still this hard expression on his face. Thor had to stop himself from stepping back at the advance. He watched how Loki she'd off the cape to leave it on the floor, like the jewelry. 

He was close now. Thor felt his heart beat fast in his chest, expecting a touch or a blow, unsure what was more likely and then… 

Loki walked past him. Careless he took of the glove-sleeves, ripping the thin fabric on the shackles. He marched to the other side of the bed where he started to undo the tunic with angry movements. 

Thor watched him and had no idea what to do. This was not what he had expected. Well,he could not stand here like a oaf and watch his spouse undress. Pressing his lips together in determination he stepped forward. 

Loki tensed at that but then continued to work the clasps of his tunic. The fabric fell from his shoulders, leaving the pale skin in the low light of candles and moonshine. 

Thor came closer and placed his hands on Loki's shoulder. He felt the shiver that ran through him, the heat of his skin against his own body. It had to be done, even if both of them hated it. The bond had to be completed. 

"If you have a bit of mercy in you, you touch me as little as possible." the jotun hissed and Thor let his hands fall down again. His mouth was a thin line when he stepped back to get rid of his own clothes. He did not watch how Loki slipped out of boots and pants and how he laid down on the bed.

Thor undressed. Then he blew out the candles and stepped to bed. There he looked down on his betrothed. Bathed in the light of the moon the slender figure on the silken sheets seemed blue skinned, almost in the same color as Thor had met him on Jotunheim. In the dark his eyes were deep pools, devoid of the mossy green color, they could also been red. Thor leaned over him, taking in the appearance of him. Loki closed his eyes and held his breath, his hands in weak fists beside his head as if he were bound. A slight tremor run through his body in dreaded anticipation. 

He was beautiful. 

Thor could not deny it any longer. Blue skinned or not, aesir in appearance or like the cold jotun, Loki was the most divine being he had ever seen. No matter how hard he had tried, Thor could not hide this realization from himself any longer. 

An aching made itself known inside of him, a longing he had never felt before. His brow furrowed at these strange feelings towards the person he was connected to, by hate and aversion. 

His hand found loki's tigh, the palm stroking upwards slowly, making him flatten the leg down on the sheets. The area between Loki's legs, that had been hidden in the shadow, came into view and Thor looked for the first time onto the dual sex of his husband. And to his own wonder he did not find it hideous or strange. As the rest of him, Loki's small cock and the barely visible slit underneath were of a certain beauty and Thor felt compelled to touch and explore. 

'As little touching as possible' Loki's demand rose in Thor's mind and he gritted his teeth. His touch was unwelcome and only tolerated because they had to complete the bond. 

He let himself down on the bed, next to his spouse and heard him suck in breath. His hand slid upwards, over the hip to loki's chest, feeling the softness of the skin, the warmth under his fingers. He could feel Loki's quick heartbeat under his hand, a fluttering like those of a small animal that was trapped in front of a predator. The hands beside his head formed harder fists

To be honest, he had no idea how the bond was formed. Loki had a cock too, so it was not a given that he was going to be penetrated. Thor himself had never bottomed before and he did not intend to start now, but he wondered. Did they have to get off together, to form the bond? Or only one of them? Did the body's had to unite in a way? By the norns, why had nobody explained this beforehand?!

"W-what are you waiting for?" Loki asked with a tight voice, his eyes still closed. 

Thor had frozen with his hand on Loki's hip and not moved since he had started thinking. 

"I…" he began but then stopped. His mouth formed words without a sound. 

Loki sat up. His eyes were dark in the low light. His expression wavered between irritation and suspicion. 

"What's the matter?" 

"I… don't know." 

"You don't know what? How to… how to start? Or…" Loki pulled the blanket over his lap and even in the low light Thor could see his cheeks color. "Is this because I am too hideous?" He tried to sound cold and sarcastic but there was a squeak in his voice. 

"No! No… It's not that. I mean. You aren't. Hideous. Uhm." Thor softly pulled the blanket away again and Loki let him do it. 

"So what is it then?"

"I don't know how to form the bond!" 

Loki regarded him with a long look. He blinked a few times. 

"You never… laid with somebody?" 

"Of course I have!" 

"But you said…" 

"That is not the same! We need to complete the wedding bond and we both have a cock and-"

Loki took a deep breath. "Are you able to bear children?" 

"What?! Of course not!" 

"Well _I_ _am_. So the roles are clear, no?!" 

Both breathed heavily now, cheeks aflame. Loki regained his composure earlier than Thor and sighed. 

"Look, I may not have experience in this, but if I'm not mistaken you are supposed to… to…" he gestured to his lap. 

Thor held up his hand. 

"What do you mean 'you have no experience in this'?" he asked with a frown. Loki blushed heavily. 

"Where should I have gained such?! You have seen the size of the average ice giant, no?" he asked defensively. Not only among aesir he counted as hideous. 

Thor huffed. 

"I thought you… ah nevermind. Let's… Let's do this. Uhm." he thought a moment. "How about we start with a kiss. 

Loki rolled his eyes and laid back again. He spread his legs a little as if to say 'get on with it'. 

Thor shrugged." Fine then." And with that he dove head forward down between Loki's legs. 


	10. Coming Together

Loki yelped at the sensation of Thor's tongue licking over his cock and tried to sat up again. His hand pressed against the head of the oaf between his legs and he gasped for air. 

"What in Ymir's name are you  _ doing _ ?!" 

But Thor did not answer. He held Loki's hip in place and sucked the small cock into his mouth. 

Loki's cheeks were aflame and he was grateful that it was dark in here because he couldn't imagine how he looked right now. Thor even spread his legs wider and licked down and over his closed slit. 

"Uh… No, please stop!" he tried to move away but Thor's hands kept him there, under the assault of that wicked tongue that explored him in a way he never ever held possible. It slipped between his foods and found places Loki never knew were so sensitive. His back arched and he exposed himself even further without knowing what was going on. 

True to be told, Loki had no idea how jotun coupled since his fellows had been monks and even if he had been in the palace - jotun were very private people and what happened in the sheets was not discussed. Even less he knew about aesir customs when it came to sex. Maybe this was how it was done, even if the thought of being looked at down there from this close was hilarious. 

Thor licked him leisurely, taking his time to explore Loki’s lower body parts, while his free hand roamed up his hip and belly. The muscles twitched under his palm when Loki writhed and bucked his hips, trying to process the onslaught of different sensations. If he could have caught a clear thought, Loki would have died of embarrassment about the wet and filthy sounds that rose from between his legs and the wanton moans from his own lips.

Despite all that Loki's cock rose and filled. Thor used the opportunity to suck it into his warm mouth again, licking the shaft up and down until Loki's hips bucked out of their own volition. 

The ability to catch a clear thought escaped the jotun more and more, until he felt his hole invaded and filled. Thor fingered him, exploring his heat that became slicker with each second. Loki's trembling legs were now spread widely while Thor worked him open and wet. 

Loki's fingernails left marks on broad shoulders when he pressed his head into the pillow with a drawn out moan when Thor found a sensitive place inside of him that shot fire from his lap into his whole body. Helplessly he twitched under him, gasping for air and holding onto the only thing available. Which was Thor. 

Then it stopped. Loki gasped for air and opened his teary eyes. His whole body felt so unbearably tight, as a bowstring ready to release the arrow, and so needy like he never had been before in his life. Thor was above him now, looking down on him with a strangely intent expression. His big hands cradled Loki's face almost tenderly while he watched his spouse. 

Loki opened his lips to ask what was wrong, to regain a bit of his posture and control, but he could not form words. Too much was his body in turmoil, his emotions out of his grasp and held by those strong hands. 

The aesir bowed his head and kissed him. Thor's tongue slid into Loki's mouth and in the same second something bigger filled him between his legs. The stretch was all that Loki could think about, how his pussy got filled without end until it spread tightly around the girth. Each sound he made was stolen from his lips while he twitched helplessly under Thor's bulky form. 

Thor slowly started to move. His mouth left small kisses on loki's lips his face and down his neck while the aesirs hips pushed and pulled slowly. It was so strange, the feeling of rubbing between Loki's legs, the fill and all that came with it, and still Loki found no strength to fight it. He just laid there and took it, experiencing in full force all these strange sensations in his body.

Thor moved faster now, his hips slapping against Loki's and the spot inside of him getting rubbed again and again. He heard himself gasp and moan, the moans turning into small cries as Thor wrapped his hand around Loki's cock to stroke it in the same rhythm. 

Everything became so tight, so tense, that every thought vanished from Loki's mind, until everything exploded in a firework of different sensations, spreading from his lap into his whole body. On the peripheral he experienced how his cock spurred liquid onto Thor's fingers and his own belly and how Thor grunted while his moves turned erratic but then all went black.

***

When Loki opened his eyes the sun streamed through the half drawn curtains into the room. He felt kind of numb, blinking to focus and gather his shattered thoughts. When he tried to orient himself, slowly the memories returned to him. 

The wedding! 

Obviously that horrible day, all the emotional turmoil and the alcohol had taken their toll. Loki had fallen unconscious. 

He sat up with a groan. He felt strangely sore between his legs and a sticky substance had dried there and on his belly. 

He gulped. Thor and he had… done things. After all that happened. The chain. And the casket. And Byleistr’s order to make a child.

Loki's hand landed over his mouth, catching he embarrassed gasp. More and more memories streamed into his mind. How he had writhed under the aesir, how Thor had licked and sucked him and how that had turned Loki into a mindless creature, arching his back and spreading his thighs, begging wordlessly for more. 

Both hands covered his face now, stifling a dry sob. How should he ever be able to face his husband after…  _ that _ ! 

At the thought of contact Loki's head swiped around to the other side of the bed. 

It was empty. With the sheets ruffled and the pillow used it showed that Thor at least had spent some time there, after Loki had fallen unconscious. Apparently he had got up early. Loki looked around. There was no sign of him, the ceremonial armor still where he had left it the other night. 

Well, what a relief. Loki was not forced to face him immediately. He thought frantically what to do. He could not leave the chamber! He could neither meet his husband nor the people of Asgard who had seen him in chains. He stared at the rumpled sheets beside him. For a short moment he pondered if he could simply pull the blanket back over his head and hide in here until Ragnarok dawned. Or jump from the balcony and get it over with - whatever seemed more convenient! 

Loki shook his head, deep inside he knew that all the denial held no meaning. He had to get up at some point and face at least somebody who could point out where to get something to eat. He had had nothing the whole day yesterday and his stomach grumbled. Loki even felt a bit faint because of it. 

He delayed it as much as possible but at some point his cramping belly made him leave the bed. After standing up however, the room started spinning around him. It was as if he had a fever, his body still strangely numb and his mind barely able to focus. 

"By Ymir's cold hands…" Holding onto the wall for balance Loki paused. Mere hunger should not make him feel this weak! He was jotun, he was used to leaving the table unsatisfied. 

After the war with Asgard the trade relations to other realms were highly constricted and that affected the availability of all kinds of goods. If the hauls went without success many people went hungry. So it could not only be the lack of food and the wine he consumed last night. 

Loki's eyes came to rest on the shackles. The blasted things sapped his magical energy. Could that be the reason for the feeling of weakness gnawing on him? He had never spent a thought on how the power of Yggdrasil worked in his body, but now that he was separated from it, he felt that he needed it like a fish water. 

It could not be helped, he had to do without. 

With a sigh Loki looked around the room, unsure. For the first time he regarded the chamber in detail. It was a spacious bedroom with floor to ceiling windows left and right of the headboard of the massive bed. The windows led to a balcony, broad enough to house a small gathering. Beside the bed the room was furnished with an make-up table and a small table where still the jug with wine from last night stood. With a sigh he let go of the wall and looked around for something to dress himself in aesir manner. He found a bathing chamber where he could get rid of the grime and a robe to cover himself.

Beside the bathing chamber there was another door. He remembered faintly that Byleistr had steered him through it last night but all else was blurred. Loki straightened his shoulders and pressed down the handle.

When Loki stepped into the next room a servant perked up.

“Good morning, royal highness.” she said and bowed slightly. 

Loki nodded in a reserved manner and stepped into the room. At first look it seemed to be some kind of living room. Cozy seating, furniture to store books and other things lined the room which also had a balcony. To his dismay he bookcases were mostly empty. 

“Good morning.” he answered, usure how to proceed. Luckily the servant had been instructed. 

“I brought your wardrobe, your highness, but I did not want to wake you. Her majesty would like to enjoy your company at breakfast after you finished.” She came closer and presented things to him she had draped over one of the sofas.

Loki squirmed on the inside. So his first meeting with the Allmother was scheduled. Hopefully she did not expect a report of the marital night. Then his eyes wandered back to the shackles. Frigga had indicated that Loki would be freed of them after the marriage. He nodded to the servant and let her help him get dressed. 

While Loki followed her to the queen’s chambers he held his head down. He was not eager to face other people, especially not after the disaster that had been his wedding, but thankfully they crossed nobody. The servant apparently led Loki through the more private areas of the palace and the hallways were smaller as the ones he had seen on his first days on Asgard. Nobody was around. 

His mind however, hung to the possibilities of the future. Maybe the Allmother could tell him how his life from now on would be structured and hopefully it would entail as less contact with Thor as possible.

Loki arrived in the queen’s audience room. The servant bowed to Loki and left him standing without another word. 

He was alone. Unsure he looked around but nobody was there, no servant and none of the queen’s ladies, let alone the Allmother herself. Loki fidgeted a little, unsure if he was supposed to call or wait or whatever, but then he could make out quiet voices beside noise of the fountain. They drifted from the balcony to Loki's ear. On slow steps he neared the opening, his feet making no sound. He was hesitant since he did not want to stumble into something he was not supposed to. Then he recognized the voice of the Allmother. 

"... it's not healthy! Please consider…” He could not make out every word but her voice sounded urgent. 

Odin was easier to understand since his voice boomed across the water noises. "There are more things among the nine realms that can be called dangerous! I can not show consideration for one single soul in opposite to thousands!" 

“There are more ways of killing a dog than by hanging!” Frigga gave back with emphasis.

Loki frowned. The proverb was unfamiliar to him, but it sounded unpleasant. Who was the dog in this case? He crept a bit closer, a uneasy feeling rising in him when…

A hand landed on his shoulder, starling a yelp out of him. 

"Is this the jotun way? Spying from the corner?" Thor asked and his face was grim. 

Loki gaped at him, overwhelmed by different feelings. The shock made his heart race in his chest. His cheeks heated up, from the fact that he had indeed been eavesdropping, but also from anger because he had not done it to spy on the royal pair. That Thor was so close, raised impressions from the previous night and that did not help with the chaos inside him either.

“I did not spy!” he defended himself. Thor raised a mocking eyebrow, his hands on his hips. Those hands, which had cradled Loki’s face while the hips…

Loki turned around, his face so hot he feared steam would start to rise from him.

“It looked like that.” His husband gave back, the tone annoyed. He stepped to the side to try to make Loki look at him, what he refused. Thor huffed in frustration. 

Before Loki could defend himself more, Thor shoved him forward, onto the balcony. 

"Good morning mother, father. I found Loki on the way. You wanted to talk to us?" 

Odin and Frigga looked as if caught. Frigga stepped back and smoothed her dress out in a nervous gesture before she smiled.

"Thor my darling. Good morning. Loki, welcome.” 

Loki held his eyes trained to the ground, hoping that his burning cheeks would not draw too much attention. Thor’s hand was still resting on his shoulder. 

Frigga invited them to a table laden with food. This time four chairs were prepared - this was supposed to be a family breakfast it seemed. To his utter relief Loki’s face had changed back to his usual aesir color when everybody was seated.

Odin sat across him, his face still dark. He resembled Thor in many aspects, the same grumpy, stubborn expression, just older and with an eyepatch. 

Loki focused on the food. This time it was not as much from his homeworld, but Frigga had seen to it that whey drink with nettles was available. He poured a glass and Thor leaned in to have a closer look. Loki gulped at the sudden closeness but let him see into the cup. Thor pursed his lips and focused on his own food, the sour, milky drink held little interest for him.

The breakfast went with pleasantries between Frigga and the others. The Allmother tried to keep the talk going, but had a hard time, since Odin was angry, Thor sulking and Loki embarrassed. Finally she sighed and put her napkin down on her plate. 

“Please leave as alone.” she said to the servant who stood ready to fetch anything the royal family might need. 

He bowed and then left. 

Loki noted that again the servant did not perform a deep bow, even if the king himself was present. He furrowed his brow, but then Frigga caught his attention again. She smiled at him.

“Odin and I were discussing the matter of the shackles." 

Odin looked as if he choked on her frankness. His face was dark when he turned to Loki. 

“How do you feel.”

Loki startled a bit but caught himself quickly. “I am well. Thank you.” he said and it seemed as if more was expected of him. Was he to give a report on his status? Why? 

Loki's eyes darted to Thor who looked at him with the same grim expression. He felt his cheeks start to heat up again. Norns, how often would that happen today.

“Loki, dear. Please don’t hesitate. Have you felt strange, since you’ve come to Asgard? Weak or somewhat unsteady?” Frigga said and her posture lost the strictness when she extended her hand. 

‘Strange?’ he thought and all that had happened rushed back in a moment. The heat and the glaring light at the bifrost site. Waking up in a changed body. Being married in chains. The Casket. The wedding night. What of all those things had not been ‘strange’?! 

Despite his raging feelings he maintained a calm facade and placed his fingers in her palm. The Allmother regarded him carefully. 

“Uhm…” Loki cleared his throat. “I’m indeed a bit faint. But I haven’t eaten much and the wine…” he tried to explain but Thor’s huff interrupted him. Frigga turned to Odin.

“I told you. Now you see for yourself. It is unhealthy!” Her eyes seemed to shoot fire and Loki had the urge to move out of range. 

But Odin answered with as much vehemence. 

“This is nothing I want to discuss in public, wife!”

“Me neither! Just stand by your word!”

"Not so fast. We need to decide what's best." Odin grumped, crossing his arms. 

Friggs’ chin was like steel, her glare of the same value as Odin’s. "I refuse to stand by and watch this going on. It's impossible!" she flared up. 

Odin and her stared at each other, none of them willing to give in. Loki licked his dry lips. 

"I'm in favour to do it."

All three of them turned to Thor who sat there with crossed arms, his chin forward, looking like a grumpy child. 

"Do you even know what you propose?" Odin jangled but Thor simply stared back at him. 

"I may not know the details…" he looked to Loki who watched him with a baffled expression. 

"... but I know as much: if I were forced to wear them and be cut of from my lightning…" he paused, looking for the right words. "... I'd hate it. So… get rid of them.” he explained and Loki’s eyes widened. Did Thor.. defend him in a way?

Odin seemed short of exploding, his head red. 

“You, of all people, should chose your words carefully, son!” 

Thor glared at him but before he could say something to escalate the situation further Frigga turned to him.

“Release him. The wedding is over and the bond sealed.” 

They stared at each other and Loki got the feeling that there was something transmitted in that glare that he and Thor had no access too. And then it was over.

“Fine! But you see to it that it works!” Odin snapped and made a gesture with his hand.

The shackles fell to the floor. 

Loki felt the energy of Yggdrasil rush through him like a wave. It was an euphoric feeling that almost lifted him from his chair. Gasping he swayed until Frigga steadied him, tears pricking in his eyes. 

Finally! 

Finally he was free again!


	11. Disregarded Feelings

After the breakfast Odin rose from his seat and pointed at Thor. "Follow me!" he barked and then his cape swooped behind him when marched to the door and left. 

Thor trotted behind, his sulking expression a anticipation of what was to come. He could feel how mad his father was when he followed Odin to his chambers, the older men's power radiating around him in angry waves. 

Inside Odin turned to him, his cape a billowing cloud. Thor regarded him with a stubborn look. 

"Have you ever, in the name of our ancestors, thought further than to the bottom of your cup?!" Odin barked and Thor felt the urge to sulk even more. It was as if he was a teenager again, getting his many flaws served on a silver platter. 

"If this is about the shackles…" 

"It is. Not!"

Thor's eyebrows rose at that. "What is it then?" 

"Did it occur to you that dragging your spouse on a chain to the wedding might be a bad decision? Have you ever listened to a word I said about diplomatic relations to other realms and the role your behaviour in public events plays in that?! Has it ever occurred to you that your royal wedding to a prince from a defeated realm could  _ be _ such an official occasion where the blasted entire worlds are watching every cursed step you make?!"

A vein on Odin's forehead looked ready to burst. 

Thor felt his cheeks heat up is if they were becoming cocking plates, but he refused to give in. 

"He was  _ cuffed _ . I only made use of that."

Odin glared at him. "I had hoped you would understand how irresponsible and childish your behaviour…" 

Thor tuned out the words that followed without losing eye contact. He knew this speech. He had heard it often enough to just endure it, because objections only made it worse. He was a disgrace, a disappointment, unworthy as Odin's son and so on and so on. Thor tried to ignore the sting in his heart, convincing himself that he was just annoyed by the relationship between him and the Allfather. Usually alcohol helped in that, but sadly it was too early in the morning to call for ale. 

"However. I need to smooth out the stir you created. Some of the realms asked questions if this is how a truce with Asgard looks like. And that is what your mother and I will do. Travel to meet with the leaders of the eight realms, to reforge our diplomatic relations."

Thor perked up at that. His father would be gone for weeks? He blinked. 

Odin nodded, his face thoughtful. 

"Yes, since you have been declared heir to my throne this means you are the regent until I return."

Thor's lips curved into a smile at that. To rule Asgard, even if only for a little while, seemed to be a great opportunity to show his qualities as future king and… 

"Of course your uncle will hold the lead. You are too young and reckless to fulfil the role. Tyr will oversee the court meetings with you and the council."

"But-... Father…!" 

"No, the decision is made. You can use the time and try to make amends with the people of Asgard who you have disgraced. Try to be the heir to their throne for once."

Odin seemed to be very pleased with his decision and - as usual - left when he had declared his wishes. He marched to a door that led to his personal rooms, leaving his son behind like a scolded child. 

Thor watched him go, without saying a word. 

Then a lightning bolt smashed the heavy, head-high vase by the door to a thousand pieces. 

***

Loki and Frigga sat at her balcony table. 

After the breakfast the queen had regarded him carefully for a while, checking on how the reimburse of his magic might affect him, but then she relaxed when Loki just chatted with her as if nothing major had happened. 

He still felt as if he had ants in his pants, his body drumming with energy,but despite the initial shock to be reconnected with Yggdrasil again Loki had gotten a hold on himself pretty quickly. To be able to maintain a calm and collected facade was the main quality in a royal child. He had learned that very early. 

To his relief his skin had stayed aesir. He had no idea how change into the aesir form on his own, let alone how to survive in the asgardian weather otherwise. 

The queen however, did not seem to know of his worries and spoke about other things. 

"So, I assume the aesir court is different from the jotun one. Different customs and rituals." 

"Yes. The customs are different. As far as I've seen here on Asgard. Until now." Loki nodded unsure. 

Frigga smiled and inclined her head. 

"Tell me. How are royal weddings done in Utgard."

Loki's fingers under the table gripped into his tunic, wringing the fabric on his search for words. 

"Uhm… Weddings are… much like here. Many guests and food and music."

Frigga blinked, her eyebrows rising.

"Well, you see Allmother. I have left the palace when I was young to life in a cloister far from the city. I'm afraid I'm not very familiar with the details of rituals at court." Loki lowered his head, embarrassed about the fact that he had been sent away from home like a dog. 

" I see… " Frigga mused." Well, then I propose to wait with your formal introduction until you caught on how it is handled here. Maybe it is a fortune that you are not biased. You can become accustomed to how the ways are in Asgard and adjust." She clapped her hands, smiling. 

Loki was not entirely sure if she was serious but he had no means to distrust her. So he nodded.

"I'd say it would be useful if you start to observe the council meetings. It is expected that you hold Thor's back when he is king and give him piece of advice if necessary. So you must learn the way it is handled."

Loki nodded to that too. It seemed to be the safest to just follow along with whatever she was suggesting.

"Everything else, like your own court and your duties as future Allmother will have to wait for Odin's and my return. Maybe you want to practice your spell work till then and show me when I'm back?"

"Of course, Frigga."

Truth to be told, Loki had no idea what she meant and to call him rather hazy about practicing spells would have been an exaggeration. But he nodded to that too, simply wishing for this meeting to be over. Even if she was friendly, he felt overwhelmed by Frigga's let's-get-things-done-approach and he had talked more this morning than in a few dass at home. His head started to spin. 

The queen did not notice his state of mind and continued to talk about Loki's wardrobe that would be delivered over the next days. He let it all wave around him and hung to his own thoughts.

Would he see Thor later? 

Not that he wanted to.

No!

It simply was… good to know what was coming his way. 

And if he was supposed to spend time with his husband was such a thing he wanted to be informed about. 

His husband who had spoken on his behalf. After all that had happened.

Loki's belly churned at the thought. Why by Ymir's name had Thor done that? Just because they were wedded now? Was this some kind of family responsibility? Or because of the… the shared night? Loki's brow furrowed at that. If Thor was more friendly because they had done marital things, Loki was not necessarily happy about it. Just because… well! This was nothing to think about he decided. And just because the aesir brute had done one thing right did not mean that Loki would forgive him his other deeds!

No way! 

If he truly wanted Loki's friendship he had to make serious amends for it! 

"Loki, dear. Is everything okay? Your eyes look a bit glassy" Frigga mentioned with a sympathetic frown. 

Loki snapped back into reality and blinked, his cursed face reddening again. This must be part of the aesir body, this pointless heating of his cheeks! 

"I apologize Allmother. I thought about how to fulfill my duties." He averted his eyes to conceal the lie but she seemed to believe him. 

"I have kept you far too long. You must feel wary on your first day after the wedding. Please, retreat to your chamber and find some rest."

Loki nodded and rose from his seat. He bowed in a polite manner and left to find his and Thor's chambers. It seemed that he was expected to spend his time in his rooms. At least this was the same as in Jotunheim. 

***

Thor arrived at the bifrost site, Volstagg and Sif by his side. All of them were dressed for the wild, weapons and equipment strapped to the horses. 

Heimdall watched them with his usual calm

"Good morning my prince. You plan to travel?" 

"Hunting trip. To celebrate my new living conditions." Thor looked over his shoulder, to the palace in the distance. "I'll fetch the greatest boar and present it to my lovely spouse." His voice was neutral when he said it, mocking his adoring words. Of course his anger was not directed at Loki anymore. Or not mainly. Odin had managed to gather this pride for himself. 

Heimdall inclined his head. 

"What about the Allfather's travels? The royal pair will leave Asgard in…" 

"I  _ know _ !" Thor gave back, heated. Then he calmed. "I'll be back the same day. Don't worry, Asgard will not be without lead." No, his father had seen to it. "Now step aside and open the bifrost."

Heimdall bowed his head and stepped to the platform that held his sword. It was not his responsibility to hold back the crown prince if he wanted to leave. 

With a grim expression Thor lead his friends to the traveling site and then there was just colors. 

*** 

Thor had not come back. 

Not that Loki had awaited him in their chambers. No way! 

But he  _ noted _ the absence. 

The fact that Thor did not sleep in their shared bed could only mean that he slept elsewhere. So apparently the wedding night had been the only one he was willing to share with Loki. 

The young prince sat by the window and tried to not think about where his husband had been the last three days but unbidden his mind compiled small pieces of information to present unwanted explanations. 

Maybe he had a concubine. A lover even, somebody he had been devoted to, before becoming betrothed by his father's will. Somebody he  _ wanted _ to be with. 

Admittedly, that was rather unlikely! 

Loki remembered clearly the night before the wedding, when Thor had found him in his chambers and mistaken him for a guest. How he had flirted and kissed his hand. The hand of a person he didn't even know! Right before he was to marry a foreign prince! That said all about Thor's character that someone had to know!

Loki pressed his lips closed, his eyes watching the mountains in the distance without seeing them. It was possible that Thor had spend each night since the wedding in a different bed! And while doing so, mocking Loki as his spouse and the whole affair of their so called relationship.

But why giving a damn during the wedding night and making Loki feel… wanted? When it wasn't the case? When he turned his back as soon as possible? Loki's belly churned at the memories of Thor's hands and lips on him. 

Well, there had not been exactly much light and the aesir could not see very well in the dark. So maybe the alcohol and the sense of duty had combined and made it possible for Thor to act as if loki was desirable. As if he did not find his spouse as hideous as anybody else. 

Loki swiped his hands over his face to get rid of the stupid wetness there. He could live with this. He could stand a distanced marriage. Even wished for it. Thor was a brute and a liar and what not. Loki would not make the mistake to be played with again! 

***

The snowflakes gave a little hiss when they fell into the campfire. 

It was dawning winter on Vanaheim and for a moment the group of friends had been tempted to just turn around and leave. Too much was the neverending snow and cold of Jotunheim still lingering in their bones. But then Thor had pushed them along, into the dark woods an with a bit of grouching Sif and Volstagg had complied. 

The winter was just in the beginning and the snow mostly melted over the day. It formed nothing more than a thin layer on the tops of the pine trees if the night was cold. And Vanaheim was nothing like the Jotun home. Even at the end of the year the woods were deep and lush and full of life, nothing like the barren wasteland they had spent way too much time in. After a successful hunt they sat by the fire, warming their faces and enjoying the sounds of the forest.

"I can't believe that we left before the wedding feasts were over!" Volstagg complained in the direction of Thor. "At least for three days the kitchens would have bloomed with their effort to praise the new crown pair. And we let that all go to waste!"

"I don’t think that because the three of us were not there means that everything got wasted. There  _ are  _ other people in the palace still, I believe.”

Sif laughed. “Don’t forget the amount dear Volstagg is able to devour alone! His argument is not without substance.”

Thor rolled his eyes. “I’d say the boar we shared here is way better than every dish they served in Asgard. It’s the outcome of our successful hunt, brought down by our own hand and cooked in friendship.”

"It was a good boar, indeed. Expertly roasted." Volstagg smoothed out his beard. 

"See. We don't need the luxuries of the palace kitchen. As long as we hunt together, we'll be fine."

Sif watched Thor’s face during the exchange. Thankfully he had calmed down after a few days of physical strain of the hunt and calm evenings by the fire. She knew him for some years and for her it was obvious that he had been close to his limits before they left. Even now this jesting exchange was mostly a sham. Something was on his mind constantly, bothering him, more than the usual. 

After the meal the three of them told tales of past encounters and shared a drink of spiced wine. The first to lay back was Volstagg and shortly after his snores accompanied the sounds of the fire. Thor however, seemed not in the mood to rest his head. He watched the flames, deep in thought, his fingers caressing the snow white pelt he had gained.

Sif gave him time. She knew that in talk as much as in battle it was always better to let Thor come first. To corner him with questions elicited a strong reaction, forcing him to push back and achieved nothing more than an explosion. To make him open his defenses one had to be patient and calm. She watched him, her head inclined, attentive and silent, until he stopped his sulking.

  
Sky blue eyes met chocolate brown.

Thor huffed. “Say it already.”

Sif grinned. “What shall I say?”

“What’s on your mind, of course!”

“Hm, let’s see…” she paused, still watching Thor’s face which was still closed off. “I must admit, as much as Volstagg I wonder…” 

Thor waited for her to continue, willing to listen.

“Why did you drag us here, right after the wedding? Not to hunt down snow wolves and boars, I bet. So why is it that we celebrate your new bond out here, alone?”

Thor huffed and redirected his gaze at the fire. He was silent for a couple of moments.

“I couldn’t stand to face my father for the time being.” 

Sif’s eyes widened. “That’s the reason? I-...”

“What?”

“Uhm… I thought you fled the proximity of your spouse.” she shrugged. It was no secret how Thor had spoken of him before the wedding.

To her utter surprise Thor’s cheeks heated up.

“No. In fact… if you had asked me four days prior, I would have said yes. But… I do not despise him as much as I did anymore.”

“Why is that?”

“I can’t say… Maybe…” Thor appeared as if he watched a memory before his inner eye.

“When I saw how his brother treated him, I wondered.

His eyes found hers again. “If he… carries the same burden.” 

Sif saif nothing, just watched him and waited for him to continue. It often took some time for Thor to find the right words, since he was - as much as Sif herself - more a person of the deed.

“I wondered if he too felt like drowning in his duties as a prince. Always under close observation. Just to... become a mere bargain chip in this war.” 

Sif nodded. It had never been easy to be the heir for Thor, that much she knew. In her eyes Odin’s expectations on his only child were unattainable and Thor had to live with the knowledge that he would fail, no matter how hard he tried. Maybe it would have been different, if he had any siblings, but that wasn’t the case.

“And what do you plan to do with this knowledge? When you return?” she asked, playing with the fur she sat on.

“I’m going to give him this pelt. It reminds me of Jotunheim. Maybe this can be a proposal for peace. Maybe we can… I mean…” Thor muttered and the color rose even more on his cheeks.

Sif smiled to herself. It was good to know that her friend did not despise his spouse as much as it had been expected. He even seemed kind of drawn to him, was a pelt of such quality and beauty way more than a peace offer though. Hopefully the jotun would accept it. If Thor had dragged her on chains to their wedding she would not let him get away with a pelt, no matter how perfect and soft. But she did not say that of course. Thor would find out soon enough.


	12. Returning To Asgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took some time! I was done over Christmas and had to catch some breath and then the chapter turned out to be difficult. But finally, it's finished! :D  
It also contains an Easter egg for those of you who know the amazing fanfictions of the lovely EndlessStairway. You're the best honey :*

Loki got up from the light breakfast the chamber page had served. He slowly grew accustomed to those habits, eating in his chambers instead of with the group of monks. It was a relief to be alone in fact, after all the small celebrations and dinners and meetings he had attended in the aftermath of the wedding.

The fact that Thor had left immediately after had forced Loki to attend all of those occasions alone, only in company of the Allmother, to make up for the crown prince’s absence. Loki accompanied Frigga to the meetings with dignitaries from other realms and to her ladies in waiting to learn a bit about his duties before she had to leave. A lot of guests were present and in need to be entertained and even if Loki did his best he could only contribute in small, since the customs were still strange to him. A lot of the things he encountered made little sense to him but he tried to understand. In the evening his head felt heavy.

Loki got dressed in green silk. In his chambers he only wore a tunic with nothing underneath. Nobody would see him but the page. Still unused to so much layers as were necessary outside of the rooms he preferred smooth fabrics and sleek weaves. If he ever would get used to heavy leather and metal applications was doubtedly. 

Soon Odin and Frigga had begun their journey to the realms. When the royal family and their entourage of servants, pages, cooks and porters left Asgard, it became more quiet in the palace. Without any obligations to attend to, Loki kept to himself as he was used to by his former life in the cloister. His only contact remained the page who attended to Thor’s chambers, even in his absence. The girl named Erla was shy but friendly and her silent nature made it easy for Loki to tolerate her. She brought his food and asked for his wishes, but he had no real idea what to wish for so her duties consisted mostly of seeing to it that the chambers were cleaned and Loki’s food brought in time.

Loki sighed and sat by the window in the shade, where the fresh breeze reached his skin. As soon as Thor was back it would become evident what the natures of his duties were. Until then Loki decided to rest and restore his magical energy after the long phase under the binding. He reached down into the source that welled deep inside him and felt the magical power. He still was not able to use it to bend reality but to just feel it was a joy he could indulge himself in.

It was better than to just sit and wait what the future would bring as soon as Thor sat foot back into the palace, that much was sure. 

***

Beams of myriad colors flared when the bifrost opened into the entrance chamber. With a blaze of light Thor, Sif and Volstagg stepped forward, accompanied by wind and snow. They came to an halt before the dais where Heimdall awaited them.

“Prince Thor, regent of Asgard and the nine realms. Welcome home!” the gatekeeper boomed and Thor, in the process of shrugging ice of his cape, halted. He raised an eyebrow. This formality in greeting was highly unusual for the man he considered one of his friends.

“Greetings Heimdall.” He gave back and then he saw the man waiting on the other side of the chamber. His uncle Tyr, the arms crossed over his chest and the face thunderous. So  _ this _ was where the wind was coming from. He barely managed to not roll his eyes. A couple of days he was late and Tyr already saw Asgard crumble to pieces.

“Finally I was able to see you through the storm, to get you back to Asgard safely.” Heimdall continued, giving Thor the perfect opportunity to explain why he was almost a week later than planned. 

Thor winked at the tall man with the sword before he stepped forward. “Indeed. The weather was horrendous. It is a blessing that your sight was sharp enough to get us out before we froze to death.” Just then he turned to his uncle. 

Tyr’s face was sour. He obviously had planned to let another kind of storm rain down on Thor for the delay as soon as he was back, but now he could not get het up – not when Heimdall proactively had taken the blame.

“Nephew.” He greeted and clasped Thor’s arm, the bushy eyebrows drawn together. “It’s good to see you back in Asgard. Urgent matters await your return. Follow me immediately!”

"Of course." Thor sighed but nodded. Over his shoulder he waved goodbye to his comrades. “I’ll meet you and the other two on the training grounds as soon as I’m finished.” He said before he followed his uncle. The pelt would have to wait. Somebody would clean and process the raw piece so that it was fit as a marvelous gift. 

Sif and Volstagg watched him go.

“I’m not envious about the role of the regent, I must admit.” Volstagg said, scratching his beard. Sif shrugged her fur coat from her shoulders, was it way too warm in the asgardian weather.

“Me neither. But everybody has to do what they must do.” She nodded to Heimdall in greeting. “All is well in the golden realm I suppose?” 

“Aye, even if lord Tyr seems to expect it differently…” 

***

Thor followed Tyr over the bridge and into the palace, flanked by guards of honor as if he was state visit. 

Despite the show of status and unnecessary fuss Thor felt somewhat calm. Even if the trip ended right in front of his angry uncle, it had restored some of the prince’s peace of mind and given him a grain of hope for the future. The worst had happened. He was married to a frost giant and now that he was up to his neck in it he was to make the best out of it, as Sif had pointed out. The jotun wasn’t even as bad as he had expected. He seemed well mannered and smart - and if he was honest with himself, Loki was hot. 

Maybe there was a small sting inside at the notion that Loki was not present to greet him after his journey but Thor decided to ignore it. They would talk about it. He would gift him the marvelous pelt and come to an agreement. If they both worked on it, they maybe could have some kind of truce between them. At least they had to spend a small eternity with each other. Maybe even friendship was possible. 

With that in mind Thor followed Tyr to attend to the duties of the regent, eager to prove himself as his father’s successor.

***

The sky over Asgard darkened rapidly the more the day moved on. In the early afternoon thick thunderclouds hang above the city, rumbling with restless energy.

“It does not seem to move too smoothly in the brain trust.” Sif mused while she watched Hogun and Fandral sparr. The others looked upwards too. Thor’s mood spread over Asgard again and it seemed to be only a matter of time until a lightning bolt would meet an unlucky target.

***

Thor stumbled into his chamber and closed the door with a whump. It was way after midnight and just a moment ago he had escaped his uncles clutches. Not even dinner had been an option to justify a break, no, over a plate of cold meat and bread they had discussed former battles and strategies, as if Asgard was on the brink of a new war, now that Odin was away for a few days. All Thor could do was endure. 

The living room was deserted. With the cold fireplace and the lights dimmed it seemed uninhabited and not very welcoming. Not what Thor craved for after the trip that had ended in a long day of meetings. 

His eyes fell on the white furr he had brought back for Loki. It was draped over one of the armchairs and looked undisturbed. The jotun had not paid attention to it it seemed. 

Thor's anger that had simmered on low temperature all day flared up again and redirected itself towards his spouse immediately. How dared he to not show up once and greet him?! Thor was his husband, he deserved respect from his spouse! But had Loki made any effort to meet him during the day? Had he attempted to lighten the burden as it was his duty now? No! And that's despite Thor bringing back a gift for him!

Thor slipped out of his cape and let it fall to the ground, the rustling loud in the quiet room. The heavy tunic was followed by his boots, rattling and tattling. The leather vambraces landed on the glass table, the metal parts with a clang that rang loudly in the silence. That finally stirred his spouse into action. 

The door to the sleeping chamber opened and Loki peeked out. He was wearing a smooth robe that hugged his slender body just fine and the hair flowed open over his shoulder like black silk. His face however, wasn't as lovely as his appearance. After the initial shock of seeing Thor - what did he expect though?! - his face turned into a cold mask. 

"I greet you, prince Thor." he said formally and bowed his head a fraction, stepping fully out of the frame. 

Thor answered with a sneer. "It's about time! I wondered if you turned into a statue while I was away!" 

"Pardon?" Loki crossed his arms and the cold demeanor fell away. Under the surface, he seemed to be as seething as much as Thor. 

Fine! 

"You heard me quite right! I expected you to greet me after my exhausting trip. But you were nowhere to be seen!" 

Loki looked as if his eyes were about to pop out of his head. He opened his mouth once, twice and closed it again. 

Thor continued, crossing his arms too. He felt that he had the upper hand. Loki just had to see reason. "Maybe you should pay more attention to your duties, now that you are the spouse of the future Allfather!" 

That was obviously the wrong thing to say. Loki's eyes sparked with anger.

"How  _ dare _ you! Speak to me like this! You… you bilgesnipe! As soon as you finished your necessities you-... you  _ buggered _ off to norns know where… leaving me behind to sort out the mess…!" 

Unexpecting of so much fury Thor was taken aback a moment. "What are you talking about?! What kind of mess could you of all people sort out anyway? I was about to arrive in time to act as regent but the weather held me back! And I did not bugger off as you pointed out so nicely! I went on a quest to gain a gift for my spouse!" 

He pointed his finger to the pelt violently. Now Loki must see reason! 

But he didn't. Even if it hardly seemed possible his face turned even more incredulous. 

"You left Asgard… full of foreign dignitaries. To hunt a beast? As a  _ gift _ ?!"

Thor straightened his shoulders. If Loki was about to melt because of the thoughtful gesture he masked it well… 

"You dumb  _ oaf _ ! I can't believe this!" Loki raised his hands as if he wanted to strangle him but decided else. 

Thor deflated, his anger coming back. The thunder that had loomed over the city the whole day came back with force, lighting the night sky. 

It made Loki flinch, but he held his ground. He pointed at Thor. 

"You posses the judgment of a cow!" 

"And you are as cold as a glacier!" 

"Thank you! I take this as a compliment!" 

"It wasn't meant as one!" 

"I'm not going to listen to this a moment longer!" 

Loki turned back to the bedroom door when a lightning bolt crashed into the balcony. With a yelp he cowered down, shivering. 

The air was charged and electricity played around Thor's hands. 

"Don't you  _ dare _ turn your back on me!" 

Slowly Loki rose back to his feet. 

Then he turned around. His hands shook but that was every sign he let out about how shocked he was. His eyes were cold and he held his head high. 

They stared at each other for a few moments. Then Loki seemed to come to an conclusion. The expression on his face sent a familiar stinging sensation through Thor's guts. Disappointment. 

"Why did you even bring a gift? When all you do is mistreating and threatening me?" 

Thor watched him and slowly the energy around him faded away. This was not how he had envisioned this meeting. As he had not planned on acting like this during the wedding. But had. There was something about Loki that made him mad in an instant but...

Loki watched him a moment longer, slowly getting his shaking hands back under control. He took a deep breath. 

"If you excuse me, your majesty." And with that he bowed slightly before he turned and left. The bedroom door closed with a click behind him. 

***

For a moment he Loki expected Thor to come after him, to punish him for his behaviour. But nothing happened. 

With angry movements he slipped out of the robe and threw it onto the floor. His heart still raced because of the shock. Everytime Thor's energy rose Loki felt drawn back to that moment in the courtyard, when the lightning had struck him down. How he laid on the ground, on his back, scrambling weakly to escape the brute above him. How Thor had raised his hammer to finish Loki off. 

He buried his face into the pillow. A brute. A savage. A beast! To fear and to despise! Nothing else! 

No sound came from the other room, no matter how hard Loki listened. Obviously Thor had left. 

'Probably to go back to one of his whores!' Loki thought and despite his gritted teeth tears flooded his eyes. Tears of anger, of course. What else should it be, raised his husband nothing else than fury in him! 

Only after hours Loki finally found some sleep. 

***

Loki's eyes felt sore when he woke up the next morning. The sun was high on the horizon and despite the urge to stay in bed he had to get up. It was unthinkable that word got out that he was lazing around in the sheets all day! So he put his feet onto the carpet and rose. A look into the mirror showed him messy hair and a pale face with puffy red skin under his eyes. 

Whatever. 

The only person to see him would be Erla and she never commented on his appearance. He tied the robe and walked over to the living room to use the bellpull to call for the page. 

Loki however, stopped in his tracks when he reached the other room. A slight snoring sounded through the room. A mop of blonde hair peeked over the armrest of the couch. 

Loki blinked, dumbfounded. Then he came closer on silent feet, peering around the backrest. 

Indeed. The crown prince and regent of Asgard slept soundly on the couch, his bulk barely having enough room. One arm hung on the ground. 

Loki swallowed, unsure what to think of this. Without noticing he smoothed down his hair a bit and looked around. Then he walked over to the bellpull to call Erla. Luckily the girl was quiet as a mouse when she stepped in and only her eyes widened a bit when she saw Thor sleeping on the couch. 

"Please bring two servings of breakfast today." Loki whispered to not wake him and she nodded with a smile. Loki watched her go, unsure if the fact that Thor and he would have breakfast together was a reason to smile. Then he slipped into the bath chamber to take care of his appearance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who found the Easter egg? :D


	13. Married Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who wondered: The easter egg is the page Erla. I borrowed her with friendly permit from EndlessStairway's fantastic Thrall Prince Series. If FrostIron and Slave!Loki is your thing, give it a go! 
> 
> The actual chapters need heavy plotting to get things going so maybe the story seems slow. I hope you find the chapter still entertaining <3

When Thor woke up the first thing he recognized was his hurting neck. 

Right. He had slept on the couch. 

With a groan he lifted his head, the stretch letting the joints of his neck crack loudly. 

The second thing he became aware of was a delicious smell right before his face. He opened his eyes slowly, squinting against the bright light. 

Bit by bit his vision cleared enough to recognize that the small table was laden with various foods and drink, a full breakfast awaiting him. His stomach rumbled happily. Then his gaze rose further and stopped on the figure of his spouse on the other side of the table. Loki sat there, clad in a simple dark green tunic, looking pristine like the dawn of a winter's day, his back straight and his face unreadable. "Good morning your majesty" he greeted with a barely notable bow of his head. 

Thor sat up with a groan. "G’morning… this… uh..." He cleared his throat and gestured to the delicious view in front of him. "Nice idea."

"I thought you'd be hungry after waking up, so I asked for another serving. Loki smoothed out his tunic. Despite his cool demeanor he seemed a bit nervous. 

Thor regarded him from head to toe. With the rosy skin and the silken clothes he looked absolutely like an asgardian. Well, not at all if Thor was honest. An asgardian would not hold himself with so much grace and sophistication. To lounge in the seat with spread thighs, talking loudly and throwing tankards to the ground was more the aesir style. Thor tried to tame his wild mane with his hands, recognizing what a rumpled figure he made. More thoughts found together in his sleepy brain, one after another.

Loki was… quiet. And well mannered. And elegant. His dark hair floated like silk over his shoulders and his slender fingers laid across each other on top of his thighs. The only skin he showed apart from his face and hands was the line of his neck that rose from the high collar of the tunic, pale and soft, inviting to be kissed... 

Loki became restless under Thor's intense gaze. "What?!" he asked in a squeaky tone and Thor looked up. 

The jotun prince squirmed in his seat and his brows drew together. Was that a blush on his cheeks. Loki averted his eyes, feeling clearly uncomfortable. 

Thor cleared his throat. Suddenly he felt kind of… laking. He blinked. With a irritated grunt he sat up and straightened himself to mimic Loki's upright posture. 

"Did you… uhm sleep well?" he asked and grabbed a piece of bread to occupy himself. Loki sniffed and started to pour juice into the cups. 

"Yes. Thank you."

"Glad to hear that."

Uncomfortable silence fell over them. Loki nibbled on a piece of fruit, his eyes drawn to the table while Thor watched him some more. What a mysterious creature his husband was. If somebody asked him what he had expected to be married to a jotun - this wasn't it. Was he even a real frost giant? With being so small and all that… 

“You’re still staring…”

"Why did you change your looks?" 

Loki brizzled at that. "Your mother did. My natural form is not suited for the climate on Asgard. So it was decided to change me to… fit in."

Thor listened and nodded. 

"Is it strange? To look so different?" 

That made Loki look up. His eyes searched in Thor's face for something mean but apparently he found nothing because a bit of the tension left his shoulders. 

"Yes." he conceded. "Yes it was very strange. In the beginning. But it has its benefits. My appearance should not be a bother for the aesir people."

Thor inclined his head and without thinking he let out the first thing that came to his mind about that. 

"You are very pretty."

Thor and Loki stared at each other. Thor felt heat creep up his neck. Loki opened his mouth and closed it again. 

A rap on the door interrupted whatever one of them might have said to that. A servant peeked in. "Good morning your majesties. 

Thor recognized him immediately as one of his uncles personal pages. He groaned. 

“Your uncle requests your presence highness." the young man continued, unaffected, and bowed his head. 

So much for a quiet breakfast Thor thought while he hurried to make himself presentable for the court. Loki watched him go, a rosy shine on his cheeks. 

***

Thor had left some time ago but Loki had done nothing else than pace the room without doing anything meaningful. His mind was on a loop, replaying the last thing Thor had said over and over again. 

_ "You are very pretty." _

Why by Ymir and the sacred ice planes of Svellnose would he say such a thing?! Again, for the hundredth time Loki felt his cheeks heating up. This stupid aesir body always did this without reason! 

Loki stopped his walk in front of the window. He looked outside without seeing anything. Why did Thor say such a thing?! To placate Loki? What for? Loki was at his mercy and their marriage was a farce and they both knew it. Thor had left as soon as possible, right after they had… they had… done stuff! Confusing stuff. Stuff Loki could not stop thinking about when he laid in bed alone. 

As he could not stop thinking about those silly words right now! Nobody had ever called him beautiful! He was a runt with hideous hair and a small, weak body. And on top of that, he was born a mage. A freak.

Of course, the monks occasionally had praised his scholarliness or his handwriting. But nobody ever had called him anything positive for just… existing. His appearance. It disturbed him deeply to hear such from the person he was married to. A person who had shown nothing but distaste and aversion towards him until then. 

Well, not entirely. 

Loki touched his neck with his fingers, remembering the feeling of Thor's lips on his fingertips, back then, on the night before the wedding. His cheeks starting to burn again. But Thor had not kissed Loki, hadn't he? He had flirted with a stranger, somebody he just met and found attractive. He had not thought of Loki back then and even more, he became angry when he found out that he had flirted with nobody else but his betrothed. It left a hot sting inside his guts that he tried to ignore. "It is not my fault that you are a dumb ox who does not recognize his own fiancée!"

So Thor had in fact not kissed  _ Loki's _ fingers. He had done that with a stranger, somebody who had caught his eye at random. 

Maybe this was it. In his aesir body Loki suddenly held a certain attraction to the crown prince. A gravitation Thor had felt right from the start, but that was in its core meaningless. Still, Thor had fought it in the beginning, but now accepted it. Maybe he just got used to Loki looking like this. And why not take advantage of it. Use the convenience. Loki was sure that Thor had other lovers. Maybe Loki's new form was just another body to him. Pretty. Desirable. Nothing special. 

A soft knock ripped him out of his dark spiraling thoughts. With a gasp Loki straightened his posture and turned. 

"You may enter" he said cooly and waited for the door to open and Erla stepping in. The girl bowed. 

"Shall I clean the table, your majesty?" she asked and Loki nodded. 

"Please. And then leave me alone. I'm busy."

She bowed again and got to work with quiet efficiency, while Loki stepped onto the balcony to divert his thoughts from these unpleasant events. 

***

Thor's life had become difficult since he was back from his hunting trip. His uncle demanded his attention all day. In every waking minute Thor had to think about a thousand things while most of it was set up prior and without his own opinion in the matter. Tyr had worked on Odin's side over thousands of years and was not willing to tolerate interference. On the other hand he seemed eager to use the time to teach Thor about handling Asgard’s laws and trade. But since he knew everything better they did not get along well in that matter. It was a tedious situation for both of them and the pressure at court rose with every day that Odin was absent. 

Thor used the little spare time he had to train his fighting skills. Defending Asgard's borders and freedom was his main responsibility as crown prince so he needed to stay in shape. And it gave him time to be with his friends and let off some steam. Without those he would have gone mad, that much was sure. 

It was already evening but still warm when he walked back from the wrestling with Volstagg. Both of them were sweaty but in a good mood, joking about how Volstagg's belly was a weapon itself in a one on one match on the sand.

They sat down by the rings side with Hogun and Fandral, who had been sparring with each other too. Hogun passed the water bottle over to Thor while Volstagg leaned against the stove steps and closed the eyes against the dying sun. 

"Good to see that you use the time that I'm absent wisely" Thor grinned and pointed to Fandral's frame that was littered with bruises. "I would change each of them for a minute in the council room."

"He did not get them from sparring though." 

"Nay? What else then?" 

All eyes rested on fandral. He grinned. 

"I befriended a Valkyrie. Or try to. But she said I need to defeat her in combat before she goes out with me."

Thor shook his head. It was good to see that at least with his friends everything was as it should be. 

Everybody talked about Fandral's newest attempt to bed somebody dangerous but Hogun only watched them quietly. 

Thor regarded him a few moments. 

"What is it my friend? You look even more broody than usual."

Hogun frowned. Fandral seemed to know what irritated him but he only shrugged. Thor looked from one to the other.

"What is it? Has something happened while I was occupied? Tell me, my friend."

Hogun looked over his shoulder, as if to check that nobody was listening. He clearly was uncomfortable, which was highly uncommon. 

"I wonder, my prince…" he began. "I was asking myself what the wedding gift you received from Jotunheim was about. Isn't this the relic whe looked for in that secluded fortress?"

Thor's face turned grim.

"It is. And I was as baffled as you."

Hogun kept silent and exchanged a look with Fandral. 

"I wonder how all this fits together." Fandral continued, gesturing wildly. "This can't be a coincidence! When we raided the fortress, Volstagg and me found the jotun prince in the chamber right under the tower top where the relic was supposed to be hidden."

Thor's eyebrow rose. "What are you implying?" he asked and Fandral squirmed in his place, clearly feeling uncomfortable. 

"Well," Hogun continued. "When you've been away, nobody has seen your spouse. Except a few occasions in the beginning where he attended the queen. And since you're back even that isn't the case."

"Neither for breakfast nor dinner is he seen in the hall. I checked the stables, the library and the gardens while Hogun searched for him in the training grounds and court chambers. Nobody knows where he spends the day. As if he is swept away from Asgard's face. Or… "

Thor let the bottle down." Or what?"

Fandral shrugged." Or as if he is busy sneaking around to find a way into the vault. Or into the chamber of secrets."

It was Volstagg who spoke what everybody thought. His face was serious. "Are you accusing him of  _ espionage _ ?“

"All I'm saying is that it is strange that nobody knows what he is doing all day. And with the casket around, I wonder… he  _ could _ be some kind of spy, and now that the Allfather is away..."

Thor looked from one to the other. It was a very serious accusation but he knew his friends. Hogun would not say all this if he was not worried. Even Fandral and his mischievous nature would not accuse somebody of treason for noting. Despite it seemed ridiculous.

Why had the jotun been so happy to marry Loki off to Asgard in the first place? And why had Odin accepted, even if the giants had been defeated. He could have just forced them into a truce, without bonding through marriage. And then the new king gifted them the casket. All of this was… strange. 

He could not say that he knew Loki well enough to deflect the accusations. 

All eyes were on him. Thor cleared his throat. 

"I'm sure there is a simple explanation for this."

Still his friends looked at him. 

"He has to be somewhere during the day. Keep your eyes open. I will do so too, in case he behaves suspicious. And then we'll see what this is all about."

*

When Thor came back it was even later than the night before. His head felt heavy and full of talking and lessons and the accusations. On the way back from the training grounds Tyr had waited for him to discuss urgent matters. Apparently he tried to solve every issue Asgard could face over the next decade while Odin was away. Tired to his bones Thor trotted into his chambers. 

Well, not only his chambers anymore.  _ Theirs _ . Would he ever get used to this? 

Thor’s mind wandered back to the morning and the shared breakfast that Loki had arranged to be sent to their chambers. What a thoughtful gesture. It was way more private than to eat in the great hall, speaking of a wish for intimacy. Maybe this was his way of greeting Thor back home instead of waiting for his victorious return on the rainbow bridge like an aesir wife would have done. He would ask him if the occasion came up. 

It was dark and the living room only lit by the aurora and the stars. It barely was bright enough to see where he was going without stumbling over the furniture. He sighed and started to strip off his clothes in the living room to not wake Loki at this hour of the night. Was he even there? Or was he sneaking around the palace, like Thor’s friends accused him of. 

Thor entered the bedroom and closed the door as quiet as possible. No sound was to be heard when he neared the bed, only the quiet rustling of the carpet under his feet. The sleeping form of his husband was there, curled on his side, as far away from Thor's part of the bed as possible. Only a pale shoulder and the dark hair were visible, the rest was covered with the blanket. As if Loki was cold, despite being a frost giant. 

Thor stood by the bed and watched his husband sleep for a couple of moments. This was not how he had envisioned being married. Truth to be told he had no idea what he had expected. But not this. There was a longing for something else, but he could not grasp it. 

With a quiet sigh Thor laid down on his side of the bed. With a hand behind his head, resting on his back, he felt lost in thought. 

So much stood between them already. The accusations, the inability to talk more than a few words without a fight, all that had happened around the wedding. In fact Thor would have been the first to admit that he was not very well suited to foresee the future or the outcome of his deeds. He often acted without thinking which was a great advantage in battle. Just moving, without doubt or fear often led to victory. He was a man of action through and through, of moving forward in order to deal with the outcome later. 

Well, that had not been wise in regard to his wedding and all that came with it. 

Anyway, be it as it may there was nothing he could do about it now. He closed his eyes. 

Another day another chance to clear things up between them. 


	14. Spying On Each Other

The next morning wasn't as lovely as the day before since nobody woke Thor with breakfast. Loki was nowhere to be seen. Thor assumed that he was probably already sitting in the hall over his meal like any other resident of the palace and got up to join him. 

The page Erla awaited Thor with his clothes and while he got dressed his friends words about Loki sneaking around came back to him. Somehow the accusations sat not right with him. Asgard was full of guards, where should Loki go to where nobody could see him. Hogun’s and Fandral’s fantasy was playing them a trick, Thor was sure. And even if Loki was looking for secrets. He was just one jotun. What could he do, even if he tried? 

Erla helped Thor to close the clasps of his breastplate and saw to it that his cape flowed over his back like it should. Then she stepped back, smiling. Thor left his chambers, heading to the common rooms, shaking off the nagging feeling that something important was right in front of him without him seeing it. 

Thor expected to meet Loki in the smaller hall, where the royal family and their kindred held their meals together, but he found only Sif and his uncle there, having breakfast with some nobles. Apparently Loki was already attending to his business, whatever that was. Thor had hoped to talk to his husband, but that had to wait it seemed. At least they were about to share a few millennia together, so no need to rush things, no?

Thor pressed his lips closed before stepping up the dais to join Sif and Tyr. He forced a smile on his face when he took a seat. 

“Good morning uncle, Sif.” he said. The table on the head of the chamber was reserved for the royal family only and overlooked the room pretty well. And even at closer inspection Loki was nowhere to be seen. 

Sif seemed relieved to see him. Apparently she had been the one to suffer Tyr’s tirads for some time now and and as soon as Thor turned to them she got up.

“Greetings Thor. Well it's getting late. I’m going to see to the guards schedule. Your majesty. Father.” she greeted and went on her way, leaving then behind. 

Thor grimaced. She only called him majesty when she was mad at him or when he was about to get his ears pulled by Odin or Tyr. 

“Good morning, nephew. Good that you decided to get up a bit earlier than usual, I have urgent matters to discuss with you.”

“Is that so, uncle. I can hardly wait what is coming my way!” Thor gave back with a forced smile. Another round of checking the existing documents of asgardian law that dated back to the beginning of time itself?

“Yes, indeed. Today we will welcome the ambassadors of the nine realms who reside in the palace. Even in absence of my brother we need to discuss matters at hand. Important decisions need to be made." He clasped Thor's shoulder." All of Asgard will look upon us today.”

Thor perked up. That sounded good, almost like doing something instead of just watching dry ink. The prospect even managed to chase away his dark thoughts on other subjects at hand. 

“I see, you look forward to it.” Tyr smiled. He seemed pleased for once.

This was the beginning of something new, Thor felt it in his bones. Finally his uncle deemed him ready to overtake some responsibilities of the regent. To negotiate with the other realms and forge new alliances. The first step to become king after his father.

“I do uncle! I do!”

*

Thor’s fingers clawed into the armrest and a small creaking sound answered him when the wood attempted to give way to his anger. The day had gone to hel pretty fast. 

The prince’s eyes bore into his uncle who sat next to him, talking with the round of the council members. And that was all what was happening in fact. Tyr talking. 

Everytime Thor had tried to get a word in to offer his opinion of one of the topics, his uncle had moved forward and monopolised the conversation. At one point he even had reinterpreted something Thor said into the opposite. It was to climb up the wall!

A dwarf spoke at the moment, talking about goods his realm intended to trade and how much of it should be the levy. Thor listened to it, but he could barely focus because of the anger boiling inside of him. All that the dwarf said was nonsense anyway! Well, he would give it one last try.

“I don’t think that this new approach you suggest is in benefit of-...” he started but Tyr held up is hand, by chance blocking the line of sight to the dwarven ambassador. 

“Thank you.” He turned to the dwarf. “What my nephew is expressing is that tradition has its worth. But we understand the need for change, my friend.”

Thor eyed him as if Tyr had grown a second head. One ambassador coughed into his hand. 

"Uncle, a word in private!" Thor grit out between his teeth. Tyr eyed him with irritation, but after an apologetic smile into the round he stepped away from the table to follow Thor into a corner of the room. The ambassadors watched them from the other side indignation or surprise playing on their faces. 

"What is it Thor? We're in the middle of-..." Tyr began but Thor interrupted him. 

"What is my role in this exactly?!" he hissed as quiet as possible. Tyr raised his eyebrows. 

"Well, you are the heir and with that the regent of Asgard in Odin's absence-..." 

"So if I am the regent. Why do I not decide a single thing? You do not even feign as if my opinion holds any importance, don't you?!" 

Tyr lifted his eyebrows. 

"You want to make decisions?“ Thor nodded but his uncle only pursed his lips. 

"And based on what? Do you know these dignitaries for hundreds of years?" 

"Well, no but-..."

"Their quirks and specifics?" 

"No. But-..." 

"Former negotiations? Past agreements?" 

"Uncle-..." 

"Don't 'uncle' me, Thor, I will not-...!" 

A knock on the door interrupted the impending doom. Thor and Tyr, both already red in their faces turned around, barking "Yes!" simultaneously. 

The door opened and to Thor’s utter surprise it was Hogun who stepped in. He bowed his head in greeting. 

"Why do you intrude in this private affair?!" Tyr demanded to know but Hogun wasn’t intimidated in the slightest. He knew the Borson’s and Odinson’s long enough to deal with that temper. 

"My lord, your majesty. I apologize for interrupting. I found the regents spouse roam about the political wing. He said he wanted to attend this council meeting." His eyes met Thor's and despite Hogun keeping a straight face Thor saw what was on his mind. 'What a coincidence…'. The chamber of secrets was located in the same wing as the council room. And Loki wandered around alone just by accident.

"Then let him in." Tyr demanded, clearly impatient with all those interruptions. He turned to the ambassadors again. 

"Dear friends and colleagues. I apologize for the delay, but the future queen of Asgard wishes to attend to this meeting." he opened his arms, slipping back into the role of an aesir politician with ease. 

Thor's eyes however, rested on the door where Hogun had disappeared. 

Loki stepped in, his back straight and only his searching eyes betraying his nervosity. He bowed his head in greeting and clasped his hands in front of himself. 

“I bid you good morning. Please accept my apologies for being late.”

Tyr only gestured him closer. “Come here your majesty. You, uhm, you can have my seat, there is just one chair for each person, so uhm…” he mumbled, clearly uncomfortable with the solution. But Loki raised his hand, smiling. 

“Oh no, please, I do not wish to cause troubles. I’m a guest and uninvited on top of that. Please handle the meeting as if I wasn’t even there.” 

Thor, observing the conversation, recognized that for the first time he saw Loki smile. He blinked. It was beautiful. As soon as Loki caught him staring however, it vanished. He made his way over to the arched window, where he waited with his head high and his posture straight as a statue. 

Thor pressed his lips closed and marched back to his own chair. The fact that this embarrassing show of his own impotence would continue under the eyes of his husband soured his mood further but he vowed to himself to not let it show again. 

Back at the table Tyr bid the dwarven ambassador to continue and soon the negotiations regarding the new trades started again. 

Thor let it wash over him, his thoughts steering to Loki. He could watch him from his place, standing by the window. He did not even look at the table but Thor saw that he listened closely. He was keeping his posture without wavering once, even when the meeting lasted longer and longer. He clearly was used to keep up this facade for long durations occurred to Thor. It was an act that hid his true feelings like a mask. He was way better in this than Thor himself, who could not keep his agitated emotions to himself for long. But Thor had seen Loki's other side too, yelling at him and calling him a bilgesnipe. His mouth corner twitched at that memory. His spouse hid a volcano under that cold shell. 

But that did not answer the question why he was here in the first place. To sneak around? Or truly to attend the meeting? And if so, to what purpose? Would it be of interest for a spy to know of the things that were talked about here? 

Certainly. 

All of that was nothing Thor wanted to consider. But if it endangered Asgard he had to pay attention to it. He himself had held jotun capable of every missdeed only a few weeks ago. 

After the meeting Loki excused himself and left before Thor could tear himself away from the dignitaries. Even as he searched for him in the hallways and rooms around the council, he was nowhere to be found,as if he had vanished from the earth with magic. 

Thor, his face grim, decided that he would find out what this was all about. Maybe his father had been right to pray caution in regard to loosening Loki's shackles. He was a seidmarer after all and those could not be trusted. But even if he wielded magic, Loki was no ghost. He had to be somewhere during the day and Thor knew exactly who to ask for information. 

"Tell my uncle I can't attend the lunch with the ambassadors." he instructed a servant. "I need to talk to Heimdall." 

*

Fandral and Volstagg met Thor in the courtyard when the sun touched the horizon. He dismounted his horse with a frown and handed the reins to a stable boy.

“Did you find him?” Thor asked as soon as his friends reached him and made them stop short. 

“Not a single trace. Hogun is still on the way. But Heimdall-...” Fandral began, for once not cheerful and light. Thor shook his head.

“Nothing. He said he haven’t looked for him since he arrived in Asgard but right now he is not able to find him!” he said while entering the palace.

Fandral gaped at him and even Volstagg looked concerned while they followed along. 

“If the all-seeing gatekeeper can not find him… that is vile magic and powerful at that!” 

“What shall we do?!” 

Before Thor could answer however, Erla came over. 

“Good evening majesty.” she cheeped and bowed. It was an unusual bow because she bent so much over that her neck was visible.

Thor stopped short.

“Erla. What happened?” 

She blinked at him. “Nothing, your majesty. Why?”

“You look as if you came with bad news. Or pleading for grace.”

She frowned but then it dawned on her what he meant. “Oh, prince Loki told me that this way of bowing is more proper in front of you as our future king. More polite.” She clasped her hands timidly. It was clearly written on her face that she feared she had done something wrong.

Thor shook his head, pushing the thought aside. There were more pressing matters at hand than Loki teaching Erla jotun manners.

“Do you know where he is? Prince Loki?” he asked urgently. 

“Yes your majesty.”

“Where?!”

“In-... in your chambers. I brought dinner to him about half an hour ago.” Now Erla was growing pale and her dark eyes huge in her soft face. “Shall I go and call him?”

“No. Thank you. I’ll go and see him myself.” Thor waved her away.

“In our room, huh? That could be an explanation.” he said more to himself. Fandral and Volstagg stepped closer. 

“What do you mean?”

“Heimdall is not able to see the inner chambers of the royal family. Mother insisted…” he said and a smile played around his mouth at the memory. Frigga had made clear that she would not be watched in her bedroom and extended the spell that forbid Heimdall insight on her son’s chambers too, no matter what Odin thought on it. “So as long as he is in there, he is out of Heimdall’s sight.”

Volstagg crossed his arms. “Yeah. But we haven’t seen him since he arrived. Nobody sits in his chamber everyday.” 

Fandral nodded, raising his eyebrows. “One would get mad! What is he doing I wonder?”

“Well, there is only one way to find out.”


	15. Taking Steps Forward

Loki looked up startled when Thor entered the living room. He had not expected him so early and got up from his seat. 

“Husband.” he greeted, but the words almost stuck in his throat. The air was charged and Loki had the feeling that this was about him. He easily recognized the signs, was he no stranger to what it meant when someone was upset about him. He knew that from home. More than once had his sire regarded him in such a manner after he had called him. Often it was about something that had happened because of his magic. Even if such stopped once he started living in the cloister, the experience had branded itself into Loki’s subconsciousness. 

'I haven't done anything. Just relax' he told himself but it sounded hollow. He clasped his hands in front of his belly and bowed his in greeting head, to not draw any more anger. 

Thor’s face was unreadable but he slowed his steps when he neared. “Loki. Here you are.”

“Yes. Did you look for me.”

“Indeed, I do.” 

Loki waited nervously. Thor was close now, close enough to grab him if he wanted but Loki did not move back. The crown prince's eyes wandered over the remains of Loki’s meal. Why could he not shake the feeling of being caught in something he had not been allowed to do? He swallowed and tried to stay calm.

“So… what is it? That you came for?” 

“Erla said you took your dinner here.”

Loki blinked and then nodded, the anxiety rising further.

“Yes.” 

“Why?”

“Uhm, I beg your pardon." Loki frowned. "I must eat.”

Thor crossed his arms. “Of course you do. That is not the point.” Suddenly the tension lessened a bit when curiosity overtook the crown prince’s features.

“But why do eat  _ here _ ? Alone in our rooms?” 

“That-... I…” Loki began. Then it dawned on him. “Isn’t that how it is done here? Your mother invited me for breakfast in her rooms several times and I thought…”

Thor carded a hand through his hair exhaling.

“Ah, no. In general meals are served in the hall. Only the ill eat in their rooms. And mother occasionally, since she is vanir and this is a thing there. Everybody wondered why you do not join the inner court for meals.”

Loki felt his cheeks heating up - a familiar sensation by now. He averted his eyes.

“I apologize. I didn’t know that.” ‘And you have not been here to tell me!’ he thought, but since Thor stayed civilized he did not want to stoke his anger. The hard fist that was his stomach only started to loosen up. 

“No harm done. I wasn’t aware that our customs are so different from yours. We will attend breakfast and dinner together tomorrow.”

“As you wish.” At this point Loki was merely trying to get through this awkward conversation and disguise his cluelessness. He had left the palace when he was not really a teenager and then lived in the cloister, apart from the capitol. He only had a very vague idea what was custom at the jotun court, let alone what was appropriate here on Asgard. He waited for Thor to continue and the uncomfortable feeling returned. 

A knock on the door interrupted them. Erla peeked in. 

"Shall I clear the table, your majesties?" she asked, still nervous about Thor's unusual mood earlier. 

"Yes, come in. And bring me a serving too, I'll also have dinner here today." Thor decided and Loki used the opportunity to step away from him. He sat down on the couch as if that was what he had planned all along while the girl started to gather the remains of his food. 

Thor disappeared in the bathroom and came back in casual clothes, his face and hair damp. Luckily the food did not take too long so the prince was occupied while Loki sat by his side in the awkward silence. 

Thor was about to finish his meal when Loki got up. He decided that he had spent enough time with being polite and quiet today and bowed his head.

"Please excuse me. I'm tired and will go to bed early. Good night."

Thor bade him good night too and Loki felt his gaze on him when he walked over to the bedrooms door. He closed it quietly and only then indulged himself in taking a deep breath. 

*

Loki laid awake for about an hour until his fine ears recognized the sounds of Thor walking around in the living room. The quiet noises indicated that he undressed and switched off the lights. 

Loki waited, barely breathing, when the door to the bedroom opened. His husband's steps were surprisingly soft and the door closed with a barely audible click. Unusual for Thor's usually so rowdy character. 

Loki dared not to make a sound in order to not give away that he was still awake. He laid on his side, listening to the small sounds his husband made in the room. Shuffling around, footsteps on the soft carpet, low breathing. 

Then nothing. 

Loki gazed into the darkness holding his breath. 

Was Thor standing by the bed? Was he watching him? Why? Or was he doing something else? Had he left again and Loki had missed it? 

The beating of his heart was so loud in his ears that Loki could not make out a single sound. He was so tempted to turn and have a look, to make sure if he was alone or… but then the bed dipped. Only the fact that Thor rustled with the sheets as he laid down masked how Loki involuntarily gasped and stiffened under the covers. 

Would Thor try to touch him? Was this why he came home early today? To spend the night here and not elsewhere in order to… Loki's heart started to beat faster. 

But nothing happened. 

Thor settled on his back and after some time his breath deepened. He was asleep. 

Loki laid awake, unsure how all this made him feel.

*

Thor woke to the quiet rustling of his husband dressing. He groaned. It was way too early, the sun barely peeking over the horizon. 

"Good morning." Loki said, sounding a bit breathless, as if caught doing something unsavory. 

"By the norns, are you always up this early?" 

“Uhm, yes. The monks rose very early to use the bright light as much as possible."

This sentence held so much information that Thor had to sort it out one after another. He sat up, carding his fingers through his wild mane. 

"Monks?" he asked and Loki stopped dead. When he turned there was irritation clearly written all over his face. 

"Yes. Monks." He waited a moment, but thor regarded him with his unchanging lack of understanding. "The people I lived with. In the cloister. That you raided." he explained as if Thor was a bit dumb. 

"That was a cloister?!" 

Loki watched him as if he had stated that sheep were flying. His face would have been funny if Thor wasn't aware that he was about to break the night pott over his head. 

"What in Ymir's name did you think it was?! There were no weapons, almost no defenses…!" 

"What are you talking about?! Of course they were armed. They fought with those weapons made of summoned ice!" 

Loki gaped at him. "But they were no army! They only defended their lives!" 

Thor remembered with a growing unpleasant feeling that indeed the Jotun fought like farmers or… monks, apparently. 

"I thought they show so little skill because they are-..."

"We are  _ what _ ?!" 

'Savages' Thor had at the tip of his tongue but he was wise enough to swallow it down. 

"Big. And thus dangerous. Even without weapons or proper strategy." 

Loki's look articulated clearly that he did not believe him, but then he sighed and grabbed the belt. "It was the cloister of the frozen flame, seat of the sacred casket of winters. And I lived there and got up early." He tied the belt, averting his eyes. "I wait for you in the living room." And with that he left Thor alone. 

The crown prince rubbed his face. That hadn't went so well. 

Monks, huh? By the norns, why had nobody told him that? 'Go and raid the fortress, we need to obtain this casket' his father said and thus he had done it. 

He got out of bed to find some clothes, still thinking about Loki's words. Being married to him turned out to be way more complicated than Thor had thought. If they even could make it through a single conversation without a fight was the question. 

*

The mood between Thor and Loki was tense during breakfast and not only due to confrontation in the morning. Also the amount looks Loki got from other tables weighed on them. The court was curious about the crown prince's jotun spouse and their stares not very subtle but Loki did not show any sign of concern. He sat straight, eyes on his plate, ignoring them. The pair did not exchange much words over meal. 

Thor wasn’t fond of attending to the next council meeting together again, but it could not be helped. Tyr had found them on the breakfast table, more than pleased that his nephew was awake this early, and invited Loki to the second day of negotiations. The jotun price accepted gracefully and so it was settled. 

It was right after breakfast when they walked side by side to the council room, Loki attracting the curious gazes of everybody they passed. 

"Why did you attend in the first place? The meeting yesterday?" Thor asked in the way of a casual remark. 

Loki, giving the perfect example of a dutiful and obedient wife did not look at him when he answered. "Your mother told me to get aquitanced with the court and the tasks of the royal pair. She expects me to support you in political affairs." 

Thor's eyebrows rose but he said nothing against it. He wished his mother had talked to him about it, but it could not be helped. In regard to making desicions for other people Frigga was just as Odin. He said nothing more to the matter however, and together they entered the council room to listen to Tyr and the ambassadors talk. 

*

The sun was low when they were able to leave the chambers of negotiations again,both tired of long hours of listening to the ongoing trade discussions. The council meeting had gone like the day before with Tyr on the front lines, 'interpreting' the regents opinion. Thor grunted and stretched his shoulders. Then he turned to Loki who, unfairly, looked rather fresh. 

"And? Did you learn something?" Thor asked, his tone not entirely free of mocking. 

Loki, who walked beside him, watched him a moment, considering his answer. 

"Yes, thank you" he finally said. "It was quite informativ." 

They walked a bit further away from the council room where the hallways grew more quiet. 

"I suppose I need to attend more often to get behind some of the desicions however…" 

That made Thor perk up from his gloomy brooding. "For example?" 

"Well, the renewal of the trade contracts with the dwarfs. It seems as if the previous arrangement is way more fortunate than what they propose now."

Thor's eyes went wide and he turned to Loki. 

"Right? That's what I thought when the dwarven ambassador laid out the plan in the first place! Why change the conditions if they are not as good as the ones we had before?"

Loki returned his excitement. "And the ambassador glossed over it with all his talk about the role of the new mining laws and all that but that isn't related to the old contracts of trade and levy!" 

"Exactly-... What?" Thor stopped in his tracks. 

"The mining law may be of utter importance to organize the dwarven society and everyday life but it never had effects in regard to the sovereign." Loki explained, his cheeks and eyes glowing. Thor however, frowned. 

"Where do you know that from?" 

Loki blinked. "A book?" 

"Is that so…?" 

Loki's eyes grew small. "Yes." He cocked his chin and the excited mood between them faded. 

"Which one?" 

"The Liber Artis!" Loki's eyes became small. "Do you want to see it by chance?!" 

Thor raised his hands. 

"Calm down. I'm just asking." 

In fact the knowledge that Loki possessed over the other races stoked his suspicion again. Loki had never been in the library. Thor had checked. But a spy would not give away this knowledge so easily, right? 

"Where did you find it?" 

"In your study!" Loki defended himself, clearly feeling that Thor suspected him of something. "There are some books about these things. Politics and trades of the realms, diplomatic relations and… and… I thought it was okay to take them since those are our shared rooms and…" 

"Why would you  _ read _ such?" Now Thor was truly baffled. 

Loki's face fell. "What else is there to do? If I would not occupy myself with such, I would go mad."

The stared at each other for a moment. 

"I'd suggest you show me those books." Thor conceded and together they walked to the martial chambers. Slowly an idea what this was all about rose in him but that needed confirmation first. 

*

"So… since our marriage you've spent your days in here. Reading the books available."

Thor regarded the small study that was part of the chambers he shared with Loki. A shelf contained books someone - probably Tyr - had stored there for the crown prince to educate himself on certain topics. Of course Thor had never spend a single minute in here. 

Loki stood by the door, nervously picking on one fingernail. He clearly expected his husband to be angry with him, the Norns knew why. Thor however, was just baffled. And a bit helpless. 

"It's, what, three weeks now? Why haven't you said something?" 

"The first few days I followed your mother to different occasions. And… who should I have been talking to?" 

Thor cringed on the inside. 

"Erm… nevermind". He crossed his arms thinking. "Erla could have shown you around. You could have spent your time in the garden. Or the training grounds." Anywhere but in his chambers all day. To Thor this was equally to the worst punishment! 

But Loki just watched him. 

"What for?" 

"What do you mean 'what for'? To be outside. To train. To have fun!" 

Loki averted his eyes. "I never have been educated in the use of weapons, if that is what you're talking about. In the cloister it was expected for me to be in my room". 

When he looked up however, he was startled by Thor's grave expression. 

No weapons training? Being inside all day? Every day?! Thor in his place would have felt as if buried alive! He stared at Loki with wide eyes and for the first time he truly felt compassion for somebody. Or what else should this strange feeling in his belly be? 

"Follow me!" 


	16. New Feelings

Thor dragged Loki out of the chambers and through the hallways into the nearest garden. They stopped between plants higher than a man, the colorful flowers scentening the air with sweet richness. 

Loki wrapped his arms around himself and eyed the greenery varily as if he expected a bush to bite him suddenly. 

Thor however, extended his arms with a broad smile. "This is the garden that is reserved for the royal family. So, you can come here whenever you want to and spent time without to many others around. You can uhm sit and… walk?" he explained clumsily. 

Loki nodded, but did not seem to be very happy about the prospect. So something else. 

He led him to the stables. Despite the sun slowly moving to the horizon this place was still lifely and full of people who cared for the horses. Loki's eyes grew wide when he saw the tall animals, the muscles working under the sleek fur, huge heads throwing long manes around. He hid behind Thor and stayed as close as possible when he walked him around the place. 

Thor stopped by a fence where a couple of animals grazed in peace. "Here you can lend a horse to take a ride. If the palace is too full of duties and such. You can ride into the woods, hunt some deer."

Loki just stared. 

"No?" 

"I can't ride. Or hunt." 

Thor blinked. They stared at each other. 

How was this possible. How could somebody life like this? 

But Thor was not somebody to give up easily if he had taken a desicion. So he led his husband to the training grounds next. Despite the darkening sky the area was well lit since many trained after their duties ended. 

Here you can train your skills with weapons. There is the area for wrestling, over here for long range weapons. Bathes over there." he pointed out. Then Thor showed Loki the variety of weapons available but he did not harvest the eager reaction he had hoped for. Loki just regarded them as if he had never seen such before. With polite confusion. 

Thor cleared his throat. "You may never held a weapon before, but on Asgard it is considered common sense that everybody at least can defend themself." He crossed his arms. "I will train you." 

Loki considered him, doubt clearly written over his face. Then he eyed the weapons again. He swallowed. 

"Alright, let's begin!" 

Thor rubbed his hands. He tried to remember how he himself had started, but he had gotten his first training sword with five years so his memory was a bit vague. Anyway, what could go wrong?! 

"This is a one handed sword. A quick and light weapon. Take it" 

The sword pulled Loki forward and despite him gripping it with both hands the blade smashed to the ground. 

"Uhm. Maybe the wrong choice. Try the mace then it mostly consists of wood."

It had the same outcome, Loki almost falling forward as soon as Thor let go of the weapon. Only by chance he managed to not lose a toe. 

"Well, not your thing. Throwing axes then." Thor took the mentioned and handed it to Loki. It was only a small axe, not too heavy to hold for once, but still the jotun prince could not handle it very well. Thor took the axe back before his spouse could injure himself with it. He scratched his head, at a loss. 

"Daggers maybe? They are the lightest. You should at least be able to hold them properly!" 

Loki's eyes were shining with angry tears when Thor produced a couple of slender knifes, but he gritted his teeth and took them from Thor's hand. 

He blinked. Moved his hands. Blinked again. 

"This-... This is alright." he conceded and Thor boomed at him. 

“Great! Now attack me!"

*

When Loki limped back into their chambers it was late at night. He felt as if somebody had beaten him up and a ill speaking part of him suspected that this had been the purpose. 

But no. He shook his head. As strange as it was, Thor's enthusiasm to teach him seemed genuine. Misplaced, but genuine. He even had sent him away with a word of reassurance when he stayed behind to tidy up the training field. Or maybe he had better things to do than follow Loki to their rooms. 

Loki sighed when he entered the bathroom. He was a hopeless case, he had learned as much at home and now it was confirmed. Most likely, Thor would not want to train him further since Loki was not able to accomplish the most simple movements. 

He cleaned his face and hands, groaning, because every muscle ached. How should he make it to bed, feeling like this? 

A short knock on the bathroom door startled him and then Thor entered the room. 

"Here you are." he said and stepped to the basin to wash himself. 

Loki moved aside, feeling strangely embarrassed, as if he had been caught doing something unsavory. He frowned at Thor's casual intrusion. Was it too much to ask for to be alone in the bathroom? 

Loki turned around to undo his belt. Better to get out of this situation as quick as possible. Still he was not used to all these layers and without Erla's help he had to figure out which clasp had to be opened in which order to get out of his garment. And the little things where complicated to handle, especially with his hands so strained from the training! A loincloth was so much easier! He huffed in annoyance, wishing again for the stupid thing to come off - when Thor stepped in front of him suddenly. 

Loki startled and took a step back when Thor reached for him. "What-..." he gasped. The aesir had shed off his clothes much faster and thus was already naked. 

"You need help, don't you?" Thor frowned and pointed to Loki's not even half opened clothes. 

"Thank you, I'll manage!" Loki clipped "As I do every other night." He hoped that for once his cheeks would not start to color. Especially with Thor being so close. But to achieve this he should stop watching Thor's body. His broad shoulders and chest. The defined apps that lead down to his hips. And his… ah…

"Let me help you already!" Thor huffed and started to pull the clasps open with practiced ease. Loki felt his hands pulling and working with nimble finesse, thinking about other things those hands did. 

'Of course you are proficient in undressing others' The thought was like poison and Loki finally managed to tear his eyes away from his husband's body. 

Thor stepped around him to loosen the shoulder parts and Loki's cape to let it down on a nearby chair. Piece by piece came off, leaving Loki with a vulnerable feeling. Finally Thor took hold of the jacked and slid it down Loki's arms, exposing his naked shoulders. Only the wrapped high necked tunic and the pants were left now. 

Loki felt Thor's hands on his shoulders, the caulouses rough on his skin. A shiver run through him. Thor was so close, he could feel his warmth radiating through the thin fabric on his back. 

"Even if you look aesir your skin is still cooler." Thor mused. His breath ghosted over Loki's neck and he bowed his head involuntarily, exposing more of his skin. 

"Is it…?" 

"Yes…" 

Hot lips on his right shoulder. Loki gasped soundlessly. He did not want Thor to touch him. Of course not! He hardly knew him, despised him! But it was so hard to think when Thor's mouth moved upward with little kisses until he reached the skin under Loki's ear. Thor embraced him from behind and his nimble fingers undid the wrapping of the tunic. All Loki could do was stand there and let it happen. Thor pulled the fabric down slowly, exposing Loki's back and chest. His mouth was still so hot on cool skin, his hand sliding over Loki's belly. 

Loki looked down on himself with a dizziness he could not explain. But then his eyes went wide. A small bulge in his pants caught his attention. BLood rushed to his face. By Ymir… what if Thor saw…?! He could not fall for him like this… It had to stop! 

Let go of me!" Loki gasped and stepped forward to turn around. He wrapped the tunic that was almost off, around himself to shield the traitorous response of his lower body and regarded Thor with wide eyes. What kind of magic was this?! To make him feel like this?! Against his will! 

Thor watched him and for a second he also looked as if he woke from a dream. But then his face soured. His lips became a small line and his shoulders hardened. 

"Fine!" 

But instead of striking Loki or yelling at him like he expected, the aesir only turned and marched out of the room. The door closed with a crash behind him. 

Loki waited a couple of moments, his blood racing. But nothing happened. No thunder, no yelling or further show of displeasure. He swallowed. Slowly he slipped out of his remaining clothes, violently surprising the raging emotions inside.

When he stepped into the bedroom he saw that Thor was already at his side of the bed, under the covers, facing the other side of the room. 

"Turn off the lights when your done."

Loki stood there, assaulted by his feelings. Anger, fear, lust, confusion - all mingled together into a tight knot.

In the end he did as he was told, before he crept under the covers, as far from Thor as possible.

'Just don't think about it. Just… sleep.' he tried to reassure himself. 

As if that was so easy. 

*

Despite the fact that he had received a cold shoulder the other night Thor did not step back from his determination to show Loki around. The next day he dragged him to breakfast and introduced him to people he called his friends first thing in the morning. 

It was a strange affair in fact. Volstagg and Hogun greeted Loki politely but stayed reserved, as much as Sif. When he had seen them the last time they had been guarding him in his makeshift cell in the defeated cloister. And now they sat together and shared a meal. 

The group talked with Thor as they were used to, leaving Loki out of most of it. He was used to such and did not think much of it, just sat by, listened and had his breakfast. The guy named Fandral however, was more open and even included Loki in a conversation. He asked about the weather and how he liked the gardens and Loki tried to answer as best as possible. But then Fandral showed his true colors. 

"So, you are aesir on the outside. And inside?" he giggled. "Do you freeze Thor's dick into a popsicle?" 

Loki eyed him flabbergasted while Thor sprayed his drink over the table. Snorting laughter rose from the others. 

"He-..." Thor coughed, wiping his drenched beard. "He does not! And now change the subject you flirt!" 

Fandral grinned with a wink and blew a kiss to Thor before he turned again. Loki schooled his expression, but his eyes followed how Fandral behaved around Thor and how Thor seemed flustered. The others only rolled their eyes or grinned, so it was a common occurrence! 

So this was one of Thor's… more intimate friends. Loki felt his stomach tightening again. How dared his husband to make him sit with one of his paramours! This was unthinkable on Jotunheim where such things were kept a guarded secret. But that the aesir were salacious and indecent he already knew! Intruding in other people's space in the bathroom and such! Filthy! 

Loki tried his best to not show his feelings when he looked around. Who else was holding Thor's affection! He was heir to the throne. Young men and women would battle each other to entertain him, Loki was sure. Even now that he was married. How often would he be exposed to such, to be laughed at behind his back?! He grit his teeth during the rest of the breakfast, swearing to himself to avoid Fandral as much as the plague! 

To Loki's relieve he had not to endure the familiarities for much longer because Thor's uncle stepped up to the table, greeting them. 

"It's good to see you all together!" he announced, his face serious. "Word has it that thugs are raiding the borders of Alfheim. The queen requested our help." 

Thor perked up and his friends exchanged looks. Loki however, just raised one eyebrow. 

"I want you to lead the advance. We need to act quick. You know what to do."

"We will, uncle!" Thor was about to burst into action but Tyr's face made him pause. 

"Not you, Thor. You are needed here, as the regent of Asgard!" Tyr huffed. He shook his head. "Sif will lead the group."

Thor looked like a kicked puppy and Sif placed a hand on his shoulder with not entirely genuine compassion. 

"Too bad your majesty. You are needed here, among your people. We will bring you a thugs head for a gift. Guys!" She got up. "Let's go!"

Thor watched them leave like a kid that had been taken away his favorite toy. Nobody spent a single thought on Loki, who watched the exchange as an outsider. 

Then Tyr turned to him. 

"Will your majesty accompany us to the meeting with the ambassadors again? Afterwards I wanted to go over the storage plans with Thor if that is of interest for you."

Thor groaned but Loki smiled politely. 

"My pleasure, lord Tyr. My pleasure."


	17. Reunited Families

The days went by.

Loki sat by his usual place by the window and let the soft breeze caress his skin. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed. A light green danced around the fingers he held folded in his lap. His magic welled in him like a fountain, lifting his spirits beside the ever present anxiety. If only he could use it to cast a spell. He was sure he would feel much more at ease when he was more in balance with his magic. But he didn't know how. So all he could do was to feel his magic and make it dance a little for him like a flame that was fanned. 

A book rested on a nearby table called trade and business between the realms. Heavy literature, but the only thing that was available in the small study Loki had encountered within the chambers. The shelf of books spoke of Thor’s duties as crown prince. All of the meager selection focused on trades, laws, history and relations to other realms. Loki had devoured the ones about history, learning a lot about the realm he was in – at least from the aesir perspective. It became evident when the jotun culture and the war a thousand years ago were described. According to the book the ice giants were not much more than savages and their rebellion against Asgard's control an act of war against an innocent neighbour. Well, history was the history of the winner. No wonder Thor had… preconceptions. 

Loki opened his eyes. He had to leave soon. Today the council came together to consult and discuss reports from all the realms. His gaze rested on the book. This was one of his dearest duties by now, because he and Thor attended them as equals.

Today Loki dressed with as much care as possible. Erla had readied an ensemble that fit with aesir expectations of his status and Loki's own wish to cover as much of himself as possible. It was strange somehow, on Jotunheim he had worn nothing but a loincloth, maybe a headband or a necklace. To feel the wind and snow on his skin had been natural. But in his aesir body his skin was sensitive to the sun and even more to the looks of others so he preferred long sleeves and high collars. 

He braided his hair in aesir custom like Erla had showed him and readied himself as much as possible for the upcoming events. And if he grew a bit nervous and excited at the prospect that Thor would come over soon to pick him up, what of it?!

*

Loki was as beautiful as ever when Thor picked him up, and as reserved. All of his feelings were hidden under a mask that Thor could only overcome when they fought. He did not comment on it however, and simply accompanied his husband to the political wing.

Over the day Loki was by Thor's side during most of his duties and his quiet attentiveness seemed to rub off the crown prince somehow. In fact Thor found it easier to follow Tyr's endless explanations since he had somebody who learned with him and with whom he could talk about it afterwards. Thor learned that Loki was not only pretty, but cunning and smart and had a huge knowledge about other races, history and diplomatic issues. To discuss with Loki the cases Tyr presented helped both of them to a better understanding, because even if Loki knew many things from his books, Thor had met all those races on his travels and could connect some of the parts Loki could not point out from theory alone, while Loki possessed the knowledge to go into depth. 

When it came to interacting with people however, Loki was in opposite to Thor anxious and tended to blend in with the background. Thor decided to show him around some more and took the time to introduce him to each and every single ambassador before the next meeting. Even if Loki's hands shook with nerves during the talk, he managed to say something appropriate to each of them, regarding their background and history of their realm. Thor felt strangely proud for his husband and they shared a quick smile before the meeting started. And somehow the ambassadors seemed, to Tyr's astonishment, for the first time interested in Thor's opinion too. 

It became apparent pretty quickly that Loki, no matter how great his knowledge, never had sounded out the borders of his own body. When Thor took him to the training grounds in the evenings he was apprehensive at first, even shy. In the beginning it was a huge deal to even stand in front of Thor and try to attack him. He had never done that before and the whole situation made him tremble with nerves. But Thor showed him some basic routines to practice and to focus on when they faced each other. Slowly he made progress and Loki's hands, used to draw and write, were well skilled in holding a dagger, even if he possessed almost no strength. Thor knew that strength did not come overnight, so he reassured him to practice and see his ability grow, even if his muscles ached every evening. 

While being together Loki as well as Thor steered away from each topic that could lead to a fight. That included that Thor did not try to pursue Loki again when they went to bed. A strange politeness enfolded between them, but neither of them felt disturbed by it. It was a fragile truce, far away from companionship or even more. But it was… a pause they both needed. 

*

"Good morning your majesty." Erla stepped in, a bundle of fabric over her arm. She bowed deep, like Loki had shown her. "The tailor brought another piece of your wardrobe. I'll hang it in your closet." 

"Thank you." Loki smiled and looked up from his book. This was the first time since his revelation to Thor that he had time to read. The meeting of the ambassadors had been canceled for today and Tyr announced that he would be busy all day, so Thor and Loki enjoyed some free time. 

Loki used the time to look things up. The negotiations with the dwarfs still continued and he wanted to find out more about the law behind it. 

Thor used his free time to hunt. It was obvious that the crown prince was about to burst out of his skin with eagerness to leave the palace, even for some hours so Loki had some time to himself. 

Or mostly. 

"Do you look forward for the arrival of the new ambassador?" Erla asked while she came back from the bedroom. Loki placed his finger on the page he had been reading and raised his head. Erla was a smart and studious girl, so he tolerated her many questions willingly. 

"Which ambassador?" 

She paused. "The jotun, your majesty. Haven't you heard?" 

Loki's mouth opened but he said nothing so Erla continued. 

"Now that the war is over Jotunheim sends a delegation and a new negotiator to the court. The first in a hundred years! The other servants work hard to get the suite in the embassy wing ready for such a tall guest." she chatted happily, apparently believing Loki would be thrilled to soon hear about how things were going at home. 

Instead Loki felt faint. He tried his best to not show it, but his hands became clammy suddenly. "Do you know the name by chance? Of the new ambassador?" 

"I'm afraid not. But lord Tyr will know about it, I'm sure. He oversees the preparations for the arrival." She bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I thought he already told you. Maybe it should be a surprise."

Loki waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Don't worry." Then he forced a smile on his face. "I'll pretend to be surprised."

Erla, obviously relieved, bowed deeply with a broad smile. 

*

Loki retreated into the study and tried to ease his troubled mind with further reading. He sent Erla away to focus on his studies, something that he found peace in - especially now that it wasn't his only occupation anymore. 

The silence lasted a couple of hours, but found a sudden end when Thor burst into the chambers. His face was red and his hair tangled, but he grinned broadly, looking around the living room. 

"Loki, I'm back! Where are you?!" he yelled. 

'Only the deaf would have missed it' Loki thought and got up from his place in the small study. He stepped into the doorframe and smiled. 

"Welcome. Have you been successful?" 

"Aye! I got you a beautiful deer! It will be served tonight!" Due to the absence of his friends Thor had been hunting alone, but it seemed that this had not diminished his joy of it. 

Loki kept his polite smile on his face, even if the thought of more deer for dinner made him feel nauseated. He wasn't used to so much meat and the prospect did not fill him with eagerness like Thor. To not have to dine with the warriors three however, did. He clasped his hand in front of his belly. "I'll look forward to it." 

He waited. "Is there something else?" 

Thor looked around. "What are you doing? The sun is still up. We could go out."

"Ah, I was reading about the dwarves and…" Loki looked over his shoulder to where the book waited on the table. 

"Reading? Why? Tyr gave us the day off. Do something fun!" 

Loki blinked. "I… I consider it 'fun' to educate myself. I had a very peaceful and relaxing morning and afternoon."

Thor stared at him. 

"You _ like _ reading?!" 

"Yes. Is that a problem?" 

"No no. Uhm. It's rather unusual. I know that mother likes books too. But she is not from here."

"Well, I am not from here too."

Thor rubbed the back of his head with an apologizing grin. "Yeah, got me there."

He turned to the bathroom. "I'll go and fresh myself up. Accompany me to dinner later?" 

"It will be my pleasure, majesty." Loki nodded and the smile Thor sent his way was blinding as the sun.

*

The very next day Loki accompanied Thor and Tyr to the rainbow bridge to welcome the jotun ambassador and his delegation. Loki tried his best not to fidget to much, he already had drawn Thor's attention. Of course he deflected, saying something about the bright sun, but he could see that Thor was not fully convinced. The crown prince himself seemed tense too, even if Loki had no idea why. 

Everything that could be said between them moved into the background when the bifrost glared, beams of light shooting out of it, blinding the eyes. Loki tried to identify who stepped out, but it was only a blurr and familiar tall figures. 

Then his breath caught in his throat. 

Out of the bifrost gate, his blue body glittering with ice crystals, stepped his sibling Helblindi. 

Tyr moved forward, extending his hand in the aesir way of greeting. 

"Prince ambassador. Welcome to Asgard. We're glad to receive you!" 

Helblindi, his eyes not adjusted to the brightness yet, simply nodded in greeting. Then he looked around, his massive head moving from one side to the other. Loki's belly churned with the realization that a 'normal' jotun did not suffer from the heat. The tight bond to Ymir shielded them and he could already feel the air grow colder with the guests lower temperature. Apparently only a freak like him had to suffer a heatstroke like he did. 

When Helblindi's eyes found Loki they moved up and down his body as if he wanted to see with his own eyes how much his younger sibling had changed. His lips twisted into something that only a hopeless optimist would call a smile when he stepped closer. 

It gave Loki time to school his expression when Thor greeted the giant first. Then it was his turn. 

"Sibling. I welcome you." he bowed his head in a way one greeted an older family member. 

Helblindi stared at him. He pursed his lips. 

"I greet you too, sibling. King Byleistr sends his regards."

"Please, your travels must have been straining. Let us show you aesir hospitality."

Helblindi said nothing to that, just nodded to the other two jotun who had followed him out of the gate. Together the small group made their way to the palace. All of the way Loki felt Helblindi's eyes in his back as if they tried to drill a hole in it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it finally started to get better with the two of them..  
Helblindi around does not look like fun :o


	18. Gifts

To welcome th first jotun negotiator after the long war the palace held a reception in the evening where every noble was invited. Tables, laden with food and drink, musicians and dancers, servants carrying sweets around - all was bound to show Asgard's wealth, power and hospitality. 

On such occasions, Thor was in his element and his voice boomed through the great hall like a bell. Feasting with the nobles, dancing and chatting about old legends and new accomplishments and by that forging alliances with the ones around him seemed to fit him more that quiet negotiations in small rooms. For once even Tyr watched him with fondness, sitting by the royal families table, his hands crossed over his belly. 

Loki watched his husband too and felt strange surrounded by so many people. As soon as the more informal part began he moved to a quieter corner to watch the festivities. 

The two jotun guards towered over the crowd but their behaviour was as friendly as a frost giant was able to. They engaged in conversation and feasted with the other guests as if this was what they had always done. 

Could this be true? Tried Byleistr to befriend the aesir? Was this the reason he had married off his youngest sibling and even sent his other as ambassador? A small spark of hope ignited in his chest. If Jotunheim and Asgard held onto the truce, maybe he and Thor could do so too. 

A shadow fell on him and the Helblindi towered over him. Loki tried to lean on the pillar casually but it was more himself pressing against the marble in order to get as much space as possible between himself and his sibling. Despite his smile, Loki felt threatened by his close presence, an old habit of his childhood when closeness to his siblings never ended well for him. But now it was different, no? He was married, he was a prince, Helblindi was ambassador. Still, his heart beat faster, at the sight of the giant who loomed above him.

Helblindi smiled down on him but quickly it became apparent, that he wasn’t more fond of Loki as he had been on Jotunheim.

“Byleistr was right. In this aesir mask you look even more hideous as before.” he snarled quietly enough that only Loki could hear him. 

Loki swallowed and then averted his eyes, fighting to keep his expression as indifferent as possible. He cleared his throat. 

“How is Laufey?”

“Our sire is still recovering.” Helblindi looked around as if he was searching something. “Tell me. Have you seen the casket since it was gifted to you and the aesir prince?”

“No, of course not. Its sealed in the Allfather’s vault.”

Helblindi’s red eyes became small and he grinned in a way he seemed to think was cunning. “That’s not an obstacle you could not overcome if you wanted. It’s your birthright to command its powers. You should at least touch it once with your own hands.”

Loki searched in his face for the hidden meaning. Why was Helblindi so adamant about this?

“I can’t. It is sealed. Nobody but the king has access to the vault.”

Helblindi snorted. “I bet the oaf you’re married to has the means to get inside. Why don’t you use the advantage of this argr body to make him do as you wish. I bet he already runs after your puss like a dog in heat.” 

“Helblindi!” Loki’s face turned red as quick as if somebody poured ink into a cup of water. Never before had he heard a Jotun express himself in such obscene and filthy ways. “Don’t talk to me like that!”

Helblindi however, laughed about his sibling's embarrassment. He placed his palm on Loki’s belly. “Tell me… are you not filled yet? Thor has a reputation to mount anything in his reach.”

“I’m not!” Loki squeaked and tried to get away from his brothers grip. “It takes time! I-...” To his utter relief his brother let go of him and stepped back a bit. But there was still this smile playing around his lips.

“At least when your child is born you need to hold the casket to bless your offspring with the gift of Ymir.” He leaned in closer again and his voice grew quieter, almost as if he was threatening Loki. “I speak for our king when I say that I hope you have good news soon.”

Loki watched him leave and his heart beat so fast in his chest that he thought it would burst out of him. First Byleistr and now Helblindi! Why were they so adamant that Loki should give Thor an heir? Why did they even care?! And what had all of that to do with the casket. 

Loki could not shake the feeling of a impending doom above his head that would crash down on him, no matter what.

*

"What was this about?" 

Thor stepped close to him and Loki couldn't prevent the flinch. 

"Thor! I-..." Loki averted his face and smoothed down his hair to gather his thoughts. "He told me about our sire. He is still recovering."

"Sire? You mean Laufey?" 

"Yes." Loki turned to him. The conversation offered a distraction from the horrid meeting with his sibling. "The jotun who sired me. We do not differentiate in male and female like you do and thus have no mother or father in your sense. The sire is the one who does not carry the child in his body. The dam does."

Thor's brow furrowed in thinking. 

"Sounds like a father to me." 

"one jotun's sire can be another's dam. I think your parents could not switch roles so easily…" 

Thor thought a couple of moments. 

"So he is getting better? That is good?" 

Loki raised his eyebrows. Tried Thor to show compassion for Loki regarding his parent? This was… unexpected.

"Yes. I think so." and out of a whim he continued. "We aren't exactly close."

Thor nodded. It was quiet for some time. 

"But you call him 'he'. Doesn't that mean that all jotun - dams and sires - are male?" 

"No, it's not like that. We do not even have this concept. All jotun are just… jotun. In our language there is only one word to refer to somebody. And this is translated into 'he' in Allspeak. My sire is a he as much as my dam is."

"Sounds complicated."

"Not as much as to suddenly decide which side to pick when you never have considered before that there are sides in the first place…" Loki muttered to himself but Thor had heard him. He shrugged. 

"I guess you're right." With that he left and Loki watched him go, stunned that for once Thor simply had agreed with him 

*

The evening went on and Loki could not shake off the sadness that took more and more hold of him. He watched Thor and Tyr, now surrounded by their kind, smiling and laughing and talking loudly. 

The jotun delegation had left already but their presence had reminded Loki that he was a stranger, lonely and unwanted. And that he had been so even in his own home. Now he stood by the side of the feast, a spectator, too anxious to try to mingle, even with the few people he knew. 

Even if he tried hard to not let it show his straight posture sagged and his soft smile - his princely mask - vanished. All he wished for was to be alone to not have to think about how Helblindi had spoken to him and how lonely and abandoned he felt between all these people. He was about to excuse himself to hide under the covers of his part of the bed when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

Loki turned, ready to defend himself but it was only Thor who stood close to him. His breath held the trace of mead, which could be the reason for his utter lack of respect for personal space. He grinned, his cheeks red and his eyes sparkling. 

"Follow me!" 

"Where-..." But before Loki could say more Thor gripped his hand and pulled him behind the pillar. Here, in the sidewings of the Great hall it was uncrowded and quieter, the light of the candles not reaching into every corner. In some places couples were occupied with each other.

Unwilling feelings made themselves known in Loki's belly, memories of Helblindi and the demand for a child. If Thor was about to try to fumble with him here he had no idea how he could decline and this made his heart even more heavy. 

But Thor did not lead him into a dark corner. He pulled him to a door, shushing the guard who looked at them with wide eyes and then the burst into an empty hallway. 

"Thor… Thor, where are we going?" Loki gasped and did his best to keep up with his husband's long strides. 

Thor only chuckled and moved along, Loki's hand in his. Loki looked back nervously. Nobody was around. Where were they heading?! 

"They will miss us Thor. Your uncle…" 

"Have you never slipped off from an official event? They are made for that!" 

"No, I haven't!" Loki did not let on that he never were allowed to attend such festivities at home and that in fact he had been about to leave the reception anyway. This was a matter of principle. 

"Trust me. It'll be fun!" 

Loki rolled his eyes, but followed along. What else could he do, Thor held his hand in his strong grip and up till now there was no reason to really start a fight. They had been doing so well lately. Hopefully they would not end in something unsavory or dangerous, but with his husband everything seemed possible. 

They ended in front of a double door. Loki never had been here before but that counted for most of the palace. Thor turned to him, grinning like a kid that had found the key to the candy vault. 

"Okay. Here we are. Close your eyes."

Loki frowned. Was Thor serious?! He could not expect him to follow into whatever blindly?! 

But Thor smiled at him, brightly as the sun. "Trust me! Close your eyes Loki."

And then - without knowing why he even considered it a possibility - Loki did it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping for dear life that he was not stumbling into something embarrassing. 

The sound of the door opening made his heart pound but nothing else was to be heard. Suddenly the day of their wedding sprang to his mind, how Thor had pulled him along on the chain. Well, apparently Thor never bothered to make him close his eyes if he planned to humiliate him. With another sign he succumbed to his fate and with his hand in Thor's he stepped forward. 

"Alright. Open up."

Loki blinked. He was in a room as vast and tall as the great hall. But instead of countless tables and benches the room was filled with shelves, as far and as high as the eye reached. Tall windows on the left let the moonlight in and cozy seatings alternated with writing tables. But the thing that kicked the air from his lungs and made his jaw drop… were the books. 

Each and every shelf was filled with books. Big ones, small ones, leather or linen, countless books extended before his eyes.

Thor had brought him to the Asgard great library.

* 

When Loki turned to him Thor knew that he finally had chosen the right place to show him. His husband's eyes flowed over with astonishment and his face was so full of wonder as he could not believe what was before his eyes.

"Is… is this _real_?" 

Thor nodded and watched how a smile started to bloom on Loki's face.

"Can-... can I. Can I go and…?" he pointed to the books. 

"Of course. The library is open to all citizens of Asgard." Thor extended his arm, the warm glow in him becoming brighter the more Loki's hesitant joy turned into true happiness. 

With one last look to reassure that it was in fact allowed Loki stepped away and into the library. His eyes roamed around while his mouth formed an overjoyed o at all those books around him. He looked like a child at the first summer rain spinning around himself slowly to take it all in. Then, as sudden as a bird jumped into the air loki clasped his hands and hurried to the first shelf. 

"It's so dark. I can hardly see what these are about."

"The categories are written on the front of the shelf."

Loki turned to him, looking at Thor as if he had shared hidden secrets. 

"Categories…" he gasped and looked for what Thor had pointed out. 

"History! Thor, does that mean all those books on this shelf are about history?!" 

Thor nodded, amused. "I bet the other shelf too."

"How is that even _possible_?!" 

Loki dove deeper into the wood of shelves his feet making quiet but fast tapping sounds in the silent hall. 

Thor, smiling to himself, let him go to explore as much as was possible at night. He walked over to a table where he lit a lamb. 

Loki rushed back. 

"It's so dark back there I can't -..." 

Thor handed him the lamp and with a squeak Loki dashed away again. 

Thor watched him go and smiled and smiled. 

This was an entirely different person, an entirely different husband. And to his own surprise he noted that Loki's unembellished joy and happiness was not only highly contagious. It ignited a light in him that reinforced the will to make Loki even more happy. 

The prospect to share a life with a Loki who looked at him like that with this astonishment and smile… Thor could get used to that. Not to mention that a happy Loki would be hopefully more open to kisses. And touches. And anything else a newlywed couple should be doing, by the norns! 

But right now was not the time for that. Right now it was time to watch Loki dash around between the aisles, little _ohs_ and _ahs_ escaping him while he explored the wonders of the apparently best place he had ever been to.

*

Loki rubbed his eyes. 

This was amazing. He had never thought that such books existed! One of the shelves contained tomes about magic. Yggdrasil's power, explained between two book covers! 

He could not decide which one he should read first so he took as much as he could carry to the table where Thor was waiting with another lamp. This was so exciting! Amazing! No word could describe this feeling! 

He sat down with a content sigh and smiled to his husband who took a seat next to him. 

"I'm gonna have a look." Loki explained, hoping that Thor was agreeable to that. When he nodded Loki opened the first one with wide eyes, completely mesmerized by the prospect of wonders that awaited him. No thought was spared for Helblindi or the casket or the dire situation he had been in. Right now all of him was ready for this experience. 

Loki read and read, but then grew impatient and skipped chapters, looking up what the book was about in general before he skipped to the next. This was even more interesting, he needed more time to read it properly, but there were so many others! He opened all of them, one after another, reading passages, skipping back and forth his eyes roaming over letters and letters without a pause. 

"I need to bring something to write things down." he murmured at some point and just then grew aware of the light snoring next to him. 

Thor, drawn over the table, his head resting on one of his arms, had fallen asleep. 

Just then Loki noted that the sun was about to come up, painting the sky outside in the greyish blue of the early morning. His eyes burned, he had spent the whole night reading. 

A soft smile rose on his face when his eyes returned to the sleeping Thor. For the first time tender feelings made themself known in Loki's chest, a soft glow he never had felt before. This night truly had been… something. 

"Thank you…" he whispered. "Husband."


	19. Games To Play

"What's with the long face? I thought you'd be more happy to see me!" Sif greeted and came over to Thor who sat by the breakfast table, his chin propped up by his hand. He groaned. 

"Did your husband let you sleep on the doorstep or why are you looking so rumpled?" she sat beside him, crossing her arms and grinning down on him. 

"Nobody told me that you're back." Thor mumbled, barely able to keep his eyes open. To sleep in the library hadn't been the wisest of choices. 

"Indeed dear cousin. And we defeated the thugs who threatened our precious allies, thanks for asking."

"I never doubted it. Well, maybe a little since Mjolnir hadn't been with you." 

Sif only smiled at that and ordered a cup of juice for herself. 

"So, how does Asgard fair these days? Anything important? Father is not available."

"He confines with the new ambassador. Helblindi of Jotunheim."

Sif raised her eyebrows. 

"Aye, I have the pleasure to meet him later. And Loki is indisposed." Thor grunted. 

Why had the jotun not waited until Odin returned to Asgard before they sent the ambassador? Had the news of his travels not reached their frozen realm? It was, even if not forbidden, highly unusual. And something about Helblindi stroked Thor the wrong way, even if he could not say what it was. His guts told him that he was bad news and the fact that Loki seemed to avoid him cemented that.

"How about we meet at the training grounds after I'm done with being regent. I need to sparr again. While the lot of you were gone I had nobody to meet my strength. And afterwards we visit a tavern and you can fill me in with the glorious battles you fought."

"As you wish your majesty!" 

*

Loki sat in a quiet corner of the library and read. Despite the fact that he had only napped a short time after breakfast he felt fresh and awake. The prospect of what laid before him made his insides feel like filled with bubbling water. Even the fact that there were people in the library, who watched him with curious eyes could not hold him back from exploring the wonders of this magical place. 

He bit his lip while he concentrated to understand what he was reading. The book he had chosen as the first to work through thoroughly was called  _ Fjölkynngi  _ and explained how the powers of Yggdrasil worked and how they influenced a seidmarers body and mind. He was eager to read about things he had always felt so deep inside himself and never had been able to talk to somebody about it. His finger slid over the text, unraveling secret after secret with ease. 

That the study of magic prevented him from attending the council meeting was a welcome extra. The thought to face Helblindi again made him feel nauseous and thus he had excused himself for today with the mention of his lack of sleep. Erla the good girl had reassured him that most of the people of Asgard would spend the morning in bed today since all over the city feasts had taken place to celebrate the last component of the peace treaty between Jotunheim and Asgard. To send an ambassador was a sign of friendship and the wish for a shared future. 

Loki grimaced at that. All of it felt wrong. But he could not point out why. 

Maybe it didn't matter at the moment. He had more important things at hand. With that the continued his research, the bad feelings vanishing in the face of knowledge. 

*

Thor watched Helblindi during the meeting of the council - that had been rescheduled three hours later than usual and still everybody around the table looked as if they were still in need of a pillow. 

Helblindi however, did not. He towered over them, the extra large chair just barely holding his huge form. Jotun faces were not easy to read of course. They were high above and thus be seen from a weird angle. On top of that the default jotun looked rugged by nature. The whole race wasn't exactly famous for their cheerfulness or their sense of humor. A world without sun and freezing cold weather did that to somebody, Thor mused. But still, even if he had no proof that Helblindi hated them all. He felt it in his guts! 

Tyr seemed unaffected and lead the slow and indifferent discussion with tired eyes. The dwarven ambassador snored in his chair. 

"Uncle." 

Tyr turned to him. 

"Maybe we should postpone this. I think the festivities have taken their toll. And Asgard will remain, even if we do not talk today" Thor discretely pointed to the dwarf. Tyr followed his gaze and then sighed. He looked around with an apologetic smile. 

"I think the regent is right. Nothing will fall apart if we shorten today's meeting and get together tomorrow with fresh ease."

Everybody agreed and the meeting was over. 

Thor got up from his seat with a groan. Hopefully he could exercise a bit to clear his head. But a rasping voice held him back. 

"Your majesty" 

Thor turned to Helblindi, who towered over him, his blue lips stretched into a smile that was as warm as Jotunheim's plains. 

"I beg your pardon. I wish to speak to my sibling and expected him to be here. Where can I find him?"

"Loki? Let me think a moment." Thor pretended to rack his brain. "He prefers to be in the garden. And if not there, he loves the horses and thus is often by the staples. Or maybe try the city, he likes to wander around and look at the merchant's goods." The smile Thor sent Helblindi's way was totally innocent. "If you'll excuse me. I have other matters to attend."

Thor walked away to meet Sif and the others on the training field, for the first time of the day in a brilliant mood. Should Helblindi look for Loki all day, the probability to find him was almost zero. On the way out Thor felt the jotun's eyes on his back but he didn't care. 

*

Loki came back to his and Thor's chambers in the early evening, his mind still spinning with all he read over the day. He felt exhausted and tempted to have his dinner in his rooms, to not have to meet the court again. Luckily he had not seen Helblindi over the day, but since his sibling wasn't the studious type he would probably be safe within the library. 

Loki entered the living room, a soft smile on his face. Maybe he should ask Thor to spend dinner with him in private. He wanted to thank him properly for showing him the library and maybe they could talk and get to know each other better… 

Loki's thought came to an sudden end when he recognized the person who waited in the living room. 

As if he was at home here, he stood in the middle of the chamber, his brow sweaty and his hands in his hips. 

Fandral. 

He turned when he heard the door, a bright smile on his face. "Good evening prince Loki. There you are. I wondered if you got stolen away or something." 

Loki's face darkened, he could not prevent it. To disguise it, he looked around.

"Where is Thor?" 

"He wanted to freshen up a it." Fandral grinned and all of him was so unbearable smug that Loki felt the hair in his neck rise. His hands baled to fists by his side. 

As if summoned by his husband's anger the door to the bathroom opened and Thor stepped out, his upper body naked and his hair damp. 

"Husband! Greetings! You missed the training today."

Loki's eyes traveled over Thor's half naked body, his reddened cheeks, the signs of exercise. "Training huh?" 

"Indeed." Thor averted his eyes. He clearly felt uncomfortable. "We're going out to have a drink and celebrate the triumph over the scoundrels on Svartalfheim." 

Loki collected himself as much as possible. 

"I'm tired. If you'll excuse me." And with that he walked with as much grace as possible to the bedroom, closing the door behind himself with a quiet sound. 

He waited, listening to the small sounds of Thor getting dressed and leaving with his lover. He counted to ten. Just then he dared to smash his hands against the door's wood to release some of the fury inside him. His eyes bore into the bed, their  _ marital bed _ , with its rumpled sheets. Not only that Thor paraded his paramour around at court and in front of Loki in private. He took him to the very bed that he shared with his husband! 

Outrageous! 

A green flame danced around Loki's figure when he left the bedroom and headed to the sturdy, his only refuge in this misery that he called marriage. 

*

Thor yawned. Even though he had left the training grounds earlier and taken a nap he felt strained. His friends, drinking and cheering, shared their tales from the battle, but his mind wandered to the palace, to Helblindi and last, but not least to his husband. Loki had looked as if something was bothering him, but he had not said a word in front of Fandral of course. Always the closed off type, as easy to climb as a glacier. 

Maybe it had been the fact that Thor had trained with his friends and not with him. They had gotten closer over schooling Loki's fighting skills over the last week. But Thor had been so eager to have a real fight with an opponent of similar strength, that he had forgotten about Loki's training. His fingers followed the texture of the wood on the table. He himself would have felt offended to be left behind, that much was sure. 

"What is it Thor. You look broody. And it's still the first ale." Volstagg asked and he found himself under scrutiny by all sides. 

"What of it? It had been a long day. I have a lot of duties now. I can't sit around and drink myself silly aimlessly."

"Oh boo. You sound all grown up!" Fandral pouted. 

Thor shook his head. 

"Maybe." He looked around. "I think I call it a night."

"What?! It's barely ten!" 

"Don't let it bother you." and with that and a knock on the wood Thor left the table, Fandral and Volstagg gaping at him, Sif smiling to herself. 

Thor enjoyed the walk back to the palace. The streets were quiet since the working people already went to bed and the merry-maker still sat in the taverns. 

He took the longer road and contemplated about what had happened in the last few weeks, how his life had changed and how that felt. To his astonishment he found it rather good. Loki and him hadn't had a fight for the whole week and yesterday he even made huge progress in wooing him. That was something to be proud of. 

Thor's eyes wandered over the palace golden walls while he was thinking. Since he and Loki worked together he gained more knowledge about a king's duties and through that more acceptance by Tyr. It all came together somehow. Thor smiled to himself when he entered the palace gates. Tomorrow, first thing in the moring he would talk to him and explain what happened today. All would be fine. 

The easy feeling faded quickly however when he stepped into his chambers. At once he recognized that the atmosphere of the room was frozen. Loki sat on the couch, a book on his lap, his shoulders tense and his lips pressed into a thin line. 

Thor shed off his poncho cape and draped it over a chair. He regarded his husband, who was as approachable as a spike covered rosebush. 

"I thought you were going to go to bed."

Loki's head snapped around to face his husband. Green eyes glared at him. 

"Yes." he clipped. "And I thought you'd spent the night out with your whores. Haven't expected you before sunrise!" 

Thor jerked back. "W-... What the hell are you talking about?!" 

Loki got up from his seat. He wore just the silken robe he preferred at night, the collar open down to his navel. Quite distracting, but he didn't seem to notice. He walked closer, every movement barely containing the rage inside. He gritted his teeth, his green eyes small.

"Don't try to disguise your lecherous behavior! I have eyes!" 

Thor, still not having a single clue what he was accused of, stared at him. 

"Make sense, husband! I don't have time for riddles!" 

Loki jerked his hands up in an outraged gesture and turned to pace a few steps. He obviously tried to get himself back under control, but failed. When he turned to Thor again he held up his finger, uncharacteristically brave and dashing. 

"Listen,  _ husband _ !" he hissed. "I don't care if you fuck all of Asgard behind closed doors. Men, women,  _ horses _ if you fancy! But I will not-... I will  _ not _ suffer the vilification to stand by while you parade your hanky-panky around in front of me! In our chambers furthermore!" 

Loki stared at him, his eyes ablaze with fury. Thor's brain raced. Was this… about  _ Fandral _ ?! That was hilarious! But then he paused. He regarded Loki again and suddenly the scales fell from his eyes. 

"You're jealous!" he blurted out. 

Loki looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "I'm not!" he screeched. All this anger could not be contained any longer, or expressed by words. His hands shoved against Thor's shoulders, barely managing to push him back. 

"How  _ dare _ you say something like this!" He shoved him again. "As if I had a reason to be jealous because my husband is an oaf and a swine and ah-!" 

His hands grabbed Thor's collar to shove him again, but then Loki pulled himself close and before any of them knew what was happening the jotun prince's lips where on Thor's. 

As fast as it began it ended when Loki pulled back. Thor's hands were on his hips now so Loki could not step back. And he still gripped Thor's collar tightly, unwilling or unable to let go. His face glowed red and his eyes still burned with anger. 

"Don't you dare kissing me ever again!" he hissed. 

Thor pulled him closer. " _ You _ kissed  _ me _ ." 

"I'm  _ not… _ ! " 

Their lips found each other again and without thinking Loki buried his fingers in Thor's hair. He pressed his body against Thor's desperately, their teeth clashing together. The kiss was heated, violent, and still so needy that both moaned into it. 

The next time, it was Thor who pulled back a little, his arms still caging his husband. His gaze caressed over Loki's face with an intensity that surprised both of them. 

"You… you-" Loki began, helpless, desperate and so vulnerable in Thor's arms. 

"Oaf…" Thor ended the sentence for him before his lips where on Loki's again. 


	20. (Com-)Passion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely feedback you guys! :D As a thank you gift, have the second part of the chapter right out of the pen, so to say! Story is evolving. 
> 
> Love you all! <3

Loki's back met the wall. Thor was in front of him now, above him. And so close that he could feel the aesir's breath on his skin, his warmth through his clothes. In shock Loki moved back but he was so close to the wall that he could go nowhere and Thor's hand on his cheek kept him in place, tilting his head back. But he was not threatening him for once. There was a tenderness in his gaze that crawled up Loki's spine. He gasped for air while his heart beat faster and faster. 

The other's tongue dipped into his mouth, spreading confusing sensations. Loki's heart drummed so loud he was sure Thor must be hearing it. But the aesir sucked on Loki's lips undisturbed, as if they had exchanged nothing but sweet endearments instead of fighting. The bulky body pressed against Loki's, caging him against the wall and still it felt not trapped but… warm. The warmth spread from his chest and belly into his groin where spikes of heat were added by the restless lips and tongue that didn't let Loki catch a clear thought anymore. From afar he noted that his hands were not defensively pressed against Thor's chest but clawing at his shoulders, over his arms as if to hold him close, to touch him and feel him with more than just the pressure against his body. 

When Thor broke the kiss Loki gasped for air his eyes closed and his face flushed bright pink. He licked his wet and swollen lips, and didn't even notice that his crotch still continued the light rubbing against Thor's, one of his legs already wrapped around the other's hips. 

"You want me." Thor whispered against Loki's face while his lips moved from the corner of his mouth to the jaw. 

"No… I… don't!" Loki gave back but there was no force left in it, too caught up was he in the sensations Thor spread on his skin. The beard scratched over the sensitive place below his ear and Loki shivered, griping Thor's shoulders tightly to ground himself. A soft moan fled his lips, turning into a shivering gasp when Thor sucked a small mark on his neck. 

Their hips rubbed unashamed against each other, chasing the sensations that were possible with layers of fabric between them. 

"I want you too." Thor moaned and his fingers started to pull on the belt that held Loki's robe in place while he continued his kissing and licking and sucking, turning Loki's mind into goo. Loki on the other hand had a difficult time to even stay upright and not melt against the wall. All he could do was hold on while Thor's hands found more and more of his skin. 

The aesir slid the robe down Loki's arms to expose his upper body. Now his big hands rubbed over his back, sending shivers down the spine, before they landed on Loki's ass, squeezing. With a pull he lifted Loki him up and out of instinct the jotun wrapped his legs around Thor's hip. While the lips found each other again, Thor carried Loki to the bed.

Loki fell onto the mattress, his hair fanning out over the covers and his robe hanging from his body, leaving him utterly exposed. Thor was above him in moments, his hands sliding over Loki's body, the broad palms covering his skin and raising goosebumps in their wake. Unlike the last time, where only the night sky had illuminate their doing, this time the candles exposed Loki further to Thor's gaze and he felt shame well up inside him. 'Hideous', 'freak', 'weakling' hammered in his head and he clasped his hand over his face to hide. 

Soft kisses against his fingers made him open up a bit, tentatively. Thor did not pull his legs apart to take what he came for. He slowed down, held Loki by his waist and waited for him to emerge behind his fingers. Kisses to his cheeks followed, to his forehead and chin. And then to his lips again. Sweet and still passionate. Opening him up like a flower, making him drink Thor's breath till all the thoughts and fears dissuaded again, fog in the sunlight. 

Thor's hands were everywhere, all over Loki's body. Clever fingers caressed his most sensitive places, making him moan and writhe with raising lust. Loki bit his lip to contain at least a bit of those stormy feelings, but Thor kissed his mouth open again until Loki could do nothing but hold onto him, his mane, his shoulders, while he was filled. Slow rocking build up to harsh thrusts that made Loki see stars while clawed his fingers into Thor's back to hold on for dear life. 

When finally, the intense feelings reached their climax, the whole world seemed to explode in pure white to become a thousands falling stars that tingles all over his body when he fell back into the sheets. 

*

Thor tried to find back into reality. 

This had been… wow! 

They laid in bed, heated up, the breaths still fast. Shortly after coming down from his climax Loki had rolled to his side, away from Thor, facing the wall. 

It concerned him. This was not the reaction he was used to after passionate lovemaking. And passionate they had been. His back was full of scratches, testimonials of Loki's lust. 

To be honest, for this moment after the sex Thor had expected to hold a spouse to his chest who was purring with satisfaction and happiness. But the husband in question had rolled up like a wounded animal and even if he was quiet like mouse Thor was sure that he was crying. 

"Loki…" he moved closer carefully, but the flinch he got as a reaction made his heart sink a bit. 

Then, despite the defensive reaction he snuggled up from behind, trying to get a glimpse on his spouses face. 

Wetness glistened on Loki's cheeks and Thor felt losing the floor under his feet. 

"Hey… wh-... You are crying…" he pulled Loki closer without making him roll around, just embraced him from behind. "Did I hurt you?" 

A sob answered him and Thor felt more and more helpless. His brain raked for what had happened to make Loki so unhappy. They had kissed and touched each other, both acting as if drowning if they did not. Haven't they? 

"Loki. Please. Can you tell me why you're crying?" he tried again. 

It was quiet for some time, but then Loki spoke, not louder than a whisper. "I didn't want that." And then sobbing rocked Loki's body when he could not keep it in any longer. 

Thor, utterly confused and helpless, held him until the crying cramps subsided a bit again, stroking his arm softly. 

"What do you mean, you didn't want it? I thought…" His thoughts raced. He hadn't forced him or something! Had he?! 

"I don't want to be yours… Why do you even touch me?! You have lovers and… w-whores and… I'm nothing to you! I rather live without this!" 

Now Thor pulled Loki to his back to look into his teary face. 

"Loki, I don't have any lovers. Since we're married I did not lay with anybody else!" 

"Liar" Loki whispered and averted his eyes, but did not fight Thor's grip. Thor wondered where the fierce husband had vanished to, who had been attacking him after he came back. Why was Loki so docile and sad and… frightened? 

He touched Loki's cheek and recognized the minute flinch it caused. His throat grew tighter at that but still he forced Loki with tender persistence to look at him again. 

"Is this about Fandral? Then I assure you that he always is a flirt. He is a God of fertility, bound to get into everybody's pants. That does not mean I sleep with him."

Loki looked up at him as if he had something else to say to that, but despite he stayed quiet. 

"Why don't you say something?" 

"What else can I say. You told me that you were faithful. Despite me knowing better."

Slowly Thor felt anger welling up inside him but he tried to contain it. Still his voice showed that he wasn't exactly amused. 

"And are you willing to tell me where you draw that knowledge from?!"

Loki swallowed. He closed his mouth and cast his eyes down again. Thor watched him and could not shake the feeling that Loki expected Thor to punish him. Loki's tense shoulders, his hands balled to small fists in front of his chest as if to shield himself from blows made Thor pause, despite his agitated feeling. 

And then, like a thunderstrike Loki's words came back to Thor, that he had spoken weeks ago.

Why did you even bring a gift? When all you do is mistreating and threatening me? 

'Do you feel threatened now? Why?' Thor thought and absentmindly caressed Loki's shoulder with his fingertips. His husband however, seemed to interpret his silence as a clue to continue. 

When he spoke again his eyes were closed. "The night before our wedding. You found me and did not recognize me. And still… you flirted with me. Kissed my hand. Promised me to… to meet me after the wedding's over..." 

Loki's voice broke. 

Thor stared at him. 

He felt cold.

It was true. He had almost forgotten the incident but now it all rushed back. How he had come to find his betrothed with the words of his friends still fresh in his mind to find a lover. Finding this gorgeous stranger in the guest wing. Flirting with him and using this as a reason to cheer up while his life felt as if it was ending. The embarrassment when he found out that he had flirted with nobody else than the jotun prince himself. The fight. And then Thor's reaction. Chaining him up. To punish Loki for the dire situation they were in without realizing that Loki was there with him, not against him. 

He sat up, shame bashing against his core, filling him from head to toe. Loki sobbed quietly. Like that they sat for a while, each of them surrounded by their own misery. 

When Thor turned back around to him he saw Loki flinch again. Afraid of him...

Slowly Thor took his hand. 

"Loki." He paused and his soft tone made Loki look up, his eyes still full of tears. 

Thor's eyes caressed over his husband's face and he felt like he had never felt before. 

A deep and aching compassion. 

"I… I am sorry." too many words clocked up his throat. How to explain all this. 

Loki looked up at him, waiting for what else he had to say, his expression a mixture of astonishment, anxiety and… maybe hope? 

This time it was Thor who averted his eyes. He squeezed Loki's hand a bit to ground himself while he searched for words. 

"You are right. I did flirt with you, thinking you somebody else. I think I did it because the prospect of marriage was closing in on me like a cage. And I tried to rebel against it in every possible way. Doing… horrible things."

Thor paused, waiting until Loki's fresh wave tears subsided. "But since that day I understood that… you're not my enemy. You were stuck in that situation as much as me. Maybe more." The words left him and he looked around, searching for a way to convey what he wanted to express. His gaze came to rest on Loki again and new resolve rose in him. Thor's face was serious when he continued. "I want to try this with you. To make it work. That's why I don't visit others. Come home early. Woo you with gifts and surprises." 

"Wooing me…? Loki asked, sniffing. 

"Yeah. What else did you think I was doing with giving you pelts and showing you the library and hunt the greatest deer and such…" Thor felt his cheeks heat up. Had Loki not seen all that? All the time he had devoted to make him feel more at home? 

"I… never heard that word before. I don't think we have a similar concept on Jotunheim." 

They stared at each other for a couple of moments. Thor blinked. 

"I wooed you. To show you that I want you as my husband. And that means I'm faithful and try to make you happy." Thor explained clumsily. 

Loki nodded carefully, his tears had dried up.

"W-... What am I supposed to do then? In this wooing?" 

"You? You just… uhm… are pretty and tell me if you like what I present to you. So that I can find something else. Give me hints what to search for."

Loki nodded slowly, thinking. 

Then he looked up. His gaze was tentative, unsure. He licked his lips. 

"I don't like deer." He tried. When Thor just watched him waiting he soldiered on. "I like fish. We mostly eat fish back home."

A smile spread over Thor's face. "I can work with that."

The talk ended shortly after this. Loki slipped into the bathroom to clean his face and take a breath. When he came back Thor laid with his face to Loki's side of the bed. And when the crown prince's fingers touched his hand a bit later, he did not pull it back, but took Thor's in his. Their hands linked together they sank into sleep. 


	21. The Strong And The Weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who wrote a whole chapter on the train! Me! XD  
The story is like a snake. I know how the end looks like and how to get there but on the way it's writhing this and that way. I hope you guys like it.

"Go on! It's a dare!" 

"But… I'm not good at it!" 

"You are learning! Nobody expects you to be perfect. And you will become better with time."

Thor smiled at him but, Loki eyed the training ground with anxious suspicion. Since Thor's friends were back they occupied the place and Loki had not trained here. But now Thor had dragged him out here right after he had found him in the library. 

"Come on. It'll be fun!" 

Unwillingly Loki followed along when Thor marched over to the sand fields. His friends turned when he neared them, raising their hands in greeting. 

"Good day, friends. Loki will train with us today." Thor boomed and it seemed to be a reason for joy since his friends did so too.

Loki stepped closer tentatively, looking around, already planning his retreat. 

To his relief Fandral was occupied with Sif, both of them getting ready for a sword fight. Even if Thor's explanation had been somewhat believable that he was not his lover, Loki still felt uncomfortable around him. He could not point out why, but all he knew was that 'flirting' was supposed to make someone feel cherished and good. Not humiliated and vulnerable. And whatever Fandral thought he was doing, his effect on Loki was the later. 

"Hogun. How about you show Loki some tricks with the blade?" Thor asked while he bandaged his hands and wrists for a fight with the red-bearded guy named Volstagg. 

Loki did not wait for the answer. To mask his anxiety in front of Thor's friends he walked over to the weapons rack to get some daggers. During Thor's training lessons he had learned that he was ambidextrous with weapons and could wield two at the same time. At least if he had enough time to focus. 

"Are you ready?" a deep voice next to him asked. Loki suppressed a flinch and turned to the man named Hogun. With him he had exchanged almost no words until now. His dark eyes and his unemotional face were unreadable and made Loki feel uneasy. 

"Yes! I am ready!" he squeaked and followed the man to a free area of the field. Hogun, holding a short, one-handed sword, moved into position. 

Loki followed as Thor had shown him, bending his knees a little, lifting the blades shoulder wide apart. He pressed his lips together and waited for the attack. 

*

It took some time for Thor to unwind and let go of the tension he had felt in the face of his duties, but a few rounds of wrestling with Volstagg managed to calm him down. This was simply one of the best ways to relax. Aside from things he wanted to explore with his husband. But that was a completely different subject. 

Sweaty and out of breath, but feeling better than the whole morning he got up and held out his hand for Volstagg to grab on. 

"You're getting old, my friend. Do your children not give you enough training?" 

Volstagg laughed at that and swiped the sweat from his brow. "They're not as half as big as you, my prince. And not as half as nasty!"

Thor laughed about the jest, but then he recognized that Volstagg did not laugh with him. In fact he looked over Thor's shoulder and frowned. 

"What is it, friend?" Thor turned to see what was catching Volstagg's attention. He saw Hogun and Loki training. But obviously something was not right. 

Hogun stood above Loki, showing almost no signs of exertion. Loki however, sat in the dirt, panting heavily. Judging from the state of his clothes it wasn't the first time for him to land in the dust. And he didn't get up again. 

Thor, an uneasy feeling creeping up his spine, excused himself to his friend with a clasp on his shoulder and then went over to his husband and his opponent. 

"Hey you two, what's going on." And to his husband. "You okay, Loki?" 

Hogub snorted. "He's just a pansy."

Loki flinched at that and Thor turned to Hogun again. 

"I told you that he has not much experience in weapons training." 

"He falls over his feet by the lightest attack. How am I supposed to train with him?" 

"Haven't you've been a beginner once? How have you started?" 

"Not by throwing myself in the dirt when a blow comes."

When Thor turned to Loki again, he already had left the sand. With his head between his shoulders he buggered off as fast as he could, leaving the daggers where they were. 

Hogun shook his head with disdain clearly written over his face. 

"You sure that you want him on the training fields? I think he's better suited to stay inside." 

Thor carded his fingers through his hair. 

"Norns…" This handt gone so well. 

*

"I should prefer to not talk about it." was all Thor got from Loki when he found him in their chambers later. He had locked himself in the study and no friendly word could make him open the door for his husband. 

Unsure what to do - he had done nothing wrong! - Thor let go of the topic. All he could think off was to see to it that it didn't come to such an situation again. He watched the closed study door. Maybe Hogun was right and Loki was not suited for weapons. Maybe he had a more delicate condition than the average aesir. 

He sighed. To befriend Loki with his companions seemed to be a lost case. 

Loki did not speak with Thor for the rest of the day and refused to come out of the study. 

*

Another week passed. 

As expected, Loki from now on avoided Thor's friends. He went to breakfast early and excused when they showed up. It wasn't easy on Thor but there was nothing he could have done. They would not become friends it seemed.

This morning Thor and Loki ate together quite early, due to another council meeting that was scheduled for today. Loki was quiet during the meal, drawing back to his usual masked self that Thor knew by now. He stopped his attempts to make conversation with his silent spouse and sulked over his own meal until Tyr arrived at the table. 

"Regent, prince Loki. Good morning. I hope you have rested well." the old man greeted them and sat down. 

Thor looked from him to his docile husband and back. 

An idea rose inside him. 

"Uncle!" he began, wetting his lisp. "It's fortunate that we meet here so early. Loki and me wanted to have a word in private with you." 

Both of the mentioned looked up, surprised, Loki even vary, but Thor soldiered on. 

"We've been talking about the negotiations with the dwarves the other day. And prince Loki mentioned a part of the dawrven mining law that needs consideration regarding the way the treaty is discussed."

Tyr perked up. It was obvious that it was a welcome surprise to learn that his nephew spent a single thought on the council meeting in his spare time. He leaned in to Loki, interested. 

"And that is?" 

Loki, clearly intimidated by the eyes on him swallowed the bite he had been chewing on. He looked to Thor, as if to make sure that he should voice what they had discussed. He cleared his throat, looking on his plate. 

"Uhm… well, you see, lord Tyr. The uhm… the mining law mentions a sovereign. As the ambassador had pointed out. But... that refers to the dwarven king, not the liege lord of Asgard. And because of that…" 

Thor watched them talk and could not hide the proud swell of his chest. Loki's voice was quiet, but the more he spoke the more confident he became. 

Tyr took him for serious and asked questions on certain details and the jotun prince could answer them right away. Soon both of the scholars were deep in a discussion about laws, treaties, expectations and cultural differences. 

And to his surprise, Thor was able to follow. He and Loki had discussed this topic beforehand a lot and both shared the opinion that the dwarves tried to outsmart the council. But Loki could phrase it way better since he based it on tons of historical and legal information from his books while Thor could only call it a gut feeling.

And Tyr listened! 

"This… this is a good point, prince Loki. Thor." he rubbed his beard. "I'm not sure if the ambassador does it on purpose though."

"Maybe not. But he should be informed about our knowledge." Loki looked at Thor for help. Despite his hesitation he looked more alive than the whole morning. 

"Maybe outside of the official council." Thor leaned back in his seat. "Dwarves are proud people. Give him a chance to rectify in private." 

Tyr nodded. "That's how we do it. Regent, prince Loki." He smiled. 

And for once Thor smiled with him. 

*

They meet the dwarven ambassador before the next meeting was scheduled. It was mainly Tyr who talked to him, but Loki helped out with facts he knew from his readings. 

To Thor's surprise the dwarf wasn't even embarrassed to be caught and confronted, neither was he very angry. Of course, it didn't sit right with him that his strategy got busted, but all in all the exchange reminded Thor of the training grounds. One tried to overcome the others defences with wits and cunning strategy, sometimes just sheer luck. And if defeated they gratulated the winner and tried again next time. 

He had never seen it like this, but the dwarf even thanked Loki for his deep understanding of his cultural lore and walked away without making a scene. 

It was amazing. 

Tyr nodded to them, a smile playing around his bearded face, before he followed the dwarven ambassador into the council room. Loki stayed out, his hands still shaking with nerves, but his cheeks were flushed and his eyes shining. He seemed to glow with pride and energy and Thor wanted to pull him into a corner and kiss him silly. 

Instead he stepped up to him and touched his shoulder. "Good work, husband."

Before Loki could form an answer however, a chill feeling crept up the spines. With wonder Thor recognized that his breath was visible in the air. Loki, looking over Thor's shoulder, stilled. 

The feeling of a sudden threat made Thor's hair stand at its end. He turned around in a swift movement, his cape swooshing behind him. 

Helblindi strolled closer, his massive feet surprisingly quiet on the stone floor. 

"Well well, how surprising." He greeted the royal pair with a bow of his head. "I had the pleasure to watch your small exchange there. How cunning." 

Thor bowed his head in greeting too. From the corner of his eye he recognized that Loki was frozen to the spot with his head down. 

"But I must admit…" the tall jotun continued, his grin becoming nasty. "... I wouldn't have guessed that the golden prince of Asgard gives the reins of ruling his kingdom to an  _ argr _ ."

Loki gasped, his eyes wide. Gone was the flush, the bright shine. Only the trembling remained. 

Thor regarded the jotun ambassador with a frown. "What are you talking about?!" 

"Ah, I apologize. The word may translate badly into Allspeak. In the jotnar language  _ argr _ is the word for the seidmarer runt. They are weak in body, mind and soul. Unfit of making any decisions and thus married off to a strong partner to take care of them." 

"If you'll excuse me…" Loki mumbled and before Thor could even say or do something he fled, his head still down, ducked between his shoulders. 

Thor watched him leave, before he turned to Helblindi, his eyes small. Thunder rumbled in the distance. 

"I don't think Loki is weak. And I tell you this once,  _ ambassador _ ." He stepped closer and electricity played around his fist. "He is my  _ spouse _ and thus part of the royal family of Asgard. Insult him and you insult the throne of the golden realm."

Helblindi held up his hands, surprise and contrition on his face. "Beware, this was not my intention. I just wanted to inform you about jotun lore on creatures as my lovely sibling. The argr have their advantages though." he leaned in. "But I bet you are already aware of these." He made a lewd gesture and laughed. 

Thor glared at him, for once speechless, but the jotun only bowed his head, before he stepped into the chamber of the council. 

"Regent. You're coming?" Tyr asked, leaning out the door. Thor watched him a moment before he turned without a word and left with long strides, leaving his baffled uncle and the blasted council behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor plays in team Loki now! :D


	22. Parts Of The Past

Loki was nowhere to be found. 

After searching the hallways Thor looked for him in the library, but no matter where he went in the huge and contorted chambers, his husband was not there. Which was unsettling. 

The aesir prince regarded the quiet bustle between the bookshelves with a frown. Where should he look next. When Loki wasn't here, it was obvious that he wished to be alone. Which meant he was most likely unwilling to talk about what had happened. But Thor could not stop the thoughts from running. 

He already knew that the relationship with his brothers wasn't exactly warm (or cold from jotun perspective), but the incident in the hallway made that apparent in a startling way. Together with the glares Loki had gotten from Byleistr at their wedding it painted a picture that Thor was not fond off. 

Argr…

Not for the first time he wondered how Loki's life had been before he was married off. He said he had lived in a cloister. The place had looked pathetic and kind of deserted. Not a place where the life was bustling and rustling. Still he seemed to be fond of the monks he had lived with. But his family…? Thor had no idea. Or more precisely, he had an idea, thanks to Helblindi. And it wasn't a nice one. 

Thor thought on the incident on the training ground a week ago. Hogun's remark about Loki being a pansy. His own thoughts of him as weak and unfit to fight. It was what had been drilled into his spouse for a long time it seemed… 

'Unworthy!' 

Suddenly Thor had the feeling that the walls were closing in on him, a sensation that he often felt inside when the pressure of being crown prince became too much. The reasons may have been different this time, but nevertheless had the urge to draw breath. Now! 

His feet carried him away from the library and to the great place in front of the main entrance of Asgard's royal palace. In the sun he took a deep breath. Usually in such a situation he would have saddled his horse and left the city to clear his head. But this time it was not him at the odds with his parents or his uncle. This was about Loki. 

Loki did not speak of home. But in fact, Thor had never asked. He had been busy with his own problems, with the lack of understanding from his father and the you-are-still-a-child-handling of his uncle. 

Compared to Loki's family both of them were role-model relatives. Yes, they had married him off to a stranger from another race. Yes, he had been the bargain chip in this peace after waging war had not been enough. But neither of them had referred to him as someone who was only good for warming the sheets. 

'Weak in body, mind and soul.'

Bullshit!

If Loki had endured Helblindi as older brother, he was stronger than he looked. And Thor would tell him that! 

His eyes roamed over the golden walls that glistened in the sunlight. To tell Loki anything, he had to find him first. Thor's gaze stopped at the balcony of his chambers. While he found space and peace outside the golden walls Loki retreated inside.

His cape thrashed behind him when he turned and marched inside, on the way to their rooms. 

*

"Loki?" 

Thor closed the door to his chambers behind himself. Slowly he walked into the center of the room, his feet quiet on the thick carpet. 

The living room was quiet and the curtains drawn. All in all the place looked abandoned, only a little light filtering inside. Thor, his hands resting on his hips, looked around. 

The door to the study stood ajar, but no sound was to be heard. Quietly Thor neared it and peeked through the crack. 

Thor's gaze softened at the sight of his sleeping husband. Loki's dark hair fanned against the high chair's backrest, his knees were pulled up to his chest and his eyes closed. Loki had seeked refuge in the place he felt safe and then fallen asleep. Apparently he had not expected his husband to come looking for him or he would have locked the door again. 

Thor watched his husband for a few moments before he stepped into the room quietly. 

Loki slept peacefully, but he was pale. His lips were red and chafed, as if he had gnawed on them. He looked small on the high chair and… lonely. 

Thor's hand reached out to touch his shoulder and wake him, talk to him. But then he stopped. His fingers hovered above Loki's skin. 

He had retreated here, hadn't he? 

Thor thought a moment. 

If he rode out of the city to clear his head, to find peace… how would he like it if somebody came after him to pester him with why and what? 

He frowned.

He would rip off the person's head, that much was sure. 

Slowly he pulled his hand back, frowning.

*

Loki woke with a jolt. 

His heart beat loudly in his chest. His eyes roamed around the surrounding frantically. 

It had been a dream! A dream! 

Byleistr dragging him around on a chain, for everybody to see how weak and pathetic he was. How argr. Handing the chain to Thor to drag him further. Into the great hall where all of Asgard waited to celebrate the wedding. 

He was pulled forward and all the faces turned into grimace. Thor's friends, his uncle, and his parents laughing at him. The whole of Asgard and Jotunheim laughing at him. Until he could do nothing but kneel on the floor with his bound hands pressed over his ears to drone out the noise of the cruel laughter. 

Loki rubbed his sweaty palms over his knees and forced a few deep breaths down. Then he used his sleeve to clean his face. 

A dream. 

Cruel, but not real. Or not… entirely. 

During his stay in the cloister he had almost forgotten what he was. How Byleistr and Helblindi regarded him. 

Argr. 

The monks had never called him that. 

Of course not! Despite his appearance he was a prince and his will to learn had pleased them. So he forgot over the passing ages what he was. 

Loki's gaze rose from the past to the place he was in now. Maybe the aesir did not see him like that. He was not small if measured by their standard. Thor and Tyr had even complimented his knowledge and today, he had helped to solve a problem. Maybe… the taint of his birth was not as visible here, on Asgard? 

But that hope was futile, wasn't it? The training grounds had shown how weak and pathetic he truly was. And the aesir, as the jotun, were a warrior race. Only the strong deserved to be heard. Nobody would listen to his thoughts anymore, when it was brought to light that Loki was… 

He got up from his seat on wobbly legs. 

In his retreat Loki had drawn the curtains and thus no idea what time it was. But no matter what time, he had duties to attend. 

He had to leave the room, to go the hall for dinner, he had to be seen on Thor's side. He could not risk rumors to spread why he still did not attend the gatherings. Weak not only in body, but also in mind and soul. 

With a few grips he smoothed down his hair and clothes. A thought rose in him. 

'You need to be pretty'. 

Thor had made that clear the other night. In wooing he his part was to be appealing to the eye. Frigga too had suggested that his appearance was his main asset as future queen - why else should they have spent so much time and effort on his wardrobe. So being pretty was what he would do! No matter how weak, this he could accomplish. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard Helblindi's laughter. 

'Don't think about him.'

He would go to the living room and call Erla to help him getting dressed. Braid his hair. He had to look good on Thor's side. Worthy. 

Loki stepped out of the study, only to stop with a gasp. 

"Hey there." Thor grinned at him. 

The crown prince of Asgard was on the floor, shirtless and sweaty. He had propped himself up on his arms, parallel to the floor, his legs straight and pulled himself up and down. When Loki stepped in tentatively, Thor stopped his exercise and got up from the ground. His face was red but he smiled widely. 

"I found you sleeping and didn't want to wake you."

Loki smoothed his hair down one more time, unsure what to say. 

"You've been looking for me?" 

"Aye." Thor grabbed a towel and wiped over his face and neck. "But then I got bored and exercised a bit."

Loki regarded him carefully. It touched him that Thor had waited for him to wake up. In fact he would have expected him to just leave when he found his husband sleeping. That thought made him pause. In fact, Loki found it rather polite to let him sleep in the first place. His family or the monks would have simply waken him up, no matter if he needed the rest or not. But that Thor had occupied himself in their chambers while he waited was… something he was not able to fully grasp. 

Loki swallowed the raising nervousness and stepped closer. 

"Thank you, Thor. For waiting for me." He looked up to him but shyness made him avert his eyes again soon. He had no idea how to behave around Thor on a good day, let alone one that had been so disastrous as today. But from the corner of his eye he saw Thor's smile growing wider. 

"You're welcome." 

Loki bit his lip, a tiny smile playing around his mouth too. "How about I get dressed? And we go to dinner together?" he dared to ask. 

"I think I'd like that."

*

The evening went quiet. To everybody's relief Helblindi was nowhere to be seen. Tyr sat with them and informed over dinner how the negotiations went. Surprisingly he said nothing about Thor's disappearance, but discussed some aspects of the mining law with them. Loki was quiet. 

After dinner Loki followed Thor back to their chambers and the darkness around him had left a bit, he even seemed content and calm. 

When they arrived in the private part of the palace Thor intertwined his fingers with Loki's and he did not pull back. Hand in hand they walked back to the rooms and before they went to bed they exchanged a smile. 

But Thor felt that Loki was still thinking about the incident of today. He hid it behind a polite mask, smiling and pretending that nothing bothered him. But it was there. 

After Loki's breath had eased into an even rhythm Thor laid awake for a long time, thinking. 

*

From now on Loki spent time in the library and was not present at the council meetings any longer. Thor suspected that it was related to Helblindi's presence but he did not ask. He missed him there because his calm and collected behaviour had rubbed off on him. Still they discussed the meetings in the evenings and went over the plans for the kingdom together. This made Loki smile. But it wasn't the same.

Loki kind of seemed to have given up.

Given up to play a role at court, to rule beside Thor. He answered when Thor asked him about something, even seemed to enjoy the talk. But he did not approach Thor out of his own volition. 

During meals and when both of them were expected somewhere, Loki smiled and sat beside him with grace and restraint, proper and as beautiful as a queen of Asgard could be. Saying not a single word. 

It began to drive Thor nuts. He even contemplated to do something stupid to anger Loki out of his retreat and make him yell 'oaf!' again. 

Thor had to do something. And maybe this time something he even liked himself! 


	23. Out In The Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fear this chapter has turned out kind of boring, but they need to get to know each other more and it just came out like this.  
I hope you still enjoy it. :3

"I'm not sure if that is a good idea."

"I want to do something fun. I can't stand another hour within these walls!"

"Go out then."

"But I want you to come with me!"

"In Ymir's name, why?!" 

"I want to show you something!" 

"Uh." Loki hesitated. He obviously wasn't fond of the idea. But Thor simply grabbed his hand and pulled him along. "Well then…"

Thor smiled widely when he led Loki to the stables. His spouse was not looking forward to leaving the city gates, because that meant riding a horse, but he had no choice than to follow along. 

Thor decided to not use his usual ride but a tamer one, since Loki was highly suspicious of the animals and ready to bolt. 

Thialfi, a broad shouldered grey shire horse possessed the disposition of a wooden log. Riding him felt like sitting on a couch. Perfect for the first stroll with a nervous husband in tow. 

"It's… huge." Loki muttered and eyed the horse varily. 

"He's smaller than one of your ice beasts." Thor gave back and strapped the bags he had prepared to the saddle. Then he pulled himself up onto the horse's back. Thialfi didn't even blink. 

"Nobody tries to ride them." Loki looked up to him, his arms crossed. But he did not run away either. 

Thor counted it as a win. 

"No fun on Jotunheim then. Come here. I'll help you up."

Despite his husband's obvious reserve Thor bowed down and grabbed Loki around his waist. Loki yelped, but with a few grips the slender young man sat in front of Thor, leaning onto him for support. 

Thor smiled to himself.

"Don't worry. It's totally safe. And I only let him walk."

He reached right and left past Loki's arms to grab the reins while Loki settled against him. It had a nice intimate touch to ride like this. Thialfi started to move, raising another small yelp from Loki, but else the prince was silent. Thor didn't comment on it and led the horse to the city gates. 

*

Slowly Loki grew accustomed to sitting on a horse. And leaning onto Thor's broad chest. It wasn't _so_ _bad_ in fact. Despite that Thor still made him nervous Loki did not feel threatened by him anymore. 

Loki blinked when the thought rose in him. It surprised him that his feelings had changed, but it was true. And when he thought about it… Thor had changed too. He still was brash and uncontrolled often. But Loki learned to see this more and more as part of his boisterous nature and not aimed at himself. Thor had not threatened him with lightning or anything else since Loki had expressed his fear towards such behaviour. He even was more patient and calm around him than around any other. That was something. He saw that Thor  _ tried _ and that was something nobody else had ever done for him. 

Hopefully it would last. 

Loki played with the reins and let his eyes wander around. They had left the city about and hour ago and now trotted over a small road between lush fields. It was quite, aside from the sounds of various birds and insects. 

"It's cooler out here. Even as we ride in the sunlight." Loki mused, almost talking to himself. 

"That's the wind coming from the mountains. In the city the walls keep the heat in. But here it's more fresh."

Loki looked over his shoulder, a tentative smile on his lips. "I like it."

Thor grinned. "I hoped you would."

They rode into the countryside, the heavy horse trotting along the muddy ways in peace. Thor waved at the farmers who tended to the fields and they waved back. 

"Where do you know them from? From the markets?" Loki wondered. "I suppose farmers are not common at court, even in Asgard."

"No they are not." Thor gave back and paused, his eyes roaming over the landscape, but his mind wandering in the past. 

"When I was younger I often ran away from the palace. Of course I never made it very far. But sometimes I hid in the barns around here and the farmers gave me water and talked to me."

"You...ran away?" Loki looked up to him over his shoulder. "Why?" 

Thor thought a few moments, his lips pressed together. "Sometimes the feeling of… drowning became too much. When father's demands piled on my head like stones. Especially when I was an adolescent with wild ideas and an easily disturbed heart."

"I… I think I know that feeling."

"Hm…"

"But I never ran away."

"Why not?" 

Loki thought for a moment, playing with the hem of his sleeve. 

"I think… I think I feared my sire would not-... I feared if I left I would not be welcomed back. It never occurred to me to run, I was so busy with trying to earn the approval."

Thor hummed in response and they rode in silence for a while. 

Loki thought about what they had shared, that the young Thor had possessed the bravery to simply flee the palace when the burden had been too much. Loki had never considered such and then been sent away anyway. But maybe it was because Thor had no siblings. Nobody would sent his only child away. 

Despite the moody thoughts Loki's was fascinated by the surrounding and willing to become distracted. With wide eyes he took in how different Asgard was outside the palace. And how surprisingly similar to Jotunheim. All the greenery, the prospering nature and the countless animals surprised him. From his balcony in the palace fields and woods had appeared like a green and brown wall, lifeless and dull. But now that he was out here in the open he recognized that the high grass was bustling with life and the trees were full of birds. 

It reminded him of his home, where the ice appeared dead and lifeless until one wandered out there alone, to discover all the wonders in the frozen cracks and by the cold ponds. Animals who lived in small caves and tunnels and came out to hunt, sporting all shades of white, grey and blue. 

He turned to Thor and smiled at him, pointing to a bird that had been alarmed by the passing horse and flow to the sky. 

"A pheasant!" Thor said. "Too bad I don't have my bow."

"We have similar birds at home. They are called fasans. But we don't hunt them."

"Why not?“

Loki shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not an expert when it comes to hunting."

"We should do that sometime. I bet you can be very still and quiet."

"Hm, yes. I can sit in one place and do nothing for hours."

"Perfect for hunting then."

Loki frowned despite his smile. What was Thor trying to do? Complimenting him for his meager skills? Was this a jest Loki could not understand? Or was this genuine, an attempt to… make him feel  _ capable… _ ? 

They remained silent, Loki confused and a bit anxious, while Thor led the horse away from the fields and into a wood. It was cooler in the shadows and the bird's songs surrounded them. They rode for a while under the high trees, Thialfi as undisturbed as ever. 

Loki watched the shadows that the leaves painted on his hands. It was beautiful and reminded him of the reflections when he had been in an ice grove and the meager light was amplified by the frozen water above.

It was as if Thor could read his mind. "How was your life on jotunheim?"

Loki sat up a bit more. "What do you mean?" 

"I don't know. Your childhood. How was your childhood? Aside from not running away." he chuckled. 

"I think pretty normal. Until it became apparent that I was… a runt."

"Does that happen often?" 

"What? Me showing no effort to grow more?" 

"No. That jotun are born who…you know..." 

"I can't say for sure. Usually runts are killed."

"What?!"

Loki did not answer. Thor shifted his weight. He clearly felt uncomfortable, but still continued. 

"Your brother made it look like as there were… smaller jotun…  _ occasionally _ ." Somehow Thor seemed to avoid the word  _ runt _ . Or  _ argr _ for that matter. Was this some kind of unexpected decency? Still Loki felt uncomfortable with the topic. 

He frowned. "Maybe. I know no other. But I heard the comments behind my back. That I was… different. In a undesirable way. That it might be better to get rid of me. I don't know why sire never acted on it… " 

To Loki's own surprise all of this felt like far away. As if he was telling the tale of somebody else's life. Not his own. The feelings connected to that past were there. But distant. Like under ice. To be seen, but not to be touched. 

"However. Laufey never tried to get rid of me and I was thankful for that. When I turned out as a seidmarer I was brought to the cloister to be safe there." 

And out of the way. 

Thor listened to all that and said nothing. But his silence was comforting in a way. Loki had never told anybody about all this and it felt as if he and Thor were connected by this secrets now. In a way. He leaned back against Thor's chest, a silent sign that he was not mad at him and they rode on, each of them hanging to their own thoughts. 

"Look. We're there." Thor's hand pointed to a part of the wood where the light broke through the greenery and Loki let go of the dark memories to see what he was showing. 

They rode through a thicket and onto a clearing where a stream of clear water made its way with gurgling noises. The stony bed let the water splash, spraying drops glimmering in the sun. 

Thor made Thialfi stop on the grass and dismounted. With his hands on Loki's waist he helped him down before he started to unpack the bags. 

Loki looked around. This was a truly peaceful place, small and guarded by the tall trees, the water appearing fresh and clear and the mossy grass soft and lush. He looked around with sparkling eyes, taking in this cozy place. Then he stepped to the stream and knelt down to let the waves caress his fingers. 

"It's ice cold!" he exclaimed, the sensation making him gasp. With an excited smile he turned to Thor. 

"It comes from the glacier in the mountains. Even in summer the water of this stream is cold enough to freeze ones balls" 

Loki blushed at the brash language, even if he slowly grew accustomed to such talk. Aesir just where more… pictorially. 

"It's nice…" he mused and let the water play around his fingers, even if they grew a bit numb. How joyful must it be to bathe in this water in his true form. 

A sudden surge of sadness made him pull his hand back. He turned to Thor. The aesir rubbed down the horse, saddle and luggage already on the ground. 

"You can spread the blanket. It's in the left bag." he instructed and Loki followed along to distract himself. There was no point in pondering on things he couldn't change anyway. 

In short they prepared a lush place to rest. Sitting on the thick blanket and some pillows, they shared a cup of watered down juice. It tasted sweet on Loki's tongue and he tried to find to a more happy mindset. Thor had not taken him to this place for him to brood, that much was sure. 

He smiled at Thor, daring to raise his eyebrow a little.

"Is this part of the wooing you intended to practice on me?" he asked and Thor answered with a wink. 

"Maybe. But the best part is about to come." He undid his laces and pulled out his shoes. Loki frowned in confusion. Wooing implied Thor's… naked feet? 

To his relieve Thor got up and rolled up his plant's legs over his knees. Then he marched to the stream. 

"What, are you going to-...?!" 

Thor already stepped into the freezing cold water. He hissed and his face was a picture that would warm Loki in cold nights, but right now he was just confused. 

"You woo me with freezing your toes off?" 

"If it is not bound to overcome a challenge it's not done correctly. Just you wait!" Thor pressed our between gritted teeth. Then he became silent, staring into the water. 

Loki watched him, stunned into silence by the aesir's curious behaviour. 

Time went by. 

Just when Loki was about to ask Thor to come out since his lips had turned blue and his rosy skin pale, his husband jumped forward with a yell. Both hands pushed into the water, fighting, grabbing, cold water sloshing everywhere and wetting him from head to toe. Loki watched the drama, his hands clasped in front of his mouth in shock how Thor bend and turned, yelling and fighting the bubbling water like a man possessed. 

Then he threw his hand up with a triumphant hoot. A large fish fidgeted weakly in his grasp, his silver body as long as Thor's whole arm

"Tad-daaa!" 

Loki jumped to his feet in surprise, watching how Thor carried his prey to the dry land. 

"That's-... that's amazing Thor. It's a salmon, no?" Loki regarded the fish with awe. It was a perfect specimen, strong and from a beautiful color. To his embarrassment he felt his stomach grumble at the thought of how such a fish might taste. 

"Let's get a fire going! Fishing makes me hungry!" Thor cheered despite the full body shiver he for from the cold. But a look into Loki's shocked face made him pause. 

"No way. That fish does not get cooked!" 

Thor just watched him confused. 

"Let me handle this!" Loki exclaimed and all Thor could do was hand over the fish. Loki, surprised by his own guts took it and turned to the stream. 

_ 'Please, norns. Don't let me ruin this!'  _


	24. Being Capable Of Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy fanwork day to you all! <3

Thor watched Loki prepare the fish by the stream while he lounged on the blanket. He wore only his pants, the rest of his clothes drying on the grass. He thanked the norns that the sun was strong enough to warm him up again after the icy experience. The things one did for a successful wooing… 

Loki worked with Thor's knife and mumbled to himself. He had been adamant about that he was going to serve the fish. And that without cooking or at least frying it first which was… odd. But Thor got the fish for him as a gift in the first place, and to be honest, he was not looking forward to a meal consisting of salmon, cooked or not. 

He watched him work. Had Loki even ever prepared a meal was the question. According to him he had spent his life mostly behind closed doors, reading. Thor observed him and it was obvious that his husband was nervous and hesitant in his movements, but he let him do what he wanted. The worst that could happen was that the fish wasn't edible. Probably tough as nails and tasting even more fish-like than when it was cooked to stewed or anything alike. 

Anyway, this was wooing after all, Thor thought and laid back with his hands behind his head. Overcoming challenges and so on. And if they came in form of food, so be it. 

He had done not so bad until now. Loki liked the place and he had been excited about the salmon. Now he was busy and not so moody like before. Thor counted it as a win.

"Alright. I think… I think this is uhm…" 

Thor sat up. Loki neared with two broad leaves, small slices of fish piled on top. A little bit of fine cut herbs was sprinkled over it but else it was… raw fish. Loki's cheeks were flushed and he bit his lip when he sat down next to Thor. 

"I never cut it myself but, uhm, well…" He handed Thor one of the leaves with an adorable smile. "Enjoy your meal!" 

Thor smiled, despite the food he was about to swallow. Even if Loki had gotten him snails he would have smiled and eaten it at this point. 

He put a bit of fish into his mouth. It was too big to swallow it whole so Thor had to chew it and… 

It was… delicious? 

The raw fish melted on his tongue, not in the slightest tough and not even a single fishbone to chew on. Even the taste was different than expected. Soft and cool and kind of… incredibly tasty. His eyes went wide while he chewed the rest of the bit, sounds of pleasure escaping him. 

Loki smiled happily. "You like it?!" 

Thor nodded, swallowing down the delicious bit. 

"This is… amazing, Loki."

Loki ducked his head and grinned before he put a piece of fish in his own mouth. "Hmmm…" he munched with closed eyes. "I've missed this taste…" 

They devoured the delicious meal in silence, Loki radiating pride about his accomplishment and Thor basking in it. Wooing successful he thought to himself when he placed the leaf aside. 

Then he leaned in with a smile, his intentions clear. Loki looked at him, his green eyes wide in question but still that beautiful smile playing around his lips. 

Thor grabbed Loki by the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Loki blinked in surprise but then his eyes closed when Thor's mouth was on his. 

When their lips meet, a bit of the taste of the food still lingered, but Thor couldn't care less. 

Loki let himself be lowered down on the blanket, opening his mouth for Thor to deepen the kiss. He even participated more than usual, his tongue darting out to caress Thor's lips in return. Thor hummed into the kiss before he started to suck on Loki's lips tenderly. His hand took hold of Loki's fingers and brought them to his naked chest. 

A shiver run through his husband but his hand stayed on Thor's warm skin, his thumb even caressing tentatively. 

Thor came above Loki, his mouth kissing to his jaw. Nimble fingers worked Loki's collar open to expose more of his skin. 

"What-... what are you doing?" Loki gasped, his eyes blinking. 

"Kissing" Thor gave back and moved to the place below Loki's ear. He scraped his teeth over this area softly which elicited a full-body shudder and a moan. 

Thor's hand had successfully entangled the layers of Loki's clothes and found its way under the fabric of the top. He cupped the left side of Loki's chest, thumbing over the nipple. 

Loki shoved against his shoulders. "Thor. What are you  _ doing _ !" 

Thor stopped his fumbling and regarded Loki with a frown. Then he nuzzled his cheek and tried to kiss him again. "Told you. Kiss…" 

But Loki still struggled. 

"Stop it! STOP!" he pulled away, now shoving hard against Thor's chest. 

Thor pulled back. 

"What?! A minute ago all was fine!" he let out, frustrated. 

Loki pulled his clothes together and averted his eyes. Closed off again. 

Thor exhaled through his nose and sat up. He turned away from Loki, resting his arms on his knees, shaking his head. This had gone downward pretty fast. 

Loki sat up too, still clutching his clothes. His chin shivered but he got it under control. 

"What were you trying to do?" he whispered. 

Thor turned to him. Slowly his anger faded when he saw that his husband was truly disturbed. But why? A moment ago all had been fine! 

He extended his hands in a helpless gesture. 

"What do you think? I tried to sleep with you."

Loki blushed so fast and strong that it was almost comically. 

"Out  _ here _ ?" he asked, his gaze to the ground. 

"Aye. Why not. The moment seemed right." 

"I don't want that."

"Loki…" Thor began, frustration piling up in him. No matter what he did, his husband was as cold as the plains of his homeland it seemed. 

"No. I don't… want to do this  _ here _ . Please?" Loki watched Thor with pleading eyes. 

Thor paused. 

"Are you saying… that you're not averse to… you know. Just not here. Like,  _ outside _ ?"

Loki nodded, his face still beet red.

"But, let's say, in our chambers, it would be okay?" 

Loki nodded again. 

Thor started to grin. This were good news! 

"I'd say we should leave. Now."

Loki looked at him with shock but when Thor winked at him his own smile started to grow. Thor snickered. This was way too hilarious! Loki shoved him, but that made him just laugh more. 

Loki started to giggle too and soon both of them were laughing out loud, holding onto each other to not fall back onto the grass. 

Thialfi looked up, watching the ridiculous humanoids, but then continued eating grass until it became quiet again. 

Thor swiped a tear out of his eyes and took a deep breath. 

"Let's go. It's getting late anyway."

Loki, who held his aching belly, nodded. But then he paused. 

"Thor."

"Hm?"

"Thank you. For bringing me here."

Thor smiled warmly. 

"Your welcome."

*

The ride home was peaceful. Loki leaned against Thor and let his eyes wander over the landscape. Their fingers were intertwined and Thor felt at easy. Companionable silence stretched between them on the way back to the palace until Loki spoke up quietly. 

"You did a great deed today. Defeating a mighty fish. Making me laugh."

"I wasn't the only one."

"Huh?"

"You prepared the most delicious meal. And you made me laugh too. More than I have in a long time to be honest."

Loki took the compliment with a smile. 

He had done it. Since he came to Asgard, he had done a lot of things he never dared dream about. At first it had been surviving. But then it slowly evolved into more. And most of it because of Thor. Who would have guessed! But in fact it had been Thor who had enabled him to dive into diplomacy. Who taught him how to fight. Who showed him pleasure of the body. 

Loki blushed again, but this time it didn't bother him. 

Helblindi had taken away the first from him and Hogun the second. But the last, nobody would rip out of his hands. He would hold onto it, with all his might. 

Loki stopped. He stared at the road ahead and the golden walls of the palace that came into view.

He could hold onto it. Couldn't he? Grip it tight and never let go? Even fight for it? 

"Loki?" Thor leaned in, concerned. "What's going on? You're all stiff all of a sudden." 

"I-... it's nothing." Loki gave back. His mind raced. He could do it. He could. 

*

The way back took longer than expected and it already darkened when they arrived in Asgard. To Thor's surprise Loki excused himself as soon as they dismounted by the stables. He did not look angry or worried, so Thor let him go and saw to that Thialfi was cared for. After that he had to go and see Tyr over dinner as he had promised in the morning. It diminished his good mood a little, since he had hoped to play with his husband in the sheets, but it could not be helped. 

Loki did not come to dinner and when Thor went to bed he was still occupied somewhere. Thor asked himself if this was his way to tell him that he was not interested in laying with him but somehow this felt different. 

The next morning Thor woke up next to rumpled sheets but his husband was nowhere to be seen. Erla informed him that Loki had risen very early, telling her he had work to do. Thor shook his head, but since Loki was not sulking in their chambers any longer he let it slip and went to his own duties. 

Two days passed like this. Loki was out of sight most of the time and when Thor saw him he appeared deep in thought. He tried to coax out of him what he was doing but all he got was "study". So he let it go. Tyr occupied most of his days anyway, especially since Thor was also overseeing the tactical planning and various other things he had not done before. His uncle seemed to hold him in higher regards now and invited him for a lot of things to go over and discuss. In the evenings his head was heavy and when Loki laid down beside him both fell into a deep slumber. 

But that came to an end on the third day after the ride out. 

*

It was a mild and sunny afternoon when Thor got out of the palace earlier to do some rounds on the training ring. He laughed with Fandral and Sif while they got ready for a bout when a rising murmur made him look over his shoulder. 

It was Loki who caught the attention, marching over the training field, his slender body tense but his head high and his chin forward. He was wearing simple clothes in black and green, in aesir style, his hair pulled back neatly. 

Loki stepped up to where his husband and friends were getting ready for training, stopping right in front of Hogun. 

"Lord Hogun. I dare you for a fight in training."

Thor's eyes went wide. Whatever he had expected, this wasn't it! 

Hogun changed his weight from one foot to the other, crossing his arms in a appraising way. 

"You sure?" he asked, raising one eyebrow. 

Thor stepped closer, his hands raised in warning. 

"Loki…" 

"I am. Fight me on the field of honor, lord Hogun."

This almost made Hogun's mouth corner twitch. 

Thor grimaced. This would not end well. 

Loki however, was determined and stepped to the training field with no delay. He took position close to the center, his small shoulders squared and his jaw set. Each hand held a dagger. 

People gathered on the border of the training area. This was something everybody wanted to see. 

Hogun came closer, his movements that of a predator surrounding his prey. He held the one-handed sword in a relaxed grip, transfixing his opponent, trying to feel himself into the situation. His eyes were small. 

"Attack me. I will block you!" Loki said loudly and only Thor could hear the minimal squeak in his voice. He crossed the daggers in front of himself, fixating his glare on Hogun.

The man nodded. Then, without warning he jumped forward! His blade came around in a silvery circle, ready to knock the weapon from Loki's hand. 

The sword hit a invisible barrier and green sparks flew from the point of impact. Thor held his breath as he watched how Hogun, from the power of his own blow, was thrown back. 

The warrior landed in the dirt. 

Loki's eyes widened, but he kept his calm, the daggers still raised. 

Hogun jumped to his feet. The sword made a circle in his hand before he gripped it tightly again. 

"That's magic! Unfair!" Volstagg barked and pointed at Loki, but his eyes were on Thor. 

"He told me to block him! I did! Nobody specified how!" Loki defended himself without leaving the eyes of Hogun. 

Thor crossed his arms. 

"Yep. Nobody specified."

Volstagg looked scandalized but then continued to watch. 

Hogun ran up to Loki with a cry, raising his blade with all his power. 

It hit the barrier and green lightning crackled around Loki like a cage. 

Hogun flew back, but landed on his feet. The crowd cheered. 

Again and again Hogun tried to overcome the barrier, but Loki held fast and withstood. The sound of magic against steel, green sparks and silver shine of the blade filled the air and more and more spectators came over to watch. 

Loki's eyes darted around when the crowd grew, anxiety rising in his tense posture and tight grip on the daggers. 

Hogun readied himself for a final blow, sensing that his opponent grew vary being surrounded by armed aesir warriors. He bend his knees to make an attack with a full force, then jumped. 

Loki, seeing that this attack would break his barrier, threw both of his hands forward. 

A shocked sound rose from the crowd. 

Thor gaped. 

The blow met Hogun square on, throwing him back a few feet. He staggered and then fell


	25. Match made in Heaven

Thor rushed to the training field. Two daggers from this close were even for an aesir a deadly threat and Hogun had met them square on. 

His friend laid on the ground, moaning. 

There was no blood.

No blades sticking out of his flesh. 

Thor turned to Loki, dumbfounded.

Loki still had the daggers in hand, breathing hard, sweat on his brow. He had thrown the barrier at Hogun! Now his eyes wandered to Thor and fear was written there. 

*

Loki watched how Thor bowed over his friend. From the corner of his eye he saw the people staring at him. His heart hammered in his chest. What would happen now?! 

Again, he had acted recklessly, out of his hurt pride. Challenged the warrior under the eyes of everybody. And on top of that, used his magic to defeat him! 

This had never ended well for him, even at home where he had  _ not  _ been surrounded by warriors of the enemy. 

He let the daggers fall to the sand. His eyes darted around but then landed on Thor. His husband looked as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened.

What would they do to him?! 

Thor started to move. With long strides he walked over to him and Loki flinched, raising his unarmed hands to prevent…

Thor grabbed him and Loki yelped, expecting pain, even death. But then he was lifted up and… swirled around? 

Thor's wide grinning face looked up to him, his booming laughter making it through the haze of panic. 

"Look what you did! Blasted Hogun to the ground! My fierce little husband!" he cheered loudly, hurling Loki in circles, making him dizzy. 

Loki clung to Thor's shoulders for dear life, but slowly he recognized that some of the spectators, Sif and Fandral in specific, started to cheer and clap too. Volstagg had his arms crossed in front of him, but smiled while shaking his head fondly. The crowd of other warriors slowly disappeared, the show was over.

Thor set Loki on his feet again, grinning down on him. 

"How by the norns did you do that?!" 

Loki smoothed down his hair with shaking fingers, unable to look at him or somebody else. 

"It's… it's just a spell. I-..." 

"It's  _ amazing _ ! Mother never said that seidr can be used in battle like this!" 

"Good job prince Loki" Fandral cheered and Volstagg nodded. Even Sif smiled at him. 

In the meantime Hogun had gotten up and back to his feet. He swiped over his dirty trousers and then came over in slow pace.

Loki felt his defenses coming up again, especially when Thor stepped aside, making way for his friend. 

Hogun's face was impassive. In a quick motion he extended his hand and Loki flinched back. But then he saw that it was an invitation to clasp the other's underarm in the fashion of aesir friends. 

Carefully he grabbed Hogun's arm, regarding him with caution. 

A small smile broke on the others face. 

"Good fight your majesty."

Finally, Loki too started to smile. 

*

Apparently this had been the thing that was needed to break the ice with Thor's friends. 

After training, all of them went to a tavern to celebrate Loki's victory and he learned that aesir believed that a fight was a way to get to know each other. One who did not stand his ground was considered suspicious and and who avoided the field a person of missing honor. He understood that Thor's friends wished for their prince's spouse to be a strong person, somebody Thor could rely on. And to his utter surprise Thor stated loudly that Loki was in fact the strongest of them all, since he defeated the fearsome Tyr in the council room. The friends cheered on the tales that Thor told them from Loki going against the dwarven ambassador and wrangling the knowledge of old books. This made everyone laugh, but Loki felt warm. He saw that Thor's approval was genuine and that was enough. 

Lots of mead flowed and Loki found that he enjoyed the evening, even if he mostly just sat by and listened. His eyes rested on Thor and he felt a warmth that glowed inside him like a small but precious light. 

  
  


*

Thor stumbled back into the chambers. He held Loki's arm around his shoulders to steady his drunken husband. Both of them giggled quietly, especially when they bumped against the furniture and then into each other. 

Despite him being wobbly on his legs Loki let go of him and walked some steps on his own. 

"Did you see the servants face?!" he gasped before new laughter erupted out of him. 

"Aye! But I assure you. The servants have seen their prince in worse conditions!" Thor gave back while held onto a table to get rid of his boots. After he managed to slip out of the second without falling to his face, he sat down on the couch heavily. By the norns, it had been ages that he was this drunk. Not the angry or defeated kind of drunk but happily wasted. 

He watched Loki who turned in circles while he tried to get rid of his jacket. At some point he managed and threw the clothing onto a chair. Left was his sleeves high-neck tunic and the pants. He turned around somewhat proud and grinned at Thor with his hands in his hips. 

Loki licked his lips. He came closer and despite the light wobble his steps were graceful and somewhat sensual. He looked down at Thor through half lidded eyes. 

"Thor." he murmured. His fingertip ghosted over his husband's lips. 

Thor watched him, enthralled. Loki had never looked so hot, all loosened up and relaxed. 

"What are you doing to me?" Loki asked and ended with a small hiccup. He pressed the finger to his own lips and bit down on it softly. His gaze was thoughtful. And drunk. "I think about you so often…"

"I think about you too, Loki."

"Nooo!" he moaned. "I bet-... I bet I think about you more. Like. All the day. I think about you." Loki's gaze hung on Thor's lips. "You do things to me, Thor…"

"I do? " 

"Yeasss…." Loki gasped and then he slipped onto Thor's lap with spread legs. In an instant his lips where on Thor's. His fingers found their way into the blonde mane to card through it and hold onto. Hungry, open mouthed kisses on Thor's mouth, Loki's taste, his scent, the sweet weight of his body on Thor's. 

He pulled his arms around him and closed the last bit of distance, making Loki moan and writhe on his lap. 

"Thor. I need you!" 

"Aye." Thor gave back, his hands trying to open Loki's tunic, but it was not easy. "Let me give you what you need…" 

"No. Not-... not like, not like that."

"Hm?" Thor asked with his face buried in Loki's neck, distracted.

Loki pulled back a little and smiled down on him. "You do things to me. I want to try that. What you do." he mumbled, placing small kisses on Thor's face. 

Thor, in his drunken state, had no idea what Loki meant. All he could think about was that he wanted him out of his pants. 

But Loki got up from his lap. Thor made grabby hands. "No Loki, please… " he whined but to his surprise Loki did not step away. He stayed close and with his half lidded eyes on Thor, he sank to his knees. 

Thor watched him baffled, how Loki settled between his thighs, his hands close to Thor's crotch. Suddenly he felt awake and almost sober. Loki looked up to him, cheeks red from alcohol but a determined glint in his eyes. 

"Since the first time you did this to me… I wanted to try." Loki confessed, his gaze on Thor's. He bit his lip. "Will you let me?" 

All Thor could do was nodd. He watched how Loki clumsily opened his pants, even helped him when he got stuck, until his cock was freed.

Loki licked his lips, unsure how to start. He took hold of Thor's member tentatively and hesitated. 

"Loki…"

When he looked up, Thor bowed down to kiss him. It was a sensual kiss, not the heated devouring of before. It grounded both of them and made Loki hum with delight. When Thor pulled back, he opened his eyes and smiled up to his husband with such a happy face that Thor felt like he could weep. 

Loki leaned in, touching the top of Thor's cock with his lips. It was only small and sweet kiss, but it went through Thor like lightning. He moaned with tightly closed lips when Loki started to lick him, exploring his taste and the feeling on his tongue. Thor's hand carded through the raven hair while Loki took his time licking the shaft up and down and swirl his tongue over the tip. When he sucked Thor into his wet and warm mouth Thor's hips bucked out of volition and he groaned deep from his throat. 

"Loki…" 

The man in question moved in again. Slowly bobbing his head up and down, sucking Thor's tip. His hand started to move up and down, aided by the wetness from above. 

Thor's hand caressed Loki's hair and he could not avert his eyes from the view in his lap. Loki sucked like he had never done anything else so arousing in his life, moaning softly onto Thor's cock. The vibration only added to the lustful experience and Thor had to bite his lips to prevent coming embarrassingly fast.

When Loki looked up at him with lidded green eyes however, he felt his ability to hold on fade pretty fast. With a soft, but steady grip on Loki's shoulder he pushed him back. The tip sloped from Loki's lips with a wet pop and his husband looked like Thor had taken away his treat. 

"Not good?" he asked with puppy eyes. 

"Very good. Excellent. Norns, Loki. Come here!" 

Thor pulled him up and in a kiss. Somehow they ended up both on the couch, Loki on his side, his back to Thor who was half over him. He managed to get Loki's pants down over his ass and finally his fingers found the warm wetness between the others thighs. 

Loki moaned when he buried two fingers in his pussy. He tried to spread his trapped legs a bit more. "Thor, yes… yes…" he gasped, hair falling over his face when he arched his back. 

Thor pulled his fingers out and brought his aching cock to Loki's opening. Effortlessly his tip slipped in. Loki was slick and relaxed and even in this slightly weird angle he took Thor perfectly. He leaned back with his upper body for a kiss and they lips met when Thor pushed all the way in. 

Holding onto Loki's hip he started to move, steadying himself with his feet on the ground. 

Loki shook with each thrust, gasping and moaning for more. 

When he felt that the could not go on for much longer Thor's hand searched for Loki's own cock. He rubbed him up and down in the same rhythm as his thrusts, hurling his husband over the edge into an raging orgasm. Loki curled into himself, almost crying out under the rush of sensations, his body spasming around Thor deliciously. Thor followed right behind, the clenching sensations of Loki's pussy making it impossible to hold on a second longer. 

"Loki… " he gasped into his husband's hair while he rode out the aftershocks. 

Slowly they stilled their harsh and chaotic movements. Entangled in each other in the awkward angle on the way too small couch both of them felt like wrapped in a warm and soft blanket.

Slowly Thor slipped out, what made Loki gasp and then giggle. 

Thor too chuckled. "What's so funny?" 

"By Ymir's frozen breath." Loki laughed, sinking against Thor. "How shall we make it to the bed I ask you? I'm totally... done!" 

They held onto each other until the laughing ebbed. Thor felt the room spin a bit but somehow he managed to get to his feet. The pants around the knees, holding onto each other and still giggling the pair made it to bed finally. 


	26. Harmony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! It took some time, but with all going on it was difficult to focus on this fic. Now I'll start again and hope it will turn out well.  
This is a bit shorter than usual, but I wanted to post it. It's sweet and soft and fluffy, and maybe you can use such in these difficult time.
> 
> The chapter is dedicated to all of you who go through hard times right now, but especially for Bepp - I hold my thumbs for you and wish you all the strenght you need!

It took more than a whole month for Odin and Frigga to return to Asgard. 

Those were weeks where Thor and Loki enjoyed each other's company in and out of the sheets. Loki got better in welding his seidr and also in using the daggers. Thor gained skills in diplomacy and tactics as well as trade negotiations. In the evenings they sat with Thor's friends or Sigyn, a scholar Loki had befriended during his studies. But not for long, because the pair longed for some time alone each night to explore the other's body and wants. 

Life was - as much as it could be - good. 

*

When the royal pair returned, all of Asgard hurled itself into a series of festivities way more joyful than the wedding of the crown prince had been. Loki experienced Asgard in all its glory and might when preparations took a whole week and the palace was turned upside down. Countless merchants brought food, wine, fabrics, and everything else one might need during the celebrations. An army of servants tidied, scrubbed and polished everything to a perfect shine. 

The realm celebrated not only the return of king and queen but also the renewal of diplomatic relations to the other worlds. In order to that a huge amount of dignitaries of the other realms were expected too and needed to be accommodated, which added to the bustling atmosphere. 

With growing nervosity Loki noted that a part of the guest wing was prepared for cooler temperatures, which indicated that the king of the Jotun was expected to come with his entourage. Loki did not look forward to see his oldest brother again, was he still busy to avoid the other. But either way, it was not his to decide, so he schooled himself in Asgard's traditions of accommodating guests and celebrating festivities. 

"You will do fine, your majesty. You learned so much in so little time." Sigyn reassured him. She took his arm while they walked to the library. It was a Form of bodycontact that seemed to be appropriate for friends, but still was strange to Loki. He had seen Thor taking Sif's arm, and even Hogun's, but still, all that touching was foreign to him. Sigyn seemed not to notice his uncomfortable feelings, since she smiled unapologetically. "It's almost as if you were born aesir!" 

Loki smiled with her, even though he still struggled with so many things. But despite that it was good to hear such words.

*

Thor met his uncle in the main hall where a group of servants decorated the walls with fresh flowers. 

"Uncle! Good to see you!" he boomed when he drew closer. Their relationship had improved significantly in the time since Odin's departure. 

Tyr turned to him and a smile appeared on the rugged face. "Nephew. There you are. I wanted to go over the preparations with you."

Thoe nodded and together they walked to Tyr's office where the older man kept his notes about what was finished and what needed overseeing. 

They discussed the last steps of the preparations and how to receive the Allfather and his wife on the bifrost. The festivities planned for after their arrival would take three full days, filled with feasts, presentations of art and music and last but not least the renewal of the lieges oaths to the golden throne. 

Thor's eyes moved down the list of things that still needed to be considered. He rubbed his beard in thinking. 

"What is it, Nephew? Is the plan not to your satisfaction?" Tyr asked but Thor shook his head, laughing. 

"You organized everything in the most splendid way, Uncle. Father should think of a way to reward you for such hard work."

He paused a moment. When Thor opened his mouth to say more his face got a soft expression that Tyr was not used to seeing on him. 

"I just thought… well, Loki's and my marriage wasn't a very joyful celebration. He resented the act as much as I did. And I…" The thought of his own acts during the festivities made Thor lower his head in shame. He cleared his throat. "However, I thought about it that we're getting along quite well right now and all these preparations make me wonder if we can… truly celebrate our union. With fresh feelings. To let go of the old grudge once and for all."

Tyr clasped Thor's shoulder and smiled warmly at him. "I'm glad that you feel this way." He nodded to himself. "How about you look forward to the birth of your first child then. As far as I'm informed the two of you try your best in that." Thor grinned. That much was true. But his uncle wasn't finished yet. 

"Let me promise you, when your firstborn sees the golden light of Asgard we will hold a feast that will be spoken of in ten thousand years! And I'll plan it personally!"

*

Loki splashed water onto his face. He felt awful. How often had he told Thor that all that red meat was not good for him?! But again, they had deer for dinner. Those silly aesir, who always wanted meat, meat, and more meat. How should he deal with the opening celebration tonight if all he could expect there was even more deer, ox, sheep and whatever they called those other animals the merchants brought in dozens. 

His stomach tightened at the mere thought and he leaned over the sink to catch his breath. 

No matter how he felt, he needed to get through with this. Odin and Frigga were expected in a couple of hours and until then Loki had to get back into shape. If only he could master the healing spell he had practiced. 

To his relief the nausea slowly dissolved. The breakfast had been light, not too strenuous for his sensitive digestive system. With a last wipe over his mouth he straightened his back until green eyes found their counterparts in the mirror. 

Loki regarded himself a few moments. His mind wandered to another spell he had practiced lately. 

Maybe… 

Loki looked over his shoulder. He was alone in the huge bathroom. Thor had left half an hour ago to see his uncle and get over the plans for the royal return. He would not return for some time. Loki had stayed in bed, excusing himself with an headache to wait out the nausea. 

Now his gaze returned to the face in the mirror. He swallowed. 

Slowly he raised his pale hand, the slender fingers ending in soft-pink nails, the skin tender as a peach. He looked at his hand and focused. Murmured the spell he had created out of various one's he discovered. 

His fingertips turned blue, the nails becoming darker until they were black against the blue skin. Slender lines of heritage appeared on the skin. 

Loki gasped in delight. The change stopped and then melted, chased away by Frigga's charm that was still activated. But still. For a moment… 

Loki took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again a smiling face looked at him from the mirror. 

He turned on his heel and marched to the bellpull to get Erla for dressing. 

*

Thor met Loki on the entrance to the palace. They would ride to the bifrost site, accompanied by Tyr and other dignitaries, to receive Odin and Frigga after their travels. Both were dressed for the occasion: Thor in his ceremonial armor, hair braided and Mjolnir in hand, Loki in a green and gold attire that balanced between the genders. 

Thor looked his husband up and down and a broad smile appeared on his face. 

Loki seemed well. More than that, in fact. The physical training slowly changed his posture, made him walk more upright and straight. It underlined his natural grace and beauty. He also grew more and more accustomed to aesir aesthetics and combined them with jotun accessories like armbands that resembled bone but were made from white jade. 

But maybe it was neither of those things that made Loki look more beautiful than ever, Thor thought to himself. Maybe it was due to the growing confidence that he displayed. He seemed to have found his place in Asgard, among its people and Thor's side. And that was… nice. 

"What are you staring at?" Loki huffed, a light flush appearing on his cheeks. 

Thor chuckled. 

"You. Im staring at you." 

With that and a warm smile he held out his arm for Loki to take, to walk with him down the stairs where the horses awaited them already. 


	27. Family Ties

Something felt odd since the royal pair returned to Asgard. Loki could not realy point out what it was, but he often felt the Allfather's eyes on himself and that wasn't a feeling he liked. At first he had suspected it was to check on him and Thor, and that the king would be satisfied with the way their marriage had turned out. Because in fact, Loki could not have dreamed that it would turn out so well. 

Thor had changed his ways around him, Loki saw that clearly. The man was still a brute sometimes, used to it that everything went out of his way when he was marching through his life. But he had taken too heart that Loki was afraid of him in the beginning and did his best to not be too harsh or let his natural lightning spark in a fight. And in bed he was… attentive. Very much so. Loki felt a hot shiver run through him whenever he thought about what they did when they were alone. 

So all in all, even if there was the occasional fight between them, life was good. Lately Thor looked at Loki with much fondness, even affection and the jotun had to admit that he felt the same. Behind the brash attitude of the crown prince a young man was hidden who cared deeply for his friends and family and was willing to improve if given the chance. 

But despite this development, Odin seemed sour. He treated Loki with politeness but even Frigga seemed reserved. Maybe the pair was vary from the long travels, Loki pondered. They weren't exactly young anymore and had visited eight realms and countless dignitaries. Maybe it wasn't about him at all and it was due to his upbringing that he grew anxious when somebody displayed a sour mood around him. 

Of course, during the festivities there had been no time to talk in private. Too much everybody was occupied with celebrations and formal receptions and the endless feasts. But still… it happened that Loki turned, because he felt a tingling in his back, as if somebody was standing too close behind him, breathing down his neck. And everytime he found Odin stare at him, his single eye like steel. 

It was… disturbing. 

The opposite was true with Byleistr. Loki had feared to have him on his back from the moment he stepped from the rainbow bridge, but he only rarely saw him and his small entourage. Of course the king of the Jotun joined the festivities, had Jotunheim been the last realm the royal aesir pair had visited. But instead of bothering Loki whenever they crossed paths, instead of threatening him with mysterious questions and hints, Byleistr was a role model of courtesy and politeness. He even summoned Helblindi to his side where the ambassador kept to himself. Of course, when the three of them were forced to meet the relationship was chilled - they were Jotun after all. But for the first time Loki was under the impression that his older siblings treated him with something akin to respect. 

Loki tried to not ponder on the strange situation. Maybe he was getting paranoid with all the people around and the constant need to be seen in public and interact in his role as part of the royal family. After one of these days, the weeks he had spent with Thor and his friends alone seemed almost serene and he hoped they could go back to that when the celebrations were over. 

At least Thor's interest in him seemed not to suffer from all the fuzz around them, but maybe the aesir was more used to it, had he spent all his life at the aesir court and not in a secluded cloister. He even had the energy to pull Loki along to the training ring after a long day of festivities to 'let off some steam'. And that wasn't the only thing Thor indulged himself with. 

At this very moment he showed his interest with kneeling behind Loki, his tongue buried between his wet folds while his hand stroked Loki's needy cock. Loki was on his knees and all that prevented him from melting into a puddle were his hands that clawed helplessly on the bed sheets. 

"Please Thor… I- uhh… I can't- I can't take it anymore…" 

"Shh, don't be so impatient, your majesty…" 

Thor licked upward and over Loki's puckered muscle. It send a shot of hot lust up Loki's spine and he buried his face into the pillows to stifle his moan. Thor's tongue had gained mastery in getting Loki completely undone and the prince used it to his advantage. His index finger circled over the wet tip of Loki's cock in the same rhythm he tortured him with his wicked mouth. Nipping on Loki's folds or thrusting his tongue into the wet heat or even teasing his tightly closed back entrance, Thor seemed to be able to go on for hours. 

"Oh  _ please _ ! Fuck me already!" Loki groaned and threw his head back when Thor's finger left his cock and slipped inside him to rub small circles into that place inside that made Loki see stars. "Such lewd talking? I'm shocked. I thought you to be distinguished and posh". 

Loki wriggled his hips and looked over his shoulder, attempting to be seductive. "I am… I just… uh- do you want me to have all the fun to myself?"

Thor grinned at him. "I have a lot of fun here, don't worry. You can repay me later though."

"I'd prefer…" Loki circled his hips, enjoying the feeling of Thor's fingers inside him "... to not increase debts here…" he purred before another moan tore out of him. 

"Well then. Can't let you slip into destitution…" 

Loki gasped for air when finally the fingers were replaced by something bigger. 

"I must admit… I like the demanding nature you developed in bed my love." Thor whispered in Loki's ear when they were pressed back to chest, one of Thor's arms keeping his hips in place. He found himself wondering, because it was true. Since a couple of days he felt insatiable of the coupling with his husband. Even initiating it. Luckily Thor indulged him there. 

Then the first thrust chased away all of Loki's thoughts, replacing them with utterly libidinous sensations. 

*

It was the first evening after the festivities were over and the palace slowly eased back into the usual pace. Nobody was in the mood for heavy food since the feasting had been marvelous and long but the royal family used the opportunity to gather in the private hall. Odin and Frigga sat on the head of the table, Thor with Loki on Frigga side while Tyr and Sif sat on Odins. Thor and his uncle had clasped arms in greeting which elicited a rising eyebrow of the Allfather. He brought the topic up however, when the light dinner was almost over.

"You two seem to get along well lately."

Thor, who had been about to empty his drink and leave, turned to him with a smile. 

"We do." He sent his uncle a wink. "In your absence Tyr showed me a lot of how the kingdom is run and well…"

"He  _ managed _ ." Tyr remarked but he was smiling fondly under his beard. 

"Did he though?" Odin seemed surprised that his brother had a good word for his son. Thor tried to not let it get to him. He turned to his father, his smile unwavering. 

"Yes." Thor turned to Loki, placing his hand in his husband's shoulder. "But it wasn't my doing alone to be honest. Loki was a great help. He is very smart and literate. Uncle, tell him how even the dwarven ambassador was full of praise for his knowledge in the courtroom."

Loki averted his eyes, a bit embarrassed to be the focus of the attention but also flattered. 

Odin however seemed not very happy about this. His lips were a thin line and his one eye laid sharp on his son in law. 

"Was he? I wonder why he attended in the first place."

"Because I told him to." Frigga dabbed her mouth with a napkin and then placed it on her empty plate. "It seemed wise since he is the future queen." She regarded Thor with a smile. "And it is a good thing that they spent time together, no?" 

Odin only harumped to that and said nothing. Thor ignored him and turned to his mother. 

"I taught him how to fight. But mother, Loki developed a spell that is useful in battle. You need to see this!" 

"Oh, how nice. I can't wait. But now we shall retreat."

With that she placed her hand on Odin's arm and let him guide her out of the hall. Tyr bade farewell too and left. 

Thor stayed behind, his brow furrowed. This had been… awkward. His mother usually did not act like that,not even to placate her husband. He had expected her to be way more curious about Loki's improvement but she appeared… indifferent. 

"Thor? What is it?" came Loki's quiet voice beside him. 

"I don't know… they act… strange."

"Maybe they're still tired from the travels." Sif mused but she also had a frown on her face. 

Whatever it was, neither Odin nor Frigga seemed inclined to tell at the moment so Thor decided to let it slip. Usually his father didn't beat about the bush so it was only a matter of time before he would tell Thor what kind of flaw he found again. 

With a internal sigh he wished Sif a good night and accompanied Loki back to their quarters. 

*

Loki stood in the middle of the bathroom, listening to any sound from the other chambers. He licked his lips in a nervous gesture and stepped up to the full body mirror. There he looked over his shoulder, as if to check that he truly was alone. Thor had already gone to bed, deep in thought about his parents behaviour. 

Loki excused himself and took a bath, but only to stall until his husband was asleep. Now he stood in front of the mirror, just a towel wrapped around his hips. 

His heart was a nervous bird, but when he lifted his chin his gaze held determination. 

He could do it. 

All that was needed was at his hands. Only the confidence seemed to be lacking. Confidence to step forward and…

Loki took a deep breath. He closed his eyes, centering himself into his magic. 

Slowly he raised his hands, his fingers fanned out. He crossed wrists above his head and focused on the arcane energy that flowed freely through him. Canalized it into the tips of his fingers. Slowly, like in trance he moved his hands down, the fingers almost caressing his face, neck, shoulders. Over his arms, his chest and belly, down his legs to his feet.

Loki opened his eyes.

Red eyes gazed at him in the mirror, surrounded by soft blue skin. Blue and beautiful like a glacier he stood in front of the mirror, unable to believe that he truly did it. And the spell held, even against Frigga’s charm that was still active.

A sudden bubbling laughter erupted out of him, but immediately Loki silenced himself, remembering the need to be quiet. He waited with a hand clasped over his mouth. Had Thor heard him? 

After a couple of heartbeats when nothing stirred in the bedroom he turned to the mirror again. He could not believe what his eyes were seeing. Swirling around, watching himself from different angles, his back, his legs, the way his red eyes glistened when he looked over his shoulder Loki basked in the appearance. 

But then, on silent feet, the joy lessened. 

What would Thor say to this appearance? Loki felt his heart sinking. His husband had never been fond of the Jotun, even hated them in the beginning. He was fond of Loki now, yes. But a Loki who appeared aesir. 

Would he grow to like this version of him? Or would him seeing Loki like this shatter all that had build between them? 

With a sinking heart Loki became aware that in fact he could not trust Thor's affection that much, no matter how sweet and beautiful things were between them lately. Not when his entire life depended on it. 

Loki bit his lip and then jerked back when a sharp pain emerged from the place. He forgot that his teeth were sharper in this form, suited to devour half frozen fish and uncooked roots. When he put a finger on his lip the tip came off coated in tiny specks of blue blood. 

Suddenly the figure in the mirror didn't look beautiful any longer, but sad and dangerous. A member of a defeated race. A beast in the eyes of the people. 

He could not step up to Thor like this! He could not risk to lose his affection. All that made his life on Asgard bearable had come through Thor's affection and friendship. If he was thrown back into isolation and loneliness, married to a man who hated him… Loki could not risk that! 

And not only Thor… He clearly remembered the Allfather's displeasure at the dining table, directed at him. Maybe his husband hadn't seen it, but to Loki it had been clear as a glacier that Odin wasn't happy about him being involved. How much worse would that be when his son in law was… this? 

Loki's heart beat fast when he undid the spell and returned to the form the Allmother's charm forced upon him. 

Pale. 

Beautiful. 

Loveable.

When he left the bathroom Loki avoided another glance into the mirror. 


	28. Unexpected Allies

Slowly the colder season came around in Asgard. The weather grew chill and Loki felt reminded of his home world when he inhaled the crisp air in the morning. The mere idea of different seasons was still foreign to him, had he expected Asgard to be always as warm and sunny like it had been at his arrival. The opposite of Jotunheim in every regard. But it wasn't so. The color of the plants changed, becoming golden, brown or red. The air grew moist and rich with earthy smell and then, one morning, glittery ice covered the grass in the garden. It filled him with a strange mixture of delight and homesickness that he tried to get rid of with immersing in his studies.

*

"Good morning Lady Sigyn." 

"Good morning your Majesty." The young woman curtsied, even if Loki had told her it was unnecessary, he regarded her a friend. But since they met in the library she insisted on the protocol. "I hope you rested well."

Loki managed to keep his smile unwavering when he nodded. The nausea in the morning had lessened considerably, but now Loki was confronted with another issue he didn't want to deal with. The reason for the sickness. He suspected a pregnancy, had he read that nausea could be part of it. But to be sure he needed a way to confirm what was happening to him. Preferably without seeing a healer who would inform the royal pair immediately with no doubt. Unfortunately the library contained not many information about jotun biology and he had nobody to ask. He had to figure things out on his own it seemed.

Meeting with Sigyn was an opportunity to not think about his troubles. She knew nothing of his worries, and Loki intended to keep it that way. It wasn't that he didn't trusted her. But to confine others in his worries was foreign to him, had he always dealt with his problems alone. Her friendly company was enough. 

Together they walked between the isles, keeping their voices low to not disturb the other people around. 

"I wonder if we find a solution to the problem we discussed the other day. The festivities of the Allfather's return have taken so much time, but I thought about it when I found a minute."

She nodded eagerly. "I talked to the librarian in your absence and there is a tome about life spells and how Yggdrasil works in plants and animals. This can lead to how it is with higher forms, I think. We can try that one first."

Loki nodded. Sigyn was not only smart but also curious and open to wisdom of any kind. At first he had hesitated to talk with her about magic and such, fearing her rejection. But when she asked him a hundred questions on how he used the shield spell as a weapon he relaxed. Even if Sigyn was no sorcerer, she understood Yggdrasil's power and was schooled in arcane knowledge. With her he could indulge himself in the mysteries of life itself, a time of reprieve he valued very much. 

Loki followed her to a section with books about magic and she pulled out a promising volume. They wandered over to an area with small tables and cozy seating to show him some passages she had worked through while Loki had been occupied with matters of the court. Quietly they conferred about certain aspects of Yggdrasil, forgetting time and duties for a moment. 

*

_ "Do you see that?" _

Loki's fine ears caught onto the snickering a few tables away. He focused on his writing, trying to ignore it, but the words reached him anyway. 

_ "Hah, if somebody had told me, I wouldn't have believed. I wonder who taught it to read in the first place." _

Sigyn seemed to haven't heard the insult so Loki kept his head down and continued his notes, pretending he hadn't caught on it either. It was about him, of course. It. The jotun beast. 

The more he was seen out of his room, the more he encountered that many aesir still held contempt against him as a person and his race in general, and especially his role as the future queen. 

_ "I thought the likes of it are to be kept on a chain." _

_ "Well, prince Thor tried, did he not." _

Loki's head snapped up. Sigyn gasped, startled by it. Loki didn't hear what she was saying because there was a loud noise in his ears. He rose from his seat. 

"Please excuse me-..." 

Whatever Sigyn said he couldn't hear on his hasty retreat. 

*

Loki stumbled through the library doors and took the first corner. Nobody was there so he leaned against the wall to calm his rabidly drumming heart. His heart beat like a drum in his head. He tried to focus on the present, on being in the library wing, but his memories entangled him, drawing him under, back into the moment right before the wedding. Being pulled behind Thor's bulky form, on a chain between his wrists. The whole court gaping at him. 

A hand over his mouth stilled the frantic breaths. He tried to regain his usual posture, the calm exterior that he had trained himself into in long years at the jotun court. But it wouldn't come. Too much stirred the memory of that day a load of suppressed emotions. The fear while fleeing Thor, the lightning striking him down, being brought to Asgard, being warped and changed and chained and paraded around. All of this was a knot deep inside of him he had never worked open, just pressed down on it to keep it under the surface, in order to be able to survive. Now all of it entangled, wrapping around him, pulling him under. Shuddering breaths escaped him while he slid down the wall, hot tears streaming down his face. 

*

"My my, what happened to you that you cry like a youngling?" 

Loki's head snapped up. How could he not have recognized the sudden drop of temperature, the heavy steps moving towards him?! With the last bit of willpower he suppressed a cry when Byleistr leaned down to him. He pressed himself against the wall, trying to merge with it. All he learned about defensive spells and such washed away by the assault of memories, leaving him defenseless. Like a child. 

But Byleistr's face to Loki's surprise, changed into a compassionate frown. 

"Come little one. Let's get you out of here. Can't let the  _ Vilden _ see you like this, can we?" 

With that he pulled Loki to his feet effortlessly and the younger jotun could not fight against the arm around his shoulders. 

Byleistr led him away from the main hallway to a smaller one. Somewhere out of the reach of prying eyes Byleistr sat Loki down on a windowsill,his hand still resting on the younger ones shoulder. 

Despite his oldest sibling being friendly, Loki was petrified, had he expected to be scolded for breaking down like this. At best. To say that he was vary about Byleistr's intentions would be superstitious so he gauged him carefully. 

"So, that's better, hm?" the older jotun murmured in a fatherly way. "Why don't you tell me what upset you so."

Loki cleaned his face with his sleeve. 

"It's nothing. I apologize for making a scene."

But Byleistr, patient as a glacier, just waited, watching Loki squirm. 

"It's… despite the union the aesir are not… fond of me being here. A lot of them resent me. Us."

"I see…" Byleistr rubbed his chin in thinking. "And I had hoped so much that this marriage would change that. But it becomes more and more apparent what we should have known after the last war." He frowned. "They are savages. Unable for compassion and redemption." He placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. "I'm saddened by your suffering."

All Loki could do was to gape at his sibling. 

Byleistr, his eyes wide placed a hand over his own heart. "Don't think me heartless because I sent you here. I dearly hoped this would open the gates for a future in friendship. Even sent your brother as ambassador. But to no avail. The aesir are… dangerous." He shook his massive head, his brow furrowed in sadness. 

Loki couldn't make sense from all that. It didn't fit with what he thought to be true about his brother and his intentions. But… 

"Fret not, little one. We'll find a solution. Soon." Byleistr said and Loki avoided to think about what that meant. 

*

The meeting with his sibling had disturbed Loki more than the things he had to overhear in the library but at least it distracted him from what was said behind his back. If nothing else, it helped him to pull himself together enough to be able to excuse himself and leave for his chambers. Loki stepped inside, happy that Erla wasn't present and leaned against the closed door. Byleistr had been… nice? It was unfathomable and Loki shook his head to stop thinking about any oth this. He needed to distract himself!

With hasty steps he marched to the study. There it was, the book about trade history he had ordered to look things up for the council. Loki sat down and opened it, his lips pressed into a thin line.  _ 'Occupy your mind with other things. That's the way to go. It always was.' _

For the next few hours Loki busied himself with preparing information for the next meeting with Tyr. The older man continued his conferring with his nephew and husband, even if Thor and Loki didn't attend the council meetings any longer, now that Odin was back to lead the talk. Still Tyr saw value in discussing certain topics with the other two, so they met occasionally. It gave Loki the opportunity to immerse himself into a theoretical problem until it was time for dinner. 

With Erla's help he got dressed in aesir style, his hair adorned with golden rings and his green and black attire flawless. 

"Die you see Thor?" he asked, while the girl closed some clasps on his back. 

"No your majesty. The crown prince hasn't visited the chambers all day." She stepped back to observe the overall impression. "I'm sure you'll meet him in the great hall."

Loki pressed his lips closed. He had hoped to go there together with Thor, to not fall danger to stumble into another person who resented him on the way. But it couldn't be helped. He had to make his way alone and wait for Thor at the royal family table. With all the dignitaries and ambassadors and foreign rulers present at court the most evenings were celebrated in the great hall, where Loki often felt like being openly on display. With Thor by his side all of this was so much easier to handle. Nobody dared to whisper something nasty, was Thor known for his short temper when angered. 

He straightened his posture when Erla stepped back, looking himself up and down in the mirror. He looked good. Elegant. Even pretty. 

Aesir. 

"Well then." he mumbled to himself and left. 

*

The way to the hall was fortunately empty aside from guards and servants since Loki was a bit early. He took his seat on the highest table, hoping dearly that Thor would not show up late. To his displeasure the hall filled without the blond giant emerging from the crowd. Byleistr and his entourage filled the overly large table that had been constructed to meet their needs. Red eyes rested on Loki and he felt the hairs in his neck rise with worried anticipation. But all he got was a friendly nodd from his siblings before they sat down to wait for dinner to begin. 

Odin and Frigga arrived shortly after, making everybody rise again. The pair greeted Loki, both obviously irritated by Thor's absence. When she sat down Frigga left a place between them and him for their son. Even Tyr and Sif sat already, as anybody else in the wide room when the crown prince was still missing. Odin waved a guard over to inquire about Thor's presence and the man left in a hurry. 

Slowly Loki's nervousness pushed open the doors to panic. The day had started disastrous and continued in the most disturbing way with the talk to his sibling. Was this the overture to something even more dire? He pressed his nails into his palms to keep calm while his heart raced. Whatever kept Thor away, it couldn't be something good. 

Finally, when the tension became unbearable and Odin began to open dinner without his son being present, the huge doors at the end of the hall swung open. 

Thor marched in, his red cape flying behind him like a banner, his hammer in a tightly closed fist. All eyes were on him, the conversations ebbing away when lightning cackled around Mjolnirs head. Quickly silence fell over the vast room, until only the marching heels of Thor's boots were to be heard. He crossed the great hall and stopped right before the dais to the royal table. In the silence you could have heard a pin dropping. 

Next to Loki Frigga took a deep breath, but his eyes were fixed on his husband. Thor fixed Odin as if to challenge him, before he gazed at Loki for a second. He winked. Loki's nails dug into the armrest of his chair. 

"I have to make an announcement!" Thor's voice boomed through the great hall like a gong. Everybody held his breath, even Odin's mouth snapped shut, his single eye wide and fixed on his son. 

Thor turned to the hall. "An announcement for all of Asgard to hear!" He turned to the table again, extending his hand. "Come to me, husband."

Loki gulped. 

Slowly he got up from his seat, feeling all eyes on himself like a weight on his shoulders. Like in trance he rounded the table and descended the stairs where Thor awaited him with his raised hand. Gingerly Loki placed his fingertips on Thor's who closed his hand and pulled him closer. Then he turned his head, letting his ganze roam over the hall. 

"Listen Asgard. I hereby declare that everybody who dares to insult my husband is going to be challenged for a duel! I will not tolerate that Loki, your future queen and Allmother is badmouthed or just frowned upon!" 

Loki stared at him. He held his breath, unable to believe what he heard. From the corner of his eye he saw Sigyn, her hands clasped over her mouth but her eyes shining. 

But Thor wasn't finished. His voice grew louder because the hall didn't stay calm at this statement. Loki even thought to hear complaints against the crown prince, had he treated Loki like a beast in the first place. 

"I know, I'm at fault here too. I thought about it for a time and I must admit." Thor's eyes found Loki's. "I'm ashamed." And with his eyes on Loki's face he went down on one knee. 

"I'm sorry, husband. Please forgive me."

The crowd in the hall erupted into turmoil, but Loki heard nothing of it. 


	29. Behind The Curtains

Loki stared at Thor who knelt before him. He couldn't believe what had happened seconds ago. What Thor had done. In front of the whole nine realms on top of that. He stared at him, unable to get his brain back to work, let alone his mouth to form an appropriate answer. 

After the declaration, silence settled over the great hall again. A pin would sound like a gong at the moment. The air was charged. 

And then, slowly at first, but growing louder with each passing second, someone clapped.

Loki and Thor turned their heads, eyes falling on King Byleistr, who slowly rose from his seat. The grin on his face was not exactly a happy one, had it almost a snarling, mocking quality, but his clapping was heard all over the place. Quickly his associates followed his lead. 

And then the dwarven ambassador rose to clap. And his fellows. And then the table of the vanir. Soon every table filled with outerworldly guests and dignitaries was on the feet, clapping and cheering and stomping until even the aesir got infected and joined. Soon the whole hall boomed, Loki and Thor standing in the middle of a hurricane of applause. 

"That is enough!" the voice was even louder than the deafening noise. Odin slammed the end of his spear to the floor and at a single blow silence fell over the hall. Everybody looked up to the highest chair, where the Allfather also had risen from his seat. 

"Some things need to be said." the old king declared, quieter now. "And others wait for the right time and place." Loki felt Thor's fingers tighten around his when he straightened his posture. But Odin continued. "And now is the time to eat and drink and make merry with friends and allies. So please, take a seat and enjoy Asgard's hospitality."

*

The evening ended without another word from Odin to his son or son in law, but none of them had the chance to think about it. Too much was everybody occupied with celebrating, as if the pent up energy of Thor's entrance needed an out,and countless people wanted to talk to Thor and Loki, raise their glasses with them and cheer. 

When he finally followed Thor to their chambers, even Loki felt pleasantly tipsy. 

"What you did… in front of everybody…" he gasped when the door closed behind them. Thor, much more sober than his husband, turned to him. "It had to be done." He pulled Loki closer with both hands on his hips. "And to make this clear. I meant it. I'm sorry for the things I did."

Loki looked into his blue eyes that reminded him of home. They were so sincere and warm. When had he started to feel this way about Thor? 

"I don't know what to say…" 

"Then don't…" 

The distance between melted. When Loki's lips found Thor's he thought what a miracle life was. 

*

The next morning came with a pleasant surprise, that wasn't all that surprising, but still very pleasant. 

Fast steps carried Loki through the palace halls. He tried to avoid thinking about what Thor might say to the news. If he would be happy. Of course he would, wouldn't he? 

No matter what, Loki had to tell him. Finally he had found the right spell to confirm and now nothing could hold him back. Except that he had no idea where to find the missing husband. 

Thor had left him right after breakfast to train since for the late morning a talk with Odin was scheduled. 

Loki stopped, out of breath. Where to go? The training grounds? Would he be still there? He doubted it. The sun was high in the air. Lkii llooked right and left, gauging which way he should take. The great hall? The courtrooms? Or out of the palace? 

Loki turned to the left and marched down the hallway. He remembered vaguely that Thor had said something about meeting the king in private. To the royal chambers then! 

He deliberately shut down the thoughts about the former evening, who loomed in his back all morning. Odin had not seemed mad when they parted the other night. Hopefully his talk with Thor was not a tongue-lashing about his apology. 

He pushed his worries away. Loki could hardly focus anyway, too much was his mind filled with bubbling emotions and thoughts. What Thor had done. How everybody had regarded him carefully at breakfast. How he felt when he thought about his husband. But the main aspect that occupied his mind was what he needed to tell Thor. About him. About them. 

While he hurried down the hall he protectively placed a hand over his flat belly and a wide smile graced his lips. The spell had confirmed what he suspected already. A heartbeat, small but steady, deep within him. A child. 

He had to tell Thor, now! 

Loki hurried along, his robes flying. 

*

Thor followed Odin through the palace. His father's mood was strange today and Thor tried his best to not anger him. Ever since their return the old king appeared irritable and short-tempered anyway. Thor wondered if something had happened during the travels that justified the mood, but he didn't ask. The past had proven that his father would only tell him what he deemed necessary anyway. So he walked beside him, mostly nodding along. Fortunately the early training had relaxed him so much that almost nothing his father might have to say could anger him. 

"You're surprisingly quiet, son." Odin started, once they entered the private area of the crown chambers. It sounded like an accusation. 

"Am I father?" Thor gave back and forced a smile on his face. The tactic to hold back seemed to be lacking. 

"You are." Odin clicked his tongue. "Quite different to yesterday."

_ 'Here it comes…'  _ Thor thought, but didn't answer. What Odin might have to say about his apology he would say anyway. 

But the king did not dive into it. Instead he turned around and faced Thor. 

"Tyr told me that you leave the reigns to your husband."

Thor raised his eyebrows, surprised. "What are you talking about?" 

Odin's mouth was a thin line under his beard. "I'm talking about how you let your spouse handle the court's meeting and sat by like a statue!" 

Thor's brow furrowed. "Well. During your absence it occurred that Loki is quite capable of handling negotiations and trade talk. He is a scholar in regards to the traditions of other-…" 

"I don't care about that!" Odin grouse and all Thor could do was stare at him, dumbfounded. They reached the back part of the throne room, where small receptions were held. Odin gave the guard the sign to close the door behind them and sat down heavily on his throne. 

"I'm getting old, son. The Odin sleep looms on the horizon. And I want to make sure that you're set up to overtake my reign."

Thor shook his head softly. "Father, I am. Has Tyr not told you how much I came forward on that path while you've been away? With Loki's support-…" 

"You shouldn't have gotten so attached to that witch! Has he woven a spell over you that you can't even form a sentence without naming him?!" 

Now Thor gaped at his father openly. This was a misunderstanding, it had to be. Still, there was a dark door opening behind him, cold graveyard air wafting out of it. Thor didn't want to turn and watch what was laying there for him. The reason why his father had been adamant about his union. And now was mad that Thor lived it. 

But Odin seemed to be inclined to wipe the slate clean. 

"Did you really think I was to set you up with a jotun for the queen of Asgard? That's hilarious. We had to hide it from you, so that you would not give it away. But you can't seriously think I would let you spent the rest of your life with a ice witch."

"Father. I have no idea what you're talking about and I seriously don't want to know. Loki and I may have had starting difficulties but now…" 

"He will destroy Asgard and all the realms in the glimp of an eye. Is that what you want?" 

"Wha-... What in the norns name are you talking about! I ask you one more time to make sense father or I swear I will go and-…" 

"Son. Please calm down." It was Frigga who stepped closer, her hands clasped in front of her. She had entered the room without Thor even noticing. 

"Mother! Thank the norns that you're here. Please, get some sense into him!" 

But his mother's eyes were tired and her face set. 

"Thor. Listen to him. We thought you to be safer when you didn't know. But now…" 

Thor stepped back. "What's going on?! Destroy Asgard? With-... What?" he turned to Odin again. "You're mad that I let him handle the court! That's what you're talking about?"

"Son, no…-" 

Thor pointed at Frigga. There must be a reason to all of this. A way to solve this madness!

"Mother asked him to come see the court meetings! He did as she advised."

Frigga sighed. "I tried to gain his trust. I figured he would be more amenable when he felt welcomed. Until the end."

Thor stared at her while she stepped up to Odin. Both parents looked contrite but determined. 

"It's about the casket!" Odin snapped. 

"All Loki has to do is touch it with bare hands. Then the energy of Ymir will erupt and destroy the realm the casket is placed on, except Jotunheim." Frigga explain until Odin interrupted her with a raised hand. 

"You tried to get the casket, raided the fortress it was in. But they snatched it from the tip of your fingers. Even Heimdall could not see where it was hidden. So I decided to take away the other part of that deadly union - the seidmarer child of Laufey. The union was the only way. And a chance to gain the casket too from the hot-headed oaf of a son Byleistr."

Thor, feeling cold all over, still denied what he was hearing. "That was before, father. Now it's different. The casket is stored away safely. Even if-…" He stopped himself. The thought of Loki betraying him was to dire to even finish the sentence. 

Odin snorted. "He is a seidmarer! And a powerful one on top! If he wants to, he can go everywhere! If it was about me I would have left him shackled until we can get rid of him safely." 

The cold spread. Thor felt frozen to the core. "But… why?! Why even play the ruse when both of you never intended to keep him alive! Why not get rid of him after he gained you the casket from Byleistr?!" Thor could not believe what he was hearing. There must be a misunderstanding. His mother, the person who always had guided him with a soft, forgiving heart, talked about their plan to kill his husband. That Odin was this ruthless he knew, but her… Now she regarded him with pity. 

"The child, my son."

Thor shook his head. She couldn't be serious. But Frigga, smoothing out her dress, continued. 

"When I discovered that he was of magic I persuaded your father to keep him alive even after the marriage. After the shackles were removed prince Loki displayed a fabulous connection to Yggdrasil that only a few possess." She turned to him and her eyes glowed, every inch the queen of Asgard. "Think about it. You, the son of Odin and me, heir to the power of Hidskalf and the Odin force. And the mother of your children a gifted seidmarer. The lineage would be even more powerful! If Loki gifts you one, maybe two children…" 

Thor stared at her. He could not believe what he was hearing. But Frigga only smiled pitifully and put a hand on his arm. 

"Who could have guessed that you grow fond of him, of all people…" 

*

Loki stepped back. His form trembled uncontrollably but his movements were quiet. 

Had they heard him? No, the talk continued. 

Slowly he retreated from the door, his blood deafening in his ears. Panicked breathing could give him away so he pressed a hand onto mouth and nose while his back scraped over the hallways wall. 

Steps! Loki turned his head. There was someone coming. 

He ran. 

*

He had no idea how long he had been fleeing and why he had ended up here. Maybe because the cold suggested home, and despite better judgment home was associated with safety. 

Loki's silken slippers hardly found grip on the mirror-like floor of the guest wing. Charms in the walls kept the temperature low, freezing. Ice crystals floated in the blueish air. It was darker here, darker than his aesir eyes found homey. 

Loki straightened his posture, despite the full body shudder. A strange calm expanded in his chest. With a practiced gesture he lifted his hands and let them sink around him. The temperature became bearable, then cozy, the dim light soothing when his body changed. 

Loki undid his clothes, leaving silk, leather and gold in a untidy heap on the floor. Only clad in his pants he moved forward. His naked feet found good grip easily on the smooth floor when he stepped to the door. 

He entered Byleistr's chambers. He would not leave them without answers.

*

"Ah, my sibling. Good to see that you found back to your true form."

The king of the Jotun extended his arms in an inviting gesture. Somebody made a makeshift throne out of conjured ice and Byleistr rested on it like he would in Utgard's great hall. 

Loki fixed his sibling with an unrelenting glare when he stepped closer. 

"Why?" 

Bylesire had the audacity to raise his eyebrows in mock surprise. 

"Pardon?" 

"Don't pardon me! I demand to know why!" 

" _ Demand _ , you pathetic little runt-" Helblindi, who sat next to the throne, grouse, but a hand of his older sibling calmed him. He bowed lower to reach eye-level with Loki, his grin dangerous. 

"I see. So come closer and let me tell you, Loki of Jotunheim, what your destiny is."

*

Thor and Frigga stared at each other. The shouting match had been one of a kind. Thor hadn't very often fought with his mother, but if, the battles had been fierce. And this time nothing less than his future was on the line. 

"I tell you. I  _ love _ him. And he loves me. We will leave this war behind and built a true truce between our realms!" 

"A true truce?! Hear what you're saying! You don't even know him, how can you know that he will not turn against you at the very first opportunity!"

"Why should he! We're happy! I-" 

"Norns, Thor! Don't be so naive! All he has to do is grab the casket and all the life of Asgard will be gone! This is too much of a risk to take for you to be happy!" Odin shouted. That again made Thor see red. Thunder crashed on the outside. 

"Father, stop meddling with my life!" He turned to Frigga. "The same goes for you. If there is an issue with Loki, I will deal with it myself!" 

Odin, about to explode, his face red and his mouth already open wide got interrupted by an Einherjar who stepped uninvited. The royal family turned to him, ready to ram the poor man into the ground. 

"Majesties. Prince Loki broke into the vault!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O


	30. Claws Of Destiny

Loki stepped closer. His naked feet made no sound on the smooth floor of the vault. It had been laughably simple to enter the place. At least for somebody who had learned how to use dimensional steps lately. 

Despite the successful use of a spell he had hardly practiced he felt no joy. There was just this numbness inside of him that had spread after the first shock of Asgard's betrayal on him. 

Byleistr had explained what the sole reason for his existence was. To be a vessel for the caskets energy. A medium. A weapon to destroy Jotunheim's enemies. That was why his sire had kept him alive and close to the casket. It was Loki's connection to Yggdrasil that paved the way to pour Ymir's power into another realm, to freeze it to death. Not even the Allfather's might was able to prevent this. 

Too bad that this process would kill the medium. That's why the jotun King had hesitated to use it. Loki was the first seidmarer on Jotunheim in a thousands years. The last one had given his life to conquer Midgard. 

_ 'If used from Jotunheim's surface the caskets power leaves the targeted world intact. But if he is unleashed on the realm itself…' _ Byleistr had explained when he initiated Loki into the plan. So that was why he had gifted the casket to Loki's wedding. Maybe Loki should be grieving on how easily his sibling was willing to sacrifice him, maybe fury would be appropriate, but he felt nothing. 

He came to an halt in front of the casket. Carelessly it was placed on a pillar, no further charms or protection. Another sign of how big-headed and arrogant the aesir were. 

Red eyes rested on blue glow. Loki's breath was a cold cloud in the warm air when he exhaled softly. His hand rose, hovering over the frozen surface of Ymir's heart. His blue hand with the raised lines that connected him with the long history of his world. 

He felt the power. The power that could soon flow through him. Destroying him while he took revenge for every fallen Jotun. For every insult his race had taken. For every insult he had taken himself in the past few months. Wasn't that what he always dreamed of? To have power? 

At least death would end suffering. He had suffered his whole life and and even if he tasted joy for a short time, it had been based on a lie. Sham. 

Marriage. 

His heart ached. A dagger inside his else numb body. 

Thor. 

He could end this now. Once and for all. One small gesture. 

His hand hovered over the casket, unwilling to touch it. 

_ 'Grip it with both hands. The energy will burst through you' _ Byleistr had explained. 

Tears pricked Loki's his eyes and he swiped them away with an angry gesture. This was the end of the line. Why bother with sadness now?! Because of warm blue eyes? A sob tore out of his throat. 

_ 'Don't think about him. About us.' _

The hand over the casket moved as if it had a free will on its own. It placed itself over Loki's belly. Another sob ripped out if him. The tears fell freely now. It was as if he could feel the tiny heartbeat under his palm. Strong but so small. So fragile. In dire need to be protected. 

Slowly, as if walking on thin ice he stepped back from the casket, as if he feared that it would jump and attack him. Force him to do what he came for. And could not accomplish.  _ Would _ not accomplish. 

_ 'Weak' _ he heard Byleistr snarl in his mind. Or was it Helblindi?  _ 'Argr!'  _

Loki took another step back both hands protectively over his belly, his gaze blurred by tears.  _ 'No!' _

"There he is! Stop right there?" the Allfather's voice boomed. 

A blast struck Loki down and all went dark. 

*

Odin used Gungnir to roll the jotun onto his back. Thor felt reminded of the first meeting with him. The moment after he himself had blasted him to the ground. His skin was blue, covered in mysterious lines. He was unconscious, Gungnir's blow had taken him out in an instant. Still, both of his hands rested on his taut belly. 

"That was close…" Odin murmured. He gestured to the Einherjar he had brought along. "Bring him to the dungeons. We'll execute him as soon as possible."

"Wh-..." Thor began, lifting his hand but Odin interrupted him, his single eye ablaze. 

"Don't! I made my decision. Now leave!" 

Thor could do nothing but watch when the guards carried Loki away. 

Loki, who had tried to destroy Asgard. 

Who had betrayed him. 

*

Thor sat down on his bed. He felt strangely detached. As if all of this was a dream. A nightmare. 

His husband had tried to destroy Asgard. The other jotun had fled the palace, leaving their youngest sibling behind. Both realms were - again - on the brink of war. And what had bloomed between him and his husband… shattered into a million pieces. All he could do was to sit here, staring at the shards and ask himself if he should not have seen it coming. If his father was right and he didn't even know the jotun prince he had shared bed and table with. Was he such a gifted actor that all had been sham without Thor noticing? 

_ 'Don't be naive!' _

Thor placed his head in his hands. All he saw was the tear stained face of his unconscious husband, so foreign and strange but still him. 

A knock on his door made him look up, swiping away the wetness on his own face with the back of his hand. 

"What is it?!" 

"It's me, your majesty, Erla. Lady Sif and Lord Hogun are here to talk to you, your majesty. Shall I send them away?"

"No." Norns, his friends already heard the news it seemed. Of course, Sif was part of the family. "I'm coming. Tell them to wait."

He wasn't in the mood to talk about Loki's betrayal right away, but it couldn't be helped. At least his closest friends deserved to know what had happened. Thor rose and straightened his shoulders. 

*

Loki woke in the dungeons. He couldn't be sure of course, but the small bed he rested on, was made from a piece of stone, as the walls next to him. The outline of the cell displayed the prisoner to others pretty well, since two of four walls only consisted of the transparent golden glimmer of force fields. Not a single place was shielded away from prying eyes and Loki could see others prisoners in similar cells. 

He sat up slowly. His eyes fell on his hands and feet. Skin blue, nails black. He still was in his jotun Form. It mattered not. They would execute him, no matter what appearance his body presented. 

He rose to his feet, feeling only a little wobbly while looking around. Why haven't they done it already? Odin seemed to look for a chance to get rid of him anyway. 

A hand found his belly. Of course. That was the reason. He would stay alive, at least long enough to give them the sorcerer heir they wanted. 

He could not prevent the mocking laughter that bubbled inside of him. A snicker escaped and he pressed a hand to his mouth to not laugh out loud in a place like this. But it was too funny, wasn't it? The possibility that he was pregnant kept him alive. Even Byleistr had urged him to fulfill this special duty. Getting with child. And why? Because there was a rite where a jotun babe touched the casket while his dam held it for him. To bring it in contact with Ymir and gift it the power to control the ice - a necessary survival skill on Jotunheim. During that ceremony at least Loki would have touched the casket. By Ymir's frozen arse, what a plan! Only a stone-head like his sibling could come up with such! Odin would have never let him hold the casket for his babe. The old sod knew about all of this from the beginning. 

And in the end the sweet little life inside him, that Byleistr couldn't get early enough was the main reason why Loki had chosen life over death.  _ 'How do you like that, dear sibling?' _

He straightened his posture and felt inside with his magic. The heartbeat was still there and steady despite all that had happened. 

Sadness spread in Loki at the thought that this time in prison would be the only one he would spent with his child. As soon as it was born his life would end, that much was sure. At least the kid would grew up with his father. Hopefully. If Thor did not despise it now… 

The laughter had died down and Loki sat on the stone bench, his head low. 

"I see you're well. As much as possible."

Loki's head snapped up at the familiar voice. He hadn't heard somebody enter! Then Frigga materialized a couple of feet away, her hands clasped together in front of her. She presented a soft but sad smile, but that would not deceive Loki any longer. He backed away slowly. 

"Please, child. Fear me not." the Allmother pleaded, her hands open in an placating gesture. "This is just a projection of my mind. I'm not allowed to visit, but I wanted to see how you're doing."

Loki regarded her with small eyes. 

"I'm well, thank you. Say-..." He stood up to face her on eye level. "What's the court protocol for this? A royal visit in the dungeon. I would hate to behave inappropriately!" 

The smile fell from her face at his sarcasm and a much stricter expression took its place. 

"Spare me your sharp tongue, Loki. This is not what I wished for you."

"I bet. If I haven't gotten behind your plans you would have enjoyed to watch me pop out children before executing me."

He saw in the short widening of her eyes that she had not expected him to know all of her and Odin's plans. But she got herself under control again pretty fast. 

"You're not wrong. But believe me, I didn't want to see you dead. Not if you don't propose danger to Asgard. After your second birth I would have pleaded with the Allfather to keep you. Thor grew fond of you and after so many years the chance for you to turn against us would have been low. But you messed it up!" 

Loki felt his hands turn into claws. In his jotun form he spoke more with the body than the face he noted. And the things he communicated were anger. Fury. Rage. 

How dared she, talking to him as if he had messed up a picnic or something?! As if he was a thing to  _ keep _ if it behaved! 

But it would not do to insult her. The fact that she came to see him meant that he was not completely useless to her. She still saw a chance to turn him into a pet. Maybe he could work with that. 

For the first time in his life Loki felt the will to fight. To escape what life threw at him. At least for the babe growing in him he had to try. So he relaxed his hands and forced a calm expression onto his face. 

"It wasn't my intention. Asgard has shown me great hospitality. And I was not about to use the casket. I wanted to confirm that it was true what my sibling told me. That I'm connected with it. That he-... send me here as a weapon. But I was about to leave when your husband arrived."

She sniffled indignantly, but he felt her gauging him and his intentions very carefully. 

"I'm glad to hear that you feel this way. About Asgard. About us. Say… you and Thor have grown intimate?" 

So that was where the wind was coming from. She wanted to know if he was with child. Loki thanked the norns that he had no chance to tell somebody yet. 

He looked down, feigning embarrassment.

"We are! I'm as fond of him as he is of me. But I can't say if I am with child, it's too early to know for sure. Jotun show signs of pregnancy pretty late." At least that was true. 

"Be it as it may. You'll stay here for the time being. I hope you use the time to think about what you've done."

He didn't answer to that and after a last scrutinizing look the figure of Frigga disappeared. 

Loki sat down on the bench again. Only time would show what the future held for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say after this Frigga is dead to him... (bad pun intended)...
> 
> Joke aside, let me know what you think, comments are highly appreciated. :D
> 
> I will need some time to write the next chapters since the plot makes a turn, now that all is out in the open. So stay tuned! Thank you for supporting this story, I love you all! :))


	31. Imprisonment

Loki paced his cell. He had returned to aesir form since that prevented the guards from taking liberties with him. He learned quickly that being viewed as jotun wasn't something that was healthy for him down here. 

His mind raced. Two times a day he received food and water and the bucket in his cell got emptied. Aside from that he never saw a single person. Even the other prisoners had been moved to other cells, out of sight. He was truly alone. 

'If they try to break me with this, they need way more patience.' he thought to himself and sat on the bench to start his meditation. The fact that he had spent nearly all his life in solitude came in handy now. 

Luckily his magic flowed freely inside the cell so that he could practice his tricks and spells to occupy his time. When he grew tired he simply sat and felt inside, into the well of magic power that flowed through him. And his child. 

_ 'They're right. You'll become a faboulus seidmarer one day, little one.' _ he thought to himself and the small life in his belly. It would take all the luck a single norne could weave into his fate to let him see that for himself though. 

Time went by. Loki counted the times he got food to gauge how many days he was in here already, but it lost any meaning. In the dungeons the only light came from the energy fields and that did never waver or change so he had no idea it it was night or day, end of the week or the beginning. It mattered little, was he only waiting for what would happen when the signs of his pregnancy were not to hide anymore. His hand slid over the small bump that grew a little with each passing day, but was still invisible under his clothes. He thought about concealing it with magic, but abandoned the thought as soon as he came up. If they thought him empty, they would execute him. And he could not throw away his babe's life for his own pride. 

A small noise made Loki look up. 

Steps of boots. 

He frowned. The second meal had been brought hours ago. According to the rhythm down here he should be alone for at least six more. He got up and waited, hands behind his back. Who was seeking him out? Did they decide to not wait any longer?! 

Loki's heart made a leap when out of the dark, a familiar face appeared. The golden light of the energy cage fell on strands of equally golden hair. Loki suppressed a painful noise when Thor stepped up to his cell, his face impassive. 

He looked different. There was not the usual energy in his body that made him seem as if he was ready to jump into action. Even his clothes were dull and simple, a dark coat covering most of it, the blood red cape missing. 

_ 'Will he of all people be my guard to my execution?' _ Loki wondered, but hid all that he felt behind a carefully crafted mask. He raised his chin. 

"Thor. After all this time, and  _ now _ you come to visit me." Loki stepped up to the barrier, as if he needed to show himself that he was no longer frightened. There was nothing Thor could do to him that would change the situation for the worse. His voice became cutting. "Why? Have you come to gloat? To mock?" 

Thor's face darkened. "Loki, enough." His blue eyes, not warm any longer, slid down Loki's body. "And no more illusions." 

Loki inclined his head, raising his eyebrows in question. Then he smirked. Well, the worst had happened. What else had he to lose? With practiced ease he raised his hands, swiping the aesir glamour from his appearance, leaving blue skin and red eyes behind. 

Thor's face however, stayed impassive. 

"Now you see me, husband. Does it suffice?"

Thor's eyes slid down his appearance but nothing in his face betrayed how he felt about it. Was he already so closed off and cold towards Loki that not even his natural form raised any reaction in him? His eyes met Loki's with determination.

"I did not come here to deal compliments, but to pick you up. Come with me willingly. Or get dragged on a chain."

Loki's eyes became small and his blue lips turned into a snarl. "So this time I'm offered a choice, yes? How comes?" 

Thor stayed impassive. "Will you take it?" 

"You're not going to tell me where you'll lead me to?" 

"Loki, deep down you know it already."

So it was true. Loki's hand found his belly when his insides cramped with the prospect of his nearing death. He had to tell Thor. He had to inform him about their child. He wanted to. But Thor's impassive voice and his willingness to carry out the last duty of their marriage himself let Loki choke on the words. 

He nodded. "Yes. Indeed."

*

Thor stepped into the cell and bound Loki's hands with shackles. The jotun prince feared that those would suppress his magic again and flinched when the metal closed around his wrists, but nothing changed. Loki searched in Thor's face why he had decided against the mage bounds, but he could not read him in the slightest. He swallowed. 

Should he try to flee as soon as they left the dungeon? He was able to do dimensional steps but only for a few meters. It was helpful to overcome closed doors but he only could do it twice before he needed a pause. Loki had to be careful with his resources but a silver lining on the horizon let him turn to hope. If he was smart about it he could find a way to escape. Maybe. 

Thor clicked the second shackle into place and stepped back. With his hand on Loki's shoulder he guided him out of the cell. 

At the end of the corridor four Einherjar awaited them. Apparently Thor didn't trust him to follow in a civilized way and got some backup, just in case. Loki pressed his lips into a thin line and lowered his head. Slowly the procession wandered down the gloomy halls. 

*

It took some time and endless stairways to reach the upper floors where the golden glamour of Asgard was present in every corner. Loki's naked feet made no sound on the marble floor, only the boots of Thor and the guards were to be heard. The silence between them gave Loki plenty opportunity to ponder on his impending fate. 

Where would they do it? In private, like the schemes the family plotted? Or in public for everybody to see? Was this why Thor wanted him in his jotun form? Because his was the first sacrifice of many jotun who would die in the new war? Loki tired to stop those thoughts. He had to find a way to escape!

The sound of other boots neared, another group of soldiers seemed to come behind them, the steps way more hasty. Thor stopped, looking over his shoulder. 

"That was way quicker than I thought."

"I'll get them. You move forward!"

Dumbfounded Loki watched how one of the guards turned out to be Sif. She stepped forward and positioned herself in the middle of the hallway, her double sword ready. She turned her head and winked. "Do what you must."

Thor's hand on Loki's shoulder pulled him forward. The group moved way faster now, urging the prisoner along. What was going on here?! 

They arrived in a broader hallway that lead to one of the greater balconies. A group of guards awaited them there, weapons drawn. 

"Hold!" the leader shouted, but it was visible that he didn't feel comfortable in acting up like this in front of the crown prince. "In the name of the king!" 

Thor didn't react, he steered Loki away from them. Two of the guards in their group stepped into the way of the advancing soldiers. Over his shoulder he recognized them as Volstagg and Hogun who got ready for the fight. 

"Move, your highness! We got this!" 

Every pretense of calm fell down and they ran, Thor and the remaining guard - who turned out to be Fandral - grabbing each one of Loki's arms to drag him along quickly. The rushed to the balconies edge. For a second Loki wondered if Thor wanted to throw him over but then he saw the skiff floating in the air. They jumped on board, Fandral took over the steering while Thor pulled Loki down on a bench in the back. The sounds of fighting were replaced with the rush of the wind when the skiff steered away from the palace. All of it was drowned out by the thundering heartbeat in Loki's chest. His red eyes were wide and his lips dry when he looked up to Thor, about to ask what was going on, but hesitated. Thor was focused on the sky behind them, as if he expected others to follow. When he felt Loki's gaze however, he leaned down. Loki flinched back, but all Thor did was to remove the shackles and threw them overboard. Finally Loki found his voice. 

"Thor-... Wha-... What's going on? What are you going to do?!" 

For the first time there was the trademark smirk and the warmth in his blue eyes that Loki had missed so much. He touched Loki's cheek and neck with his big hand, cupping it in a gesture of care and intimacy. 

"What do you think, husband? Escaping Asgard, of course!"


	32. Escape From Asgard

The skiff arrived at the bifrost site. Loki felt numb and it wasn't because of the cold wind - in his jotun form the cold didn't bother him anyway. But the fact that Thor wasn't going to execute him, but the opposite, that he was trying to free him,  _ flee _ with him, made it impossible to grasp a clear thought. All of his mind was occupied with  _ 'What if they catch us, what if this is a ruse, what if-...' _ He couldn't get his hopes up only to see them squashed again! 

Thor, unaware of his struggles, helped him out of the skiff and onto the rainbow bridge. He turned to Fandral. 

"Did you prepare everything."

"Of course my friend. All is ready and set." They clasped each other's underarm. "I wish you luck." 

To Loki's surprise Fandral turned to him and grabbed his arm too. "You too, Prince Loki. Stay safe." With that he turned and marched into the middle of the bridge, drewing his slender sword. He faced the way to the city where at the other end of the bridge horses were already to be seen. "Now hurry! I'll keep them at bay for you!“

The wind became stronger. Loki felt it coming from the palace. Odin learned of their fled and was not amused. 

Thor seemed to feel it too, since he only nodded with grim determination and pulled Loki along and into the round chamber. 

Loki remembered it only vaguely from his arrival in Asgard, but to his surprise the room was empty. Nobody stood on the dais, and no gazed was present, but the sword was in its place and the gate already open. Snowflakes drifted in from there, accompanied by a cold breeze. 

Loki stopped short. Was Thor going to bring him to Jotunheim? Why?! Was this about his siblings who had fled the very second their plan hadn't worked out? Despite how much he wanted to, Loki still couldn't trust Thor's motives, too much was unspoken between them. To often had he learned that the ones he cared for betrayed and used him. 

Thor however, was unknowing of Loki's inner turmoil and turned to a package someone had placed by the dais. It was a big bundle of fur strapped around other things Loki could not identify. Thor lifted the package onto his back with a grunt and then was with two steps back at Loki's side. He took his husband's hand in his larger one, his eyes on his Loki's face. 

"Alright. Follow me."

And to his own surprise, Loki did. 

*

The bifrost catapulted them through time and space to a predetermined destination. Cold hit Loki when they arrived and howling wind made his open hair dance around his slender shoulders. He followed Thor when he stepped out of the intricate patterns that the bifrost had created onto the snow. It was night and the storm blew ice crystals into their eyes, making it hard to see. 

Thor however, didn't waste a second and pulled Loki along, dragging him away from the bifrost landing side with haste. 

Loki followed, his Jotun eyes quickly adapting and recognizing the surrounding. This wasn't Jotunheim! Wherever Thor had brought him to, the landscape was very different. Tall pine trees, heavy with snow surrounded the place. It smelled far more lifier than Ymir's home ever could. So this was a realm that only in the cold season was full of snow and ice, but way more prospering in other times. Was this Vanaheim? Alfheim? 

Thor pulled him along until they reached the trees. There he sat down his bundle. Loki noted that the bulky form of his husband shivered in the cold. 

"I take it you don't need a pelt?" Thor asked while he untied the thick fur from his bundle. "No…" Loki noted that under his cape Thor wore a ticker harness than usual, padded and long sleeved. Suitable for this weather. He covered himself with the fur and shouldered weapons one might use for hunting. Then he continued his tracks with Loki's hand in his.

*

It took them more than an hour, wandering through the knee high snow. Thor was quiet and the only sounds was the crunch of the snow, the wind and their own breaths. Despite the dire situation Loki marveled in it. The more his body was exposed to the cold, the more he felt alive, even if this wasn't his home world. He looked around in curiosity, the snow providing enough light for him to see perfectly fine. A part of him wanted to lay down and submerge in the whiteness, but of course they could not. Thor seemed to expect them to be followed, because he didn't pause, even if the wading strained him way more than Loki. He seemed to know the way though, because he moved with confidence and determination. With the snow covered fur on his shoulders he reminded Loki of one of the sacred beasts of the old tales of Jotunheim. 

Had he planned this all along? 

Finally they reached their destination. On a small clearing laid a small cabin made from logs, sturdy and dark, covered in thick white. The wind had died down and even some stars were to be seen between the clouds, lighting up the snowy scenery in the most beautiful way. Wherever Loki turned to there was no sign of other people, just their own breaths, the silent woods and the quiet drizzle of the snow. 

Thor seemed familiar with the surrounding because it didn't take long for him to open the door and set them up inside. 

Loki stepped in behind him, looking around the simple, but functional cabin. It consisted of two small rooms, one serving as a kitchen and living area, one as a bedroom. The furniture was made of wood too, but the bedding looked soft and somewhat fresh. Dry provisions filled the shelves and chopped wood was stacked next to the oven. The thought that Thor had planned this way more intensely than he had suspected intensified when Loki watched Thor lighting a fire and a couple of candles. Everything was ready for them and it only took a couple of minutes before the living room was lit and slowly filling with warmth. The howling of the wind got company from the cracking flames and the quiet sounds the wooden structure made when it warmed up. 

In prison Loki had not been given other clothes and so his whole attire consisted of pants, but still he felt the warmth becoming uncomfortable on his icy skin. He decided to turn back into his aesir form. It didn't take much effort by now anyway, was mostly like shedding a loose piece of clothing. Just a gesture of his hands and his skin became pale and his eyes green, taking in the brighter colors with ease. 

Thor however, turned to him with raised eyebrows. "You don't have to do that." 

Loki hesitated. His eyes fell on his pale arms.

"It's more comfortable when you warm up the cabin. My jotun form is suited for far cooler surroundings. 

Thor, appearing flustered, gestured to the oven. 

"I could…" 

Loki raised one hand, baffled by the hesitation of his usually so brash husband. As if Thor was highly unsure how to deal with him now. But the effort that the didn't want to wrong him was visible and it warmed Loki more than the fire. 

"Please don't. I-... I want us both to be comfortable."

Slowly he approached, his eyes on Thor's. With careful movements he undid the pelt cape around Thor's shoulders. The wet fur he placed on a stool next to the oven before he started on Thor's dark coat. 

It was a peaceful moment between them while Loki worked, the first since the morning when Thor had left to talk to his father. It started to softly overcome the uncertainty that manifested between them with all that had happened. Loki's nimble fingers, by now used to the complicated ways an aesir harness was strapped on, loosened the shoulder parts and took them away. All the time he was focused on his hands. Both were quiet, but he could feel Thor's eyes on him. 

Finally the outer parts of Thor's attire laid an the side to dry and his husband stood in front of Loki in nothing more than a tunic, pants and boots. Now that he was done, Loki felt insecure again and attempted to step back. Thor's hand came up to cup his cheek, making him look up with a soft gesture.

Their eyes met. 

Loki gasped when all the feelings he had suppressed and buried deep inside resurfaced all at once. A volcano forced its way upward, overcoming the barriers, filling his eyes with hot tears and his heart with want, need, the urge to be held and touched and kissed to feel that this was real, that they were together. He found his needs mirrored in Thor and their bodies collided. Their lips met, fingers buried themselves in long hair to pull, nails scratched over skin to touch, to feel, to know that the other was truly there. 

Thor's pelt landed in front of the fire and nobody cared for the sound of tearing fabric in their urgency to feel each other fully naked. Loki's back arched when Thor entered him, his legs wrapping around the other's hips to pull him closer, as close as possible. Thor's hands slipped under Loki's shoulders to lift him from the pelt, pressing him against his chest, his face buried in the crook of his neck, breathing him. This was not sex, this was the need to feel, to submerge into the other, to become  _ one _ . Without breaking the close contact they moved against each other, with each other, hands everywhere, breathing the same breath, until both of them collapsed in front of the fire. 

*

Loki rested on his side, his head on Thor's shoulder, fingers playing over his lovers chest. Thor, on his back caressed his arm absentmindedly. Both slowly came down from the high they had experienced in the other's arms, thoughts and questions starting to pile up, but neither of them wanted to disturb the quietness. For a couple of moments there had been no outer world, no royal duties and no fled. 

But both of them knew this could not last forever. It was Thor who moved first, sighing before he slowly sat up, letting Loki slip onto the pelt next to him. Loki watched him stoke the fire to new life, feeling his stomach becoming tense. 

"What are we going to do next?" he asked quietly. To his surprise Thor only shrugged. 

"I don't know."

Loki sat up and face him, a dumbfounded expression spreading over his features. 

"You-... You don't know? Wha-... What was your plan in the first place?"

" _ This _ was my plan! I wanted to get you out of the dungeon and then out of Asgard!" 

"And beyond that?!" 

"What do you mean beyond?! That's pretty far I guess!"

Outside the cabin the storm became stronger. Somewhere thunder rumbled in the distance. 

They stared at each other for some moments, both breathing heavily. 

Loki looked away first. He slid a lock of his raven hair behind one ear. "You're right." he exhaled, his breath a bit shaky. There was so much going on, he couldn't even grasp it fully. 

"I'm sorry. I haven't even thanked you for getting me out of there…" 

"Loki…" Thor's voice became softer when he turned to him. He took his hand, the thumb stroking over Loki's knuckles. "No need for that." He leaned in and cupped Loki's face again in that soft gesture that made the jotun's heart jump every time. He placed his own hand over Thor's fingers and leaned into the touch. He crouched closer until he felt surrounded by Thor's strength again. His confidence, where Loki only saw obstacles. 

"They'll look for us."

"I think so."

"What will you do when the find us."

Thor's face became hard. 

"Fight."


	33. Midgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm not dead and the story is still in full swing. I was working on other subjects and stuff but now I'm here again, let's see how it goes. Cheer for me, will you :)

"You can't see them?! What are you even saying?!" Odin hollered, his face red and his single eye glaring. Heimdall, kneeling in front of the throne, bowed his head. The room was full of people but one would have heard a pin drop, so quiet was everyone. Quiet and afraid. Only Odin's amplified voice sounded loud and clear throughout the golden halls. 

The gatekeeper didn't raise his head, didn't fix his golden eyes on his king when he answered. "It is as I say, my king. Wherever they traveled to, there must be a strong charm protecting them from my sight."

Odin pulled back in frustration upon so much unbearability, his fists white on the golden armrests. "And the traitors? Have they confessed yet?! A single word on the whereabouts of my son?!" 

"Not yet, my liege." Tyr answered. His face was pale and gaunt. He too didn't look into Odin's face, but to his feet, his lips a thin line. 

"Theb them again by the Norns! Use your wits! Any means are good as long as you get answers!" 

Tyr paled. 

"Majesty… I must have misheard!"

The king regarded him with an expression that bordered on hatred. But then he got a grip on himself. He smashed his fist into the armrest. 

"Find them! At any cost!" 

*

The snow was a perfectly even plane, like a white bedsheet between the cabin and the woods. It scrunched quietly under Loki's feet when he stepped on it to wander a few steps into the bright morning sun. He had not changed back into his jotun form, the light was too bright on this world, especially with the reflecting snow covering everything. It wasn't necessary to rely on the cold resistance of his jotun body though. Thor had brought shoes and a tunic for him and he had covered himself in the thick fur his husband had worn yesterday. Enveloped in its warmth he stepped onto the clearing and held his face into the sun, the eyes closed. It was quiet, even the wind had abated, and everything around him felt at peace. 

_ 'Midgard' _ Thor had explained, the world of the fragile humans. _ 'I like to come here. And it's a place where Odin can't find us easily. The bustling life of this world makes it hard for him to see.'  _

Loki inhaled the crisp air and felt his body relaxing. His mind expanded, reaching out to touch the powers of Yggdrasil around him, flowing through the trees, the grass under the snow and the small animals surrounding him. 

A part of him pondered on what to do next. Even if they could hide here, in this small and insignificant realm, it would not last forever. Odin wasn't a man who'd let them leave, especially not his only son and heir. And Frigga was resourceful. They might find them eventually, and Loki was not willing to sit and wait for that to happen, just to be dragged to the dungeon again, his child taken away as his husband. They had to take action. But what kind of action!? Defying Asgard? Fleeing somewhere else? His hand touched his belly, conscious of the great responsibility he was carrying. 

He opened his eyes when he heard the cabin's door creak open and his hand fell away to rest by his side. 

Thor stepped outside, clad in his pants and boots, the upper body naked and a bit damp from washing himself. He was a force of nature, the beard and mane glistening in the sun and his body almost bursting with life. Uncaring of the fresh air he followed onto the clearing.

Loki smiled at him over his shoulder before turning his face back into the sun. It felt good to be here with him. The feelings for Thor were a soft glow inside, even warmer than the sun. 

Thor stepped up behind him, pulling Loki's back to his chest, resting his chin on the fur on his husband's shoulder 

"Did you sleep well?" 

"Yes. Thank you." Loki muzzled his cheek against Thor's face, inhaling his scent. He still was amazed how Thor had planned all this. Found the cabin, stocked it, without the palace noticing. Broke into the dungeon and organized the fled. 

Loki opened the pelt he was wearing and placed in Thor's shoulders before he slipped back into the embrace. Now the fur warmed them both and side by side they enjoyed the scenery. Still, the restless thoughts had grown roots. 

"What about your friends? What will happen to them?" 

The arms that held him became a bit more stiff, tense. 

"I'm-... not sure. Sif is Tyr's daughter and the king's niece. He will not harm her. But the others…" 

Loki didn't share his faith, had he experienced how cold hearted they had treated himself, even if he too had been part of the family. The thought that Sif and their other friends had sacrificed themselves for his well-being - or at least for Thor's wishes - gripped his heart tight. He kept quiet about it however. No word could make it better, ease the depth of the guilt he and Thor shared. 

They kept silent for some time. Then Thor sighed and let go. 

"Let's go inside. I'll make breakfast. And afterwards we'll talk."

Loki pressed his lips closed but then nodded. This was necessary, even if a part of him wished he could simply stay out here, stop the realms from moving, the time from running and just…  _ be _ . Here. With Thor. 

Despite what he longed for, he followed inside. 

*

"So… you learned about your connection with the casket after you overheard my parents talk."

Loki nodded, his hands clasped around a cup with hot tea. "As you learned your parents plans that day."

They sat for a while in silence, each occupied with individual thoughts of close relatives. To Loki's utter relief Thor had simply believed him when he told him that he hadn't tried to destroy Asgard. Maybe because he knew how easy it was for majesties to use each and every means in their pursue of power. Even their on relatives. Brothers. Sons. 

"We can't stay here."

Thor looked up at Loki's decisive tone. "Why not?" 

Loki hesitated. Of course they could not. The cabin only held the barest necessities and when the pregnancy moved along he could not live in a place like this, with nobody around to help him through it. But he hadn't told Thor about the baby and somehow it wouldn't come over his lips. He would tell him later, when the timing was right. 

Not now. 

"The bifrost landing site is too close. I'm sure it can be detected somehow. And even if not. Somebody might know of this place. We should change as soon as possible."

To his astonishment Thor listened and then even nodded. 

"Aye. Tomorrow we travel southward. I haven't been here for a while but how much can a realm change in a couple hundred years."

*

"What in Bor's name is  _ that _ !" Thor watched the vehicles the midgardians used to travel from place to place. It was no cart and no skiff either, instead a curious small cardboard box with bouncy wheels, steered from inside.

Loki, who hadn't even seen skiffs before coming to Asgard just shrugged. These things were as good to him as anything else he'd encountered in recent times. 

They walked down the street of a small village, avoiding the heaps of snow that had turned into grey murk close to the road. It wasn't very busy, but the people who saw them stopped and stared. Loki's thoughts raced. They needed to find a way to move on before too many people found them suspicious. Mjolnir had dragged them southward last night but Thor decided it was too dangerous to use it in daylight, so they had to travel by foot or whatever was available here. The hammer hidden it inside the fur package on Thor's back they had walked the remaining distance to the closest midgardian settlement. But here a line of problems occurred. 

Midgard had changed since Thor's last visit. The human clothing looked very different to the aesir styles and the money seemed different too. The transportation had advanced and neither of them knew how to use such a vehicle. 

Loki looked around curiously, smiling at the people they meet to not appear dangerous or frightening. It didn't work so well. He was under the impression that the midgardians weren't the meek and easily impressed folks that Thor had described to him. Even if fragile, they appeared somewhat solid, obstinate. And irritated at the strangely clothes people in their midst. 

Thor seemed to be at a loss. His head turned this way and that way but he didn't recognize much. "Last time I was here there wasn't much difference between me and the folks around."

"This apparently has changed."

"If you have an idea how to move us further, I'm all ears!" 

"It seems to be safer to simply take one of those." he pointed to one of the wheeled vehicles. 

"And why is that?!" 

"Because we have no money. At least not in the local currency."

"We could steal one."

Loki rolled his eyes. "And attract all kinds of unwanted attention? No…" He looked around and then an idea came to him, served on a silver platter. He turned to Thor, grinning. 

"Leave it to me!"


	34. Setting Things Straight

"This is really nice of you. Thank you so much." Loki smiled at the young man who drove the car. 

"Nah, metalheads gotta help each other out, no?" He grinned back and Loki's smile didn't waver, even if he had no idea what a 'metalhead' was. 

The man's name was Chad and he had been the first driver to pick them up when Loki performed what he had seen other people doing, pointing his thumb down the street and smile. Loki thanked the Norns, it was over an hour that they had walked down the street without someone stopping for them and Thor had gotten impatient. 

But Chad had stopped and been very friendly right from the start. Loki tried his best to keep the conversation going without raising too much suspicion. Somehow the midgardian thought them to be part of the same group or something. It probably was some kind of cult. Maybe because of the style, Loki mused. Chad had long hair and a messy beard and parts of his clothing consisted of leather and rivets. Not so unlike what Thor and Loki were wearing. Maybe this was the reason he behaved as if they knew each other. 

Loki learned that the young man had attended some kind of festivity where music was played and apparently was the opinion of that Loki and Thor had been there too. He chatted animatedly about the event. Apparently it was enough for Loki to nod and laugh and behave as if he reviewed those memories with Chad. From time to time gave a couple of vague answers and each time he could feel Thor frown at him in the back of the car. Loki didn't look over his shoulder though. Thor's bad mood was grabbale in the electrified air and thunder rolling on the horizon.

Strangely, Thor was in a foul mood since they met Chad and and got into his carriage. He was glaring at the midgardian in the rear view mirror and spoke as little as possible. Loki tried to be friendly for the two of them and keep the conversation going to not appear ungrateful. Besides, this was a good opportunity to learn more about Midgard and its customs.

"So, your style is dope guys, gotta give you that. Made the outfits yourself?" 

Loki smiled as an answer and nodded. "Cool. What's your favorite band?" 

"Pardon?" 

"Your band? You're style looks epic to me. So, Nightwish? Mol?" Chad threw a look into the rearview mirror, asking for Thor's opinion too. 

"Bragi" came the grumbled answer. Loki raised his eyebrows. So this was about music then? 

Chad blinked. "Haven't heard of them."

"I only know jotun music" Loki said distracted. Thor's mood started to get on his nerves. Hopefully the asgardian would not go berserk on their poor host. The weather already turned darker. Chad however didn't notice. He turned to Loki again, a broad grin on his face. 

"Jotun?! That's awesome! I totally dig them!" Chad turned a switch somewhere in the front control panel of the vehicle and from one moment to the other noise blared from the speakers. 

Loki, shocked for a moment because why would a midgardian know the music of his home world, blinked. 

It was  _ loud _ . 

But also heavy on drums and rhythm. Slowly a melody emerged from the crashing and thundering. Fast. Energetic. Like the plane dances at Nordlys, back at home.

"They're from Norway, no? Pretty little known around the states I fear. You guys'r from there too?" 

Loki nodded his head and Chad seemed to like the answer. "Cooool… I just thought you guys look kind of foreign!" 

Loki watched Chad who moved his head, clapping along with the music on the steering wheel. 

The music moved through him and even if it was loud it felt amazing. He started to clap along in his knee too, moving his head a little. That seemed to spurn Chad on even more and he turned up the volume. Soon the music filled the car and Loki's whole self. A smile spread on his face. He could get used to Midgard! 

*

Chad took them to Norwalk, wherever that was. During the four hour ride Loki unobtrusively learned as much about Midgard as possible. And Chad was a well of information. Loki learned where to ask for a job and how to obtain transitional housing. In Norwalk they could gather themselves or even travel southwards. Apparently the season would grow warmer soon, the last remnants of winter clutching at this place. 

For a moment Loki thought about making a living here for them, here on Midgard. Anywhere was fine to be honest, as long as it brought them away, away from Odin's tracks and permitted Loki to give birth in peace. 

At Loki's request he young man let them out in the outskirts of the bigger town that nestled close to mountains full of pine trees. 

"Okay, so as long as you have no green card try to stay out of trouble, yeah. And keep in touch guys, it was awesome." Chad greeted with his fist before he drove on, leaving them in front of a cheap motel. It was already dark and a soft snowing begun. Loki felt confident that he could obtain a room for the night even if they were still short on money. And tomorrow they would look for jobs. 

He turned to Thor to start the short walk to the motel but when he saw his husband's face, he froze. 

Thor stared at him, his brows drawn together. It had stopped to thunder hours ago so Loki's hopes had risen that the asgardian got a grip on his feelings. But this obviously wasn't the case. Thor just had reached the calm waters in the eye of the storm. 

An iced fist in his stomach Loki's first instinct was to cower and hide. But only for a moment. Then the ice melted under a wave of burning hot anger. A thought crossed his mind, giving voice to the unfamiliar sensations inside of him.

_ 'Strange… I'm frightened but I'm no longer willing to swallow it all down.' _ He was used to endure insult and dismissal from his childhood on, but since the time in the dungeon something had changed. He simply didn't want to stay silent any longer. 

Apparently seeing your whole life crumble to dust in front of you did this. Well… 

Loki straightened. 

"What is it?" he asked and opted for a calm and not unfriendly tone. But he didn't back down. 

Thor glared at him, saying nothing. 

_ 'Childish!' _

"Come on husband. Or do you want to remain in the snow until you're blue as a jotun?" he tried in a lighthearted way that he didn't feel. That earned him a even deeper scowl. 

"Well, then stay here. I'm going to get us a room." He turned but didn't make it very far. 

"Do you intend to brownnose yourself some more or what?" came the cutting reply. 

Loki took a deep breath before he faced Thor again, feeling his temper rising. 

"I'm getting us forward! And in a safe and comfortable way that is!" 

"I got us out of Asgard!" 

"You're right. And now we need to get further away. Unfortunately you haven't planned for that."

Thunder rumbled in the distance again, charging the air.

"Stop that!" Loki cried out, pointing to the trees, fury on his face. His finger trembled, but he did not back down. "I will not be frightened of your thunder anymore!" 

Thor grumbled, his cheeks heating up, but the rumbling stopped and the air cleared a bit. "I don't see while we're running away in the first place. We should await them and fight!" he groused.

"That's all you think about, huh?! Fighting and drinking and fighting! That's how you got me out in the first place, right? Fighting into the dungeon and on the way out so that the whole of Asgard is at our heels now!" 

"At least I'm not running away like a coward!" 

"I'm not a coward!" Loki screamed back! 

"Then fight side by side with me!" 

"I can't!!" 

"Why not?!" 

"BECAUSE I'M FUCKING PREGNANT!" 

They stared at each other, both out of breath. Thor's eyes seemed to try to pop out of their sockets. 

"You're…" 

"Yeah…" Loki sobbed and turned away from him. This was not how he had envisioned it. Now Thor would be even more mad, maybe leave him here "I ah-... I meant to tell you, but…" . 

In one large step Thor was at him, pulling him into a crushing hug from behind. "I'm going to be a father?" His voice was a rough whisper in Loki's ear and he could feel his husband's heart thrumming fast. He placed his hands on top of Thor's and held tight. 

"Yes…" 

Thor turned him around, grabbing him by the shoulders. Loki could not see his face very clearly because of the tears gathering in his eyes. But the blinding smile that spread on his husband's face, made it through the haze. 

"I'm going to be a father!" 

Loki nodded again. 

"NORNS! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE." Thor pulled him close, laughing and hugging and crying and kissing and all Loki could do was hold onto him and hide his smile in Thor's chest. 


End file.
